Disillusionment

I don't know people like I use to. I don't know myself like I use to. I've got loads of special interests, but not something that makes me stand out.

I love my family, I love the friends I made on my journey. But I am separated from them, I am not as close to them as I would like to be. I think that's why Sonic the Hedgehog appeals to me: Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy and co rely on each other due to their great friendship that I adore, but looking at Shadow, without those luxuries, there's great sadness that no one sees him for who he really is.

To participate in something is ideal. However, reality is supremely disappointing. I don't know anyone, besides one, maybe two persons' who is genuine towards me. A place to go for free well-being, never heard of it where would this be?

When I indulge in a movie or video game I enjoy, violence is not what burdens me most; lack of understanding does, whatever form it appears in and I notice more than I wish to admit. Fiction helps us resonate, relate and provides entertainment value. It's a whole different ball game when our differing opinions are not appreciated by one another, dividing us rather than uniting in peace.

That SHATTERS me! Still. I believe, I believe and believe some more... believing someone out there cares about me. But I don't know. That grey cloud continually lingers in the background of my memory.

I am 19 years old, I should be excited for my future, to see what I am capable of and for others too! Instead I'm left wondering where all the fun left my life.