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- Story Listed as: Fiction For Adults
- Theme: Drama / Human Interest
- Subject: Flash / Mini / Very Short
- Published: 09/24/2024
He ignored the phone when it rang. He continued to ignore it when it rang again.
He only glanced at the first two texts as they came in. He saw they were from different contacts.
- Hey, just checking in. Hope you had a good day. Call me.
- Coming to see you on Friday if you are feeling up to it!
But then, eleven minutes later, another text appeared.
- “Hey there. Chemo is in two days, right? Please let me know if you want me to sit with you or if you want me to pick you up.
He stared at the screen. It was the first time he’d stolen a phone. It had been so easy. She had set it down briefly while she was looking at scarves. And now he felt sick, because he knew why she had been looking at them. He went back to the store, keeping his hood up in an effort to hide his face. Heart pounding, he handed the phone to the cashier. He kept his eyes on the floor and was able to say only that it wasn’t his and that perhaps they could find the woman who lost it. He took two steps away, and then turned back, his head still down, as he was still unable to look at the cashier. “Tell her I’m sorry,” he said.
Text Messages(Marla)
He ignored the phone when it rang. He continued to ignore it when it rang again.
He only glanced at the first two texts as they came in. He saw they were from different contacts.
- Hey, just checking in. Hope you had a good day. Call me.
- Coming to see you on Friday if you are feeling up to it!
But then, eleven minutes later, another text appeared.
- “Hey there. Chemo is in two days, right? Please let me know if you want me to sit with you or if you want me to pick you up.
He stared at the screen. It was the first time he’d stolen a phone. It had been so easy. She had set it down briefly while she was looking at scarves. And now he felt sick, because he knew why she had been looking at them. He went back to the store, keeping his hood up in an effort to hide his face. Heart pounding, he handed the phone to the cashier. He kept his eyes on the floor and was able to say only that it wasn’t his and that perhaps they could find the woman who lost it. He took two steps away, and then turned back, his head still down, as he was still unable to look at the cashier. “Tell her I’m sorry,” he said.
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Shelly Garrod
09/27/2024That was a heart wrenching story Marla. Nice to see that the man had a conscious and knew he had to return the phone. Well done
Blessings, Shelly
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Marla
09/30/2024Thank you, Shelly!
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Denise Arnault
09/27/2024This was a good story.
I've been sitting here thinking of the people that I know who have endured chemo and it kept me away from the central message of your story for awhile.
I go along, telling everyone that most people are good, which I really believe, but sometimes it is hard to reconcile that with the reality of what many people do. Just like in your story "He" did something wrong, but he ending up doing the right thing. So he is good, but sometimes bad (who isn't--its all just in degrees). For such a good short story, this one really made me think a lot. Congrats on that!
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Marla
09/30/2024Thank for reading and commenting!
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Barry
09/25/2024Your short story fullfills all the basic requirements of first-class, topshelf fiction. You told a gut-wrenching good story. It was concise, clearly written and held my interest from begining to end. There was an originality sadly lacking in much contemporary fiction. I am sorry if I seem to be rambling disconnectedly, but I thought you might like to know the impact your wickedly clever story produced.
One last thing. The literary scholar, John Gardiner, in his book, On Moral Fiction, suggested that all writers should write from an ethical perspective. You did that here and in a poignant, empathetic style.
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Marla
09/25/2024Thank you, Barry. I had to go back and change things more than a few times. Your feedback is very much appreciated!
COMMENTS (3)