Bob and Barbara After the Election(Martin Green) 2024B&BAfter
Bob and Barbara After the Election
Author’s Note: I give up. The goings-on post-election are too ridiculous to satirize. Here’s one last try.


It was the Sunday morning after the election. Bob and Barbara had finished their breakfasts and were in the living room with their coffees. Bob was reading the sports page and Barbara was reading the news section. “Hmm,” said Barbara. “It says here that women should withhold sex from their husbands who voted for you-know-who.”

“What!” said Bob, nearly jumping out of his chair and spilling his coffee. “That’s ridiculous. Besides, I didn’t actually vote for you-know-who. You remember we decided not to vote and sleep in.”

“Hmmm. That’s a technicality but don’t worry, I think it’s a silly idea, too. Let’s see. Women are also going to dress in black to show how they feel about the result. What do you think?”

“I don’t know. Are you going to?”

“No, I don’t think so. Black’s not really my color.”

“That’s good.”

“Oh, here’s something else. Biden should resign and let Kamala be the first woman president.”

“Now that’s a really silly idea.”

“Why? Don’t you think we should have a woman president?”

“It’s not that, but it should be someone the people voted for.”

“Yes, I think you’re right about that.”

“What other ridiculous things are in the paper?”

“Well, a bunch of celebrities are planning to leave the country in protest. Here’s one who says she feels sorry for ordinary people who can’t leave.”

“Did you ever call your Uncle Ed who went to Canada after Trump/Hillary?”

"No, I called but he was off on a hunting trip. Besides, you don’t really want to pack up and go to Canada, do you? We have our families here. We both have pretty good jobs. Why leave all that?”

“You’re right. Let’s stay put. But let’s not talk about politics any more. There must be more interesting things we can talk about.”

“You’re right. No more politics.” There was a pause. “I’ve been thinking of having a baby.”

“What!” said Bob, nearly jumping out of his chair and spilling his coffee.”

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