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- Story Listed as: Fiction For Adults
- Theme: Love stories / Romance
- Subject: Poems & Songs
- Published: 12/27/2024
The Truth of my nights.
Born 1999, M, from Chennai, India.jpeg)
I spent my nights in Silence
Not the kind that comes from being at peace,
But the kind that comes from reminiscing, And
reliving the moments of us.
I spent my nights in my past
Revisiting our old messages,
Not because I can’t let go of the past
But just to be at a time when someone truly loved me.
I spent my nights in contemplation
Pondering what I could’ve done differently,
All the alternative futures flashing in my mind
While I barely hung to the pain of the present.
I spent my nights in a state of despondency
For I can no longer be a part of her life,
Not because I’m afraid of being alone, But
Because I can’t ask her how her day went.
I spent my nights wondering about her life
And I hoped it would be better without me in it,
Not that she ever made me feel so,
Though in my heart, I always knew that was the truth.
I spent my nights mending my broken heart
Pacifying it with harsh truths and realities.
For I had nothing to offer her except for my love,
And I was stuck with the eternal question, "Is my love good enough?”
I spent my nights imagining a future
A future where I am happy and loved,
But somehow it would seem that my pessimistic outlook on my life, Are
Far easier to imagine than optimistic ones.
I spent my nights in a state of loneliness
Accompanied by a pang of perpetual despair,
Because I have a desire to be loved, to be seen, And most of all
To be held in a warm embrace.
I spent my nights listening to songs that reflect my feelings
Finding myself living the lyrics,
Not because I want to bask in a rain of pain, But
Because it reminds me that once upon a time, someone loved me too.
I spent my nights fighting a sudden flurry of emotions
A feeling of angst, despair, love, heartbreak, And
Most of all, a desire for redemption
A desire to believe I too am worthy of being loved again.
I spent my night feeling anxious
Of the future, Of the past, Of the present, All at once.
With The ever increasing need for a shoulder to lean on, or a lap to cry on
While I fully know that my pillowcases are the only ones aware of my tears.
And very occasionally,
I spent my nights feeling hopeful and optimistic
That I too was worthy of being loved again.
I too was worthy of a love where I came home to a warm embrace,
And a time in future when I no longer need to rely on my pillowcases to wipe away my tears.
The Truth of my nights.(Vaibhav)
I spent my nights in Silence
Not the kind that comes from being at peace,
But the kind that comes from reminiscing, And
reliving the moments of us.
I spent my nights in my past
Revisiting our old messages,
Not because I can’t let go of the past
But just to be at a time when someone truly loved me.
I spent my nights in contemplation
Pondering what I could’ve done differently,
All the alternative futures flashing in my mind
While I barely hung to the pain of the present.
I spent my nights in a state of despondency
For I can no longer be a part of her life,
Not because I’m afraid of being alone, But
Because I can’t ask her how her day went.
I spent my nights wondering about her life
And I hoped it would be better without me in it,
Not that she ever made me feel so,
Though in my heart, I always knew that was the truth.
I spent my nights mending my broken heart
Pacifying it with harsh truths and realities.
For I had nothing to offer her except for my love,
And I was stuck with the eternal question, "Is my love good enough?”
I spent my nights imagining a future
A future where I am happy and loved,
But somehow it would seem that my pessimistic outlook on my life, Are
Far easier to imagine than optimistic ones.
I spent my nights in a state of loneliness
Accompanied by a pang of perpetual despair,
Because I have a desire to be loved, to be seen, And most of all
To be held in a warm embrace.
I spent my nights listening to songs that reflect my feelings
Finding myself living the lyrics,
Not because I want to bask in a rain of pain, But
Because it reminds me that once upon a time, someone loved me too.
I spent my nights fighting a sudden flurry of emotions
A feeling of angst, despair, love, heartbreak, And
Most of all, a desire for redemption
A desire to believe I too am worthy of being loved again.
I spent my night feeling anxious
Of the future, Of the past, Of the present, All at once.
With The ever increasing need for a shoulder to lean on, or a lap to cry on
While I fully know that my pillowcases are the only ones aware of my tears.
And very occasionally,
I spent my nights feeling hopeful and optimistic
That I too was worthy of being loved again.
I too was worthy of a love where I came home to a warm embrace,
And a time in future when I no longer need to rely on my pillowcases to wipe away my tears.
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Shelly Garrod
12/27/2024Very well-written Vaibhav. Each stanza is filled with raw emotions. Nice job. Thanks for sharing.
Blessings, Shelly
Help Us Understand What's Happening
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Vaibhav
12/27/2024Thank you Shelly for taking the time to leave a comment. Really appreciate it and I'm glad you liked it.
Best Wishes,
Vaibhav.A
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Barry
12/27/2024This is a very well-written, introspective poem. The final stanza save the narrative from being hopelessly bleak. There is always hope for better things to come. You definitely have that finely-tuned, 'poetic touch'.
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Vaibhav
12/27/2024Thank you for your kind words ,Barry. I'm glad you enjoyed reading it.
Best Wishes,
Vaibhav.A
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