There Are No Miracles This Christmas

When I was younger, my parents and I rarely went to family gatherings. My Dad said he hated them and would always complain, so we stopped going.
My aunt Clair grabbed my face and kissed my head as soon as we walked in the door. She stood up straight and crossed her arms,
“Gosh, Cass, he’s gotten big!” She said, raising her eyebrows at Mom.
Mom made a face I knew as discomfort, I wasn’t sure if it was because she forgot how sweet my aunt was, or she didn't know what to say.
“Right...Why don’t you go find Chandler and Teddy?” Mom said, shoeing me away.
I took off my jacket and shoes and went into the living room.

The Christmas tree was already put up, as always. There were over a dozen presents under it, wrapped in a variety of wrapping paper.
Uncle Walker and Uncle Teegan stood in front of the tall tree, hands on their hips and broad smiles on their faces. They put up the tree every year, seeing as Grandma and Grandpa couldn’t do it themselves.
They always fought over how to position it and how to put the lights, but no matter what, it always looked good.

Uncle Walker looked down at me and put out his arm,
“Hey kid!” He said, putting a hand on my shoulder, “How are you?”
“Alright,” I shrugged.
“You like the tree this year?” Uncle Teegan asked, I nodded,
“I like it every year,” They both laughed.
I didn’t stay with them for too long, I continued looking for Chandler and Teddy. From what I understood, they were my second cousins. Their Mom was My mom and my aunt’s cousin. I didn’t really get that, so I just called them my cousins.
I didn’t understand much about my family, I didn’t know who was related by blood, or by marriage. I called every woman my aunt, and every man my Uncle, and it seemed to work out.

I walked into the kitchen and right up to Grandma,
“Hi Chrissy!” She began, putting her hand on the back of my head.
“Hi Grammy,” I smiled, “Have you seen Chandler and Teddy?” Grandma thought for a second, then nodded,
“I think they’re upstairs,” She said. I thanked her, gave her a hug and rushed towards the stairs.
Chandler and Teddy were upstairs in Grandma and Grandpa's room with another 'Uncle'. He was showing them games on the old computer. The room smelt of powdery perfumes and hair spray. I could tell the carpets had been freshly cleaned.

Over the next couple hours, we had gone down to the kitchen a handful of times. Apparently it was enough times to be scolded on how much pop we were drinking.
But I think my Dad was the one who needed to be scolded.
After a while of being in the bedroom, the three of us went down and told Grandma we were hungry. She had us sit in the dining room while she made us sandwiches and cucumber slices.
“How come our dad’s can drink as much as they want, but we can’t?” Teddy asked, sitting down,
“I dunno, but the water's getting a little boring,” I shook my head.
“Isn’t Christmas supposed to be a time of joy? How are we supposed to spread joy if we don’t have the energy?” Chandler asked, Teddy and I shrugged.

I told Teddy and Chandler to go back upstairs and I would take our plates to the kitchen. I put our plates on the counter and turned around, my Dad walked in and smiled at me.
“Hey kid!” He laughed, opening up his arms, I hugged him and gave a fake smile. “How’s it goin’ ?” I shrugged,
“Fine, Mum said we couldn’t have any more pop,” I said, trying to walk back to the hall.
Dad laughed, “She said something to me too, you ain’t gotta listen to her,” he waved his hand as he knelt down.
Dad’s words tripped over his tongue, he could hardly keep his eyes open and he kept chuckling, even if I didn’t say anything funny.
He held onto my arm, both to keep me there, and to keep himself stable. I kept trying to tell him Chandler and Teddy were waiting for me, but he would add on nonsense and laugh again.
Soon, Grandma came up behind us, “Alan! You leave this boy alone! Let him go back upstairs,” She flicked her hand towel at him and Dad let me go.
“What happened?” Teddy asked, holding out his hands, “That took forever!”
“My.. Dad wanted to talk to me,” I shook my head, trying to dismiss it.

Everyone always stayed late at holiday parties, usually until ten or eleven. Given all this time, they'd drink to their hearts content, then share their thoughts on other family members.
As the three of us sat still playing on the computer, we began to hear commotion from downstairs.
We slowly made our way down the stairs, Chandler going first, I followed behind him, and followed Teddy after me.
It was coming from the kitchen. The three of us poked our heads around the corner, trying hard not to get noticed.
Everyone crowded around my Dad and Uncle Teegan. My mom, Uncle Walker and my Aunt Alana were closest to the center.
None of us could hear what they were yelling about in between the pushing and shoving.
My Mom soon pushed through everyone and put her hands on her head, she didn’t seem to notice us. But she soon looked up.
“Oh, boys!” She cried, she then began to push us up the stairs.
My Mom closed the door to the bedroom and gave a deep sigh.
“What happened?” Teddy asked, clutching his hands together, my mom reached out and put her hand on the back of his head.
“Uncle Alan just got… A little angry,” She answered as Teddy began to sob.
Teddy’s first reaction to fighting was always to cry. He couldn’t stand people being aggressive or mean to each other.
Mom rubbed the back of Teddy’s head for a while, none of us said anything, only listened to the noise downstairs.

After a while, Teddy had stopped crying so hard and was down to sniffling. We heard footsteps come up the stairs, Teddy clenched my Mom’s shirt and winced. Chandler and I, who were on the bed, crawled back against the headboard.
The bedroom door flew open and banged against the wall, my Dad’s eyes were bloodshot, he was breathing heavily through his nose.
“Let’s go!” He yelled, narrowing his eyebrows. Teddy only tightened his grip and Mom turned her head.
“We’re not going with you!” She cried, Dad looked at me for a split second, then back at Mom.
Uncle Walker then came up behind Dad.
“Come on man, let’s go to a hotel, let them stay here,” He said in a calm tone. My dad looked back, still breathing heavily, he then pushed past him. We heard his heavy footsteps go down the stairs.
Uncle Walker ended up taking Dad to a hotel close by and the four of us went back downstairs.
Grandma hugged Chandler, Teddy, and I, she breathed deeply as she let go.
“I’m so sorry boys,” Uncle Teegan said, looking down.
Mom and I stayed the night at Grandma and Grandpa’s in the spare bedroom. Mom wrapped her arms around me and put her chin on the top of my head.
“I’m so sorry, baby,” She whined,
“It’s okay,” I said.

Grandma never sat down when we were having a meal, and no matter how many times we said we were ‘good’, she’d still bring more food.
When she brought the second round of bacon, there was a loud and hard knock on the door. Grandma turned and began to leave the kitchen, but Mom called her back and told her she’d get it.
I looked up as Mom came back into the kitchen, the same discomfort from the night before twisted her face. Dad followed in behind her.
No one said anything, Grandma stared at him for a few seconds before going to get another chair.
Dad breathed as he pulled the chair in. “I just.. Thought I’d join you guys for breakfast.” He looked around the table without a smile. I could tell he felt Grandma's disappointment.
I knew, even if Dad wasn’t there, we wouldn't have talked about the night before. There wasn’t even a word on how bad he scared Teddy. Not until we got into the car.
“Do you know how hard Teddy cried last night?!” Mom commanded, looking over to Dad, he sighed loudly, rolling his head around.
“No, because Walker pushed me out.”
“No he didn’t! you pushed past him and he took you to a hotel.”
They didn’t say anything after that, Dad couldn’t defend that.
I've heard people say it's good to try new things about a million times. well, going to a family gathering wasn't new, but I knew we'd never try it again.