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- Story Listed as: True Life For Adults
- Theme: Drama / Human Interest
- Subject: Poems & Songs
- Published: 12/02/2024
Paternity Test
Born 1975, M, from Manchester, United KingdomI show my dad my new winter coat,
I raise my arms and turn 360
so he can see the back too.
He unzips it and peers inside
like a cop patting down a felon,
inspecting the coat like he’s buying a horse,
checking the teeth and hooves,
and the zip-up pockets.
I hand him my printed stories and poems
he puts his reading glasses on
and I’m twelve years old again
and he’s helping me with my maths homework.
I never could get the hang of maths,
words not numbers always came more easily.
He likes my story as it has a beginning,
a middle, and end, but we disagree
if a word should be one word,
two words or hyphenated.
Then comes the real test,
two glasses and a bottle of single malt whiskey.
We sip the fiery liquor,
sighing in delight as our throats burn.
We clink glasses, cheers!
Now this we can agree on.
Paternity Test(CPlatt)
I show my dad my new winter coat,
I raise my arms and turn 360
so he can see the back too.
He unzips it and peers inside
like a cop patting down a felon,
inspecting the coat like he’s buying a horse,
checking the teeth and hooves,
and the zip-up pockets.
I hand him my printed stories and poems
he puts his reading glasses on
and I’m twelve years old again
and he’s helping me with my maths homework.
I never could get the hang of maths,
words not numbers always came more easily.
He likes my story as it has a beginning,
a middle, and end, but we disagree
if a word should be one word,
two words or hyphenated.
Then comes the real test,
two glasses and a bottle of single malt whiskey.
We sip the fiery liquor,
sighing in delight as our throats burn.
We clink glasses, cheers!
Now this we can agree on.
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- 4
Barry
12/03/2024Quite clever and engaging. People who don't write or particularly value literature find it difficult to grasp how appreciative writers are when shairing or receiving meaningful feedback. Your stream of consciousness, metaphoric approach comes through loud and clear.
ReplyHelp Us Understand What's Happening
Barry
12/03/2024One thing I forgot to mention: I particularly like your storytelling approach. It reminds me of the Russian writers - Chekhov and Turgenev come to mind. They entertain the reader without academic pretense while saying something of intrinsic worth with a smidgen of gravitas thrown in for good measure. Please excuse my mental meanderings but I like to give credit where credit most definitely belongs.
Help Us Understand What's Happening
CPlatt
12/03/2024My dad is my alpha reader, if I've got that phrase right. He is the first to read and critique my stories, and it is so good to have someone to sit and talk about my stories with. Thanks as always for your comments, Barry. Really appreciated.
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