Maryam Stories: The Beginning(Leila) The 9-year-old Maryam sat on the carpet, dissatisfied with the chore she was given. She stared at the large dresser in front of her, which her mother had insisted she clean it out as a part of spring cleaning, saying it was high time she learned some responsibility. But all Maryam felt was resentment for this tedious chore, and the order seemed oppressive.

She pulled open the first drawer, sending some dust into air. Inside, a jumble of items awaited her: old socks, her father's old shaving material, and expired cosmetics. The smell was funny, a testament to how long it had been since anyone had organized the drawer.

Maryam rummaged through, tossing out each item without care, not bothering to separate useful things from garbage and throwing the latter into the plastic bag her mother had given her. The more she dug, the more she found herself lost in a sea of forgotten items. It was like the dresser had swallowed a part of the family's past - a very disgusting part, she thought to herself.

Then, her hand hit something soft and plastic. Pulling it out, she found her old pacifier. The sight of it made her heart lurch with a mix of nostalgia and anger. She had cherished it once, a piece of her childhood that had been ripped away from her.

Back when Maryam was five, her mother had said she was too old for it, that it was time to grow up. But that hadn't stop Maryam from fighting tooth and nail to keep the pacifier. Until one day, her parents had told her that the pacifier was stolen by a sparrow. She yelled and cried for hours when she heard it, and her parents had a serious trouble putting her to sleep and making her forget about it in the following days.

But there it was, her pacifier, a testament to her parents' dishonesty, a reminder of the good old days.

Maryam, angry and determined, ran to her mother in the kitchen. "You liar!" she yelled, "You told me that my pacifier was stolen by a sparrow! But here it is!"

Her mother, startled by the outburst, turned from the stove, a spatula in her hand. She looked at the pacifier, which brought a big smile to her face. "Well, well, look what the cat dragged in," she said.

"You lied to me all these years! You had my pacifier!"

Her mother chuckled, setting down the spatula. "Maryam, darling, it's just a little white lie we told to help you move on. You were getting too old for it, and you wouldn't have liked it if we had just taken it away, would you?"

"But it was mine! You had no right to take it away! I'm keeping it, and if it's lost again, I know who to blame."

"Wait ... What?!" her mother asked in surprise, hardly stopping herself from bursting into laughter. "What are you going to do with it?"

"I'm going to suck it." Maryam said with the same angry and determined voice. "And I won't clean the dresser anymore ... not after I found out you are a liar!"

Her mother didn't know whether to laugh or scold her. "Maryam, you're nine now. That's not appropriate behavior for a young lady your age. You need to finish what you started and grow up."

"No! I won't finish it! And I won't grow up! I'm going to suck on this as much as I can to make up for all the years it was taken from me." she said angrily, as she put the pacifier in her mouth.

"Maryam, that thing is dirty, it hasn't been washed in years!"

But the pacifier was already in her mouth, and she was sucking on it, the sweet nostalgia flooding her senses. The taste was faintly dusty, but she didn't care.

Her mother sighed in disappointment. "Fine, keep it if it means that much to you. Just don't come crying to me if someone mocks you for it. It's not exactly the picture of maturity, is it?"

Maryam gave her an angry look in defiance as she continued to suck on her pacifier, feeling a strange comfort that she hadn't felt in years. She ran to her room, hugged her dolls, and never took the pacifier out of her mouth, no matter how much her parents tried to talk her out of it. She made a vow to herself to never grow up, and went to sleep with the pacifier in her mouth that night.

Eighteen years later, Maryam woke up in the same room. She put away the doll she had hugged during the night, and went to eat breakfast and get ready for work. Just as she was about to leave, she opened a drawer, and pulled out something she held very dear, putting it in her mouth.

Her mother saw her when passing by her door, a look of sadness and disappointment crossing her face. She had hoped Maryam would grow out of this phase many years ago, but it seemed like she was never going to. The pacifier was still a vital part of her life.

"Maryam, are you still doing that?" her mother asked, clearly sad from the sight.

Maryam turned to her, looking like everything was normal. The pacifier bulged in her cheek as she talked. "What? What's wrong with it?"

"You're twenty-seven now. It's time to let go of these childish things. You have a job, responsibilities. People will think you are strange if they see you like this."

"Oh yeah?" she asked, with the same anger and determination she had when she had just found her pacifier. "I think everyone who doesn't do it is strange!"

"God, when does this nightmare end?!" her mother yelled in anger, "If I knew it would last this long, I would have burned the pacifier, or even the whole house! I would have dedicated my life to training a sparrow to actually steal it! Why did I let this happen?!"

"You are just jealous that I'm happy ... that I still have my pacifier, but you don't."

"Maryam, happiness is not found in clinging to childish things. It's found in embracing life and moving forward."

"Oh yeah? Then how come I'm happy and you are not?"

Maryam's mother looked at her with sadness and exasperation. "Darling, I know you think this makes you happy, but trust me, there's so much more to life than a pacifier and childish stuff. You're an adult now, with your own life. Don't you want to experience all that life has to offer?"

"But how do they contradict with my pacifier? I can have all of them together."

"Maryam, life is full of choices. Sometimes, we have to let go of certain things to make room for growth and new experiences. Think about it, if you're always holding onto your past, how will you ever live in the present?"

"I can live in past, present and future at the same time. It's not my fault that your view is so limited."

Maryam's mother sighed heavily, realizing that she was going in circles, repeating the same arguments she had said since Maryam was nine years old. "You know what? Forget what I said. Just don't do it in public, until some idiot takes you away. I'm just going to pretend that this isn't happening!"

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