Not the Right Candidate(Marla) Pamela Grayson was ready. She wore a navy blue skirt with a matching blazer. Underneath was a red blouse that tied in a bow at the collar. She fluffed her hair, added extra lipstick, and went out the door. During the drive, she told herself how perfect she was for the job. She’d ace this interview. They were so lucky that she was going to start working with them.

Benjamin looked up as his secretary, Jess, led Pamela Grayson into his office. He saw a tall woman with dark hair that he could only describe as “poofy.” She was dressed in an ill-fitting skirt and blazer. Her lipstick was extremely bright, as was her blue eyeshadow and pink blush. She gave him a false, comically enthusiastic smile and said very loudly, “Well, hello! I am here for the interview!” she seemed to shout each word.

He blinked and tried to keep his facial expression neutral. “Hello…Ms. Grayson, correct?”

“Yes! Tis I! In the flesh!”

He raised his eyebrows and glanced momentarily at Jess, who only gave him a look that said “Good luck.” and then she fled the room as quietly and as efficiently as she did everything else.

“Please, have a seat.” He gestured to a chair with his hand. He sat down in his own chair slowly, bracing himself for whatever things this strange creature before him might do or say. He cleared his throat. “Thank you for coming in today.”

“No problem at all! I’m sure that I am qualified for the job.” She sat down, moved her shoulders a few times as if to settle into her seat, and then looked at Benjamin expectantly.

“Umm, well that is good to hear. I see on your resumé that you have experience with front desk work. Can you tell me about that?”

“Yes! Yes, I can! I will tell you anything you want to know!”

He had expected her to just go ahead and tell him, but after that response he was caught off guard. “Oh. Okay. Well, what were your duties?”

“I answered the phone. Always pleasantly. I transferred the call to the person the caller needed. I also greeted people when they came into the office. Brightly! Happily! Cheerfully! Because I believe in spreading cheer!” With this proclamation, she threw her arms in the air. “And,” she went on, “I believe in making people want to return!”

Benjamin said, “I see. But Ms. Grayson, this is a funeral home. We need someone who can be more…more subdued. The people who call us or come here are hurting.”

“Oh! I can do that! Look!” She stopped smiling and pursed her lips. She glared at him. She looked angry.

Benjamin looked quickly down at the paper in front of him. Though he’d already made his decision, he decided to just ask a few more questions and be done. He chose a few and then he said, “Well, thank you for meeting with me today. We have more people to interview, but we will let you know.”

“Oh, wonderful! Thank you! I am looking forward to working here and doing my very best!” She exclaimed all of this with a huge smile. She stood to go and aggressively thrust out her hand to shake his. He stood and extended his hand in return, grateful that the interview was over.

She left with a confident and exaggerated runway walk out of his office.

A few minutes later, he glanced up when he heard the familiar light tap on his door that Jess always gave before she entered his office. “Did you hire her?” she asked.

“Are you kidding? Of course not.” He looked at her warily. “Why?”

“Well, because after her interview, she asked where her desk would be. She told me that she required a coffee and bagel with cream cheese before starting her day and asked who it was that she needed to give that order to. Then she said that she had all kinds of ideas of how to redecorate the reception area, and that she was looking forward to discussing those details with me.”

“Well, don’t worry. You won’t be working together. She didn’t get the job.”

Back home, Pamela Grayson stood in front of the mirror. She gave herself a wide smile and said, “You, Pamela Grayson, are a winner!”

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