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- Story Listed as: Fiction For Adults
- Theme: Horror
- Subject: Creatures & Monsters
- Published: 10/14/2024
Shawn's Cabin
Born 1950, M, from Sparta, il, United StatesShawn had purchased the cabin two months ago. He and his wife had become empty nesters. Investing in a vacation home seemed to be the next step in their life. Shawn had purchased the property sight unseen. He took a virtual tour. His realtor had included information and photos of the cabin when it was new and what it looked like in its present state.
When I asked Shawn why he bought this cabin, he said “The price was right!”
His family had grown up and out of his home. Shawn and his wife now had the opportunity. I was invited to help him get it ready for his family.
The cabin was in an isolated wooded area several miles from the nearest town and had sat empty for years. The previous owners had big plans for the cabin and had just moved in. That was twenty years ago. The family has not been seen or heard from since.
There are many rumors about what happened at that place. Some say it was a visit from Jason. Some say it was a mysterious flesh-eating bacterium that found its way into the house. Still others talk about man-eating spiders.
Shawn was my friend, and I was confident he did the research on history of the cabin. So, I agreed to help him get his cabin ready for his family.
It was near dark when we arrived and too late to do anything but survey the building.
The place was overgrown with vegetation. But the building itself looked to be in decent shape considering how long it sat vacant. The structure reminded me of the Cartwright’s home from the Bonanza TV show.
After clearing away vegetation and the massive spider web covering the door, Shawn and I entered. At least the place had power. Shawn, obviously, had it turned on before we arrived. The room we entered was a giant open-concept area. We could see separate kitchen, dining, and family areas. The family area had a large stone fireplace. The next few minutes were spent accessing the work to do. The cabin still had most of the previous resident’s furniture.
Tomorrow was going to be a long day.
We would be spending a couple nights in the great room. It had a couple recliners and a rather large couch. The television still worked but our programing choices were rather limited. No cable only the stations the antenna would provide. And that was patchy.
We did, though, find a station showing a classic 50s Sci-fi horror movie called Tarantula. Actually, it was the only watchable option available. So we settled in with beers in hand. Shawn took the couch, and I settled into a recliner.
I think I may have had a problem with the three beers I drank and the giant meat-eating spider from outer space I was watching.
When the movie was over, Shawn spread his sleeping bag out on the couch and turned out the light. He was snoring a very few minutes later.
But not me. I had concerns! A few hours earlier, I had seen a vacant spider web at the door’s entrance. The alcohol and the spider movie were quite possibly affecting me.
The cabin was dark and quiet. My mind began to reflect on that empty web. Where was the spider? The web I saw looked recently vacated. Could its resident be looking for something? At least with the quiet, I believed I could hear its approach. Boy! The mind can do terrible things when it becomes altered!
Reluctantly, I feel asleep.
I awoke to the sounds of scratching. The sounds seemed to be coming from the couch. They were muffled, barely audible. Or at least, that’s what my sleepy brain was telling my ears they were hearing. I was facing the fireplace, so I couldn‘t be sure of what I thought I was hearing. I had to find out, so I turned toward the sounds. My heart stopped instantly.
I couldn’t help myself. I screamed like a banshee. What was left of Shawn was being sucked up into that giant spider’s mouth.
I somewhat regained my composure. I needed to think. Rescuing my friend was out of the question, now. To survive, I had to get out of there as quietly and quickly as possible. Hopefully, it wouldn’t see me and come after me.
But, my hopes were shattered. It was headed straight for me, a foot dangling from that thing’s mouth.
There was no way I could escape. No where to go!
I froze. I remember thinking, “This is really it. I’m going to die. What is death going to be like?”
A sticky leg from that freak spider was reaching for me. It would be just an instant now.
Suddenly my eyes popped open. It was pitch black, but yet I knew my eyes were open. My body was moving from side to side. I felt a hand pushing me from side to side. “Could it be Shawn’s? Are we in the spider’s belly?”
Then I heard what sounded like a man’s voice. It was barely audible. I couldn’t make out what he said, at first. But it sounded like “Are you OK?”
The pushing continued.
Then very quickly, everything came together. I heard Shawn, emphatically, but with great concern, say, “Pete, Are you OK? Wake up, Pete. You must be dreaming!”
Whew!! It was only a dream. But I wasn’t so sure I wanted to admit that to my buddy. The middle of the night was not the time to deal with the razzing the admission would bring on. And Shawn enjoyed razzing.
What do you do in a moment like that? Do you lie and say “Nothing’s wrong. You must be mistaken!” Do you tell the truth? “Yea man, I had a nightmare.” Or maybe you explain it away with some kind of plausible deniability. “It was all that beer, man. It made me have a bad dream.”
I chose plausible deniability.
My explanation was accepted. Shawn admitted the beer must have had an effect on him as well. I doubt, though, he had the same problems with his sleep. We talked a few more minutes and he went back to his couch. Snoring soon followed.
Shawn's Cabin(Ed DeRousse)
Shawn had purchased the cabin two months ago. He and his wife had become empty nesters. Investing in a vacation home seemed to be the next step in their life. Shawn had purchased the property sight unseen. He took a virtual tour. His realtor had included information and photos of the cabin when it was new and what it looked like in its present state.
When I asked Shawn why he bought this cabin, he said “The price was right!”
His family had grown up and out of his home. Shawn and his wife now had the opportunity. I was invited to help him get it ready for his family.
The cabin was in an isolated wooded area several miles from the nearest town and had sat empty for years. The previous owners had big plans for the cabin and had just moved in. That was twenty years ago. The family has not been seen or heard from since.
There are many rumors about what happened at that place. Some say it was a visit from Jason. Some say it was a mysterious flesh-eating bacterium that found its way into the house. Still others talk about man-eating spiders.
Shawn was my friend, and I was confident he did the research on history of the cabin. So, I agreed to help him get his cabin ready for his family.
It was near dark when we arrived and too late to do anything but survey the building.
The place was overgrown with vegetation. But the building itself looked to be in decent shape considering how long it sat vacant. The structure reminded me of the Cartwright’s home from the Bonanza TV show.
After clearing away vegetation and the massive spider web covering the door, Shawn and I entered. At least the place had power. Shawn, obviously, had it turned on before we arrived. The room we entered was a giant open-concept area. We could see separate kitchen, dining, and family areas. The family area had a large stone fireplace. The next few minutes were spent accessing the work to do. The cabin still had most of the previous resident’s furniture.
Tomorrow was going to be a long day.
We would be spending a couple nights in the great room. It had a couple recliners and a rather large couch. The television still worked but our programing choices were rather limited. No cable only the stations the antenna would provide. And that was patchy.
We did, though, find a station showing a classic 50s Sci-fi horror movie called Tarantula. Actually, it was the only watchable option available. So we settled in with beers in hand. Shawn took the couch, and I settled into a recliner.
I think I may have had a problem with the three beers I drank and the giant meat-eating spider from outer space I was watching.
When the movie was over, Shawn spread his sleeping bag out on the couch and turned out the light. He was snoring a very few minutes later.
But not me. I had concerns! A few hours earlier, I had seen a vacant spider web at the door’s entrance. The alcohol and the spider movie were quite possibly affecting me.
The cabin was dark and quiet. My mind began to reflect on that empty web. Where was the spider? The web I saw looked recently vacated. Could its resident be looking for something? At least with the quiet, I believed I could hear its approach. Boy! The mind can do terrible things when it becomes altered!
Reluctantly, I feel asleep.
I awoke to the sounds of scratching. The sounds seemed to be coming from the couch. They were muffled, barely audible. Or at least, that’s what my sleepy brain was telling my ears they were hearing. I was facing the fireplace, so I couldn‘t be sure of what I thought I was hearing. I had to find out, so I turned toward the sounds. My heart stopped instantly.
I couldn’t help myself. I screamed like a banshee. What was left of Shawn was being sucked up into that giant spider’s mouth.
I somewhat regained my composure. I needed to think. Rescuing my friend was out of the question, now. To survive, I had to get out of there as quietly and quickly as possible. Hopefully, it wouldn’t see me and come after me.
But, my hopes were shattered. It was headed straight for me, a foot dangling from that thing’s mouth.
There was no way I could escape. No where to go!
I froze. I remember thinking, “This is really it. I’m going to die. What is death going to be like?”
A sticky leg from that freak spider was reaching for me. It would be just an instant now.
Suddenly my eyes popped open. It was pitch black, but yet I knew my eyes were open. My body was moving from side to side. I felt a hand pushing me from side to side. “Could it be Shawn’s? Are we in the spider’s belly?”
Then I heard what sounded like a man’s voice. It was barely audible. I couldn’t make out what he said, at first. But it sounded like “Are you OK?”
The pushing continued.
Then very quickly, everything came together. I heard Shawn, emphatically, but with great concern, say, “Pete, Are you OK? Wake up, Pete. You must be dreaming!”
Whew!! It was only a dream. But I wasn’t so sure I wanted to admit that to my buddy. The middle of the night was not the time to deal with the razzing the admission would bring on. And Shawn enjoyed razzing.
What do you do in a moment like that? Do you lie and say “Nothing’s wrong. You must be mistaken!” Do you tell the truth? “Yea man, I had a nightmare.” Or maybe you explain it away with some kind of plausible deniability. “It was all that beer, man. It made me have a bad dream.”
I chose plausible deniability.
My explanation was accepted. Shawn admitted the beer must have had an effect on him as well. I doubt, though, he had the same problems with his sleep. We talked a few more minutes and he went back to his couch. Snoring soon followed.
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- 8
Alan gergen
10/22/2024Seems like a first draft. Lots of punctuation errors. The paragraphing is inconsistent and sporadic.
The story is a complete cliche of a horror story: cabin in the woods, abandonded for years, dark night, dream sequence and waking from the dream. A scream but then the need to be quiet so the spider doesn't see the protagonist.
Just not engaging or well told.
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Cheryl Ryan
10/21/2024This story is spooky. It also terrified me. The author described the dream as so real that you could believe it was happening in real life. I got scared at one point for Shawn.
Thank you for sharing!
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Ed DeRousse
10/21/2024Thank you for commenting. I was trying to visualize how this story would be seen on the 1950s black & white movie screen.
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Kanesha Andrews
10/21/2024From the moment where the character mentioned the name of the movie that he and his buddy were watching, I knew exactly where this story was going and I enjoyed it. Also congrats for being Short Story Star of the Day.
ReplyHelp Us Understand What's Happening
Ed DeRousse
10/21/2024Thank you for your comment. Glad you enjoyed it. I figured the movie title would be a hint as to where the story was going. The objective was to make the trip there entertaining.
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Denise Arnault
10/21/2024Well done! You gotta know that the last conversation was the real dream and more to follow...(evil laughter, heh heh heh). Good story for this time of the year.
ReplyHelp Us Understand What's Happening
Ed DeRousse
10/21/2024Thank you for commenting. Not a fun dream to have, but a fun one to write about.
COMMENTS (6)