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- Story Listed as: True Life For Adults
- Theme: Family & Friends
- Subject: Aging / Maturity
- Published: 01/31/2025
Beautiful Chaos
Born 1980, F, from St Petersburg Florida, United StatesMy first memory of Aunt Mary is from Halloween, around 1983. She was putting makeup on my face for my Minnie Mouse costume and was telling me to hold still. 'Settle down you flibbety ibbity jibbit, it's not going to turn out nice for you to show Mrs. P.'
I scrunched up my face and made a disgusted noise. 'I don't want to go over there; she's just going to tell me to wipe that stupid shit off of my face.'
Mary stooped down to look me in the eyes hard. 'You're barely 3, where did you learn to talk like that?'
I pointed at her chest. 'From you.' and burst into giggles.
'Emmy Lou Martin Powers Pieczynski Jr’ She laughed and pulled me into a hug. 'You got me there!'
A few years went by and I remember she had taken the formidable task of taking out 6 children under 10 years old, on her own to Chuck E Cheese. I don’t know how she handled it; Randy was picking up dropped prize tickets, I was searching for treasures in the bottom of the ball pit (gross), Sam was asking the person in the mouse costume about their life decisions as a rat while Tony egged her on. Katie and Angela hid under the table planning a scheme to make Randy and me hand over our nightly findings and Nick was trying to break claw machines with Skee balls. To this day I have no idea how she successfully got us all back to her apartment, put on the Garbage Pail Kids Movie and got all of us to sleep. Pure magic.
A few years later my mom told me I was getting a surprise, and we made it into a game where I drew a picture every day and she would tell me if I was getting close. The drawing that I remember best was of an airplane saying that I was going to Hawaii with my little girl crush, Jay Underwood. She gave the drawing back to me with a note that said 'Close, but no cigar.' Two weeks later I was sitting on a plane with Aunt Mary headed to Colorado to see my cousins. I went to the bathroom on the plane and it was stocked with individual mini bars of soap, I grabbed all that I could and was chuffed to find an entire box in a cabinet under the sink, I tossed what I had into the box and brought it back to her triumphantly, dropping several bars into the aisle to a bemused audience. 'Look, Aunt Mare Mare, we'll never be dirty again!'
She snubbed out her Newport in the armrest ashtray quickly. 'Where did you get that?! You need to go put it back right now.' She got up from her seat and looked at the stray bars of soap littering the aisle. ‘Why?’ She walked me back to the bathroom picking up bars of soap and apologizing to other passengers and a flight attendant or 2 on the way. 'Jesus kid, where do you learn this stuff?' She asked me while putting the box of soap back in its place.
I laughed and pointed at her chest. 'From you.'
'Yeah, well don't do it again on this trip.'
Colorado was fun, one day it snowed 9 in in the morning and it was 70 degrees in the afternoon. We all walked around new housing developments and toured model houses, one of them had power wheels jeeps in them and Jenny, Jessie and me rode around the basement in them crashing into each other and howling like banshees with each collision. I would wake up every morning at 5am from our shard fold out couch in the living room and turn up the cartoons, Jem and the holograms, denver the last dinosaur, pinwheel, beverly hills high to maximum volume and gesticulate wildly to the songs. I probably woke up the whole house but Aunt Mary slept like a log and was not bothered at all by the noise. We flew back a week 2 later and there was no repeat of the soap incident.
I did take a photo that I have somewhere from that trip, with childish writing on the back dated April of 1988 that reads, Aunt Mary, my favorite aunt who moved to California.
Before she moved, she took all of us kids to the zoo, on her own, again blasting the Jackson 5 the whole way there. I recall that I was afraid of the shark exhibit that was under construction that had big coming soon stickers over a plywood wall. 'C'mon Em, it's not like they’re going to put Steelers Jerseys and Pirate hats on them and have the sharks walking around with everyone.'
I tried to picture a shark flopping around in a Bubby Brister jersey wearing a pirate hat and an eye patch, but it was too outlandish to process in my small brain. I laughed, ‘Yeah, that would be silly.’ My irrational fear was gone and soon forgotten about when Sam yelled in their shrill voice. ‘Look at this poopie Aunt Mar Mar!’
Good times.
Aunt Mary moved to California a few months later and I was heartbroken. Things hadn't been going well at home and she was one of my only solaces, picking me up from school when I was ‘sick’ on occasion and going out for ice cream, and taking me to stay at her place some weekends. She came by to say goodbye to me, and I was so upset that I wouldn't even leave my bed to talk to her.
'Emmy Lou Martin Powers Pieczynski Jr,' She sat on my bed. 'I'm not going to see you for a while, don't you want to give me a hug?'
'No. Take me with you.'
She frowned sadness in her eyes. 'You know I can't do that Em, but I'll be back to visit soon.'
'I don't care.' I muttered, back turned towards her and head buried in the pillow.
She stood up, 'You're so damn stubborn. Where did you learn that from?'
Silence
'I'm sorry.' She walked out the door and headed west to California.
I rolled onto my back to stare into space. 'Maybe one day, I'll leave this place too.' I thought as I stared at the familiar cracks in the paint on the ceiling. One of the cracks looked like a seagull and eventually I fell asleep dreaming of sunny skies and palm trees.
She called a few times over the years, but I was always in bed because of the time difference, what I do remember is a few sleep addled conversations discussing a random dream that I had just been having, or the odd mundane day at school.
Time marched on.
A year or 2 later I came home from school after a and my mom was holding a little baby. 'This is your new brother!'
I looked around at the dingy broken plywood furniture and stained moss green pile carpet from the 70's. 'Do we really need another one?'
Aunt Mary stepped out from behind a corner. 'Well, if it isn't my little Emmy Lou Martin Powers Pieczynski Jr, all grown up!'
'Aunt Mary, you came back!' I ran into her for a hug. 'Look at my new brother, I just got him today, like 2 minutes ago. Isn't he cool?'
She laughed, 'That's not your brother Em, that's your cousin Clayton, and you're the first cousin that he's ever met.'
I was ecstatic, 'Clayton, Clay Claty!' I grabbed Clay from my mom. and swung him around in the air. 'I love you little Claty forever and ever!'
My mom stepped in, 'Go easy Em, he's not a damn lawn dart.'
'Give it a few years,' Mary retorted as she plopped down on the couch. 'I'll toughen him up and then you'll be able to use him as a battering ram to break down doors.'
We all had a good laugh and left the past in the past.
Years went by, Mary moved from California to Virginia, the visits were more frequent but not quite up to the epic beautiful chaos of the early days when she lived nearby. I ended up moving to Florida when I was 23 and although we chatted on the phone from time to time, we were both doing our own thing in our lives and that was okay. We had both left PA for our own reasons and were perfectly content with hermiting away for a while. Our paths crossed occasionally at the odd family get together, reunions, birthday parties, weddings, funerals and we would always catch up and have a great time remembering our crazy adventures when I was a kid picking up as though no time had gone by at all.
When I had fistula surgery she called and said that now I was going to be the butt of all jokes; When I had a hysterectomy she told me to stop ovary-acting; When hurricane Milton came through, she called me and said that I needed to prepare for the biggest blow job of my life. She could always keep me laughing, even in the darkest moments and times of uncertainty.
Her health started to decline, and we all knew it was a matter of time.
I called her one night and she answered the phone, she sounded hoarse and very tired.
'Well, if it isn't Emmy Lou Martin Powers Pieczynski Jr, all grown up now. How are you doing honey?'
'I'm doing okay Aunt Mare Mare, I called to check up on you.'
She started to answer but Clay cut her off. 'How about Clay? Everyone always asks what Clay is doing, but not how Clay is doing!'
'Oh, blow it out your ass Clay, nobody asked you.' I bit my tongue. 'Sorry.'
They were both quiet for a second and then burst out laughing until she went into a coughing fit.
"Oh my god Em,' She managed between gasps of air. 'Who taught you how to talk like that?'
'You did.' I patted my chest just above my heart and fought back the tears.
A few weeks later my mom got all of her kids on a group call, letting us know that now would be the time to call if we needed to say anything.
I called her and left a message.
'Hi, this is Mary, I hear you calling but my phone is lost in my purse again. Leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I find the damn thing.'
Hey Aunt Mary, this is Emmy. I hope you find the damn thing, but if for some reason you don't, give Poppy and Grandma a hug, and smoke a J with Uncle Tom for me. I love you.'
There was no call back. That Monday morning must've been one of the happiest reunions in heaven because it sure felt like hell on earth.
About a week later there was a group call with my cousins Randy in Pittsburgh, Tony in Australia, and myself in Florida. We hadn't been together in the same room for 7 years but it felt like no time had passed. We talked for a good hour telling stories about Aunt Mare Mare, our lives today and cracking some of the dirtiest jokes that you ever heard in your life that I cannot repeat at this time.
If there's one thing that I leaned from all of this is that people come and go from our lifetime, but family bonds will always be there over time and distance, in the here and hereafter.
Beautiful Chaos(Emerald Gowers)
My first memory of Aunt Mary is from Halloween, around 1983. She was putting makeup on my face for my Minnie Mouse costume and was telling me to hold still. 'Settle down you flibbety ibbity jibbit, it's not going to turn out nice for you to show Mrs. P.'
I scrunched up my face and made a disgusted noise. 'I don't want to go over there; she's just going to tell me to wipe that stupid shit off of my face.'
Mary stooped down to look me in the eyes hard. 'You're barely 3, where did you learn to talk like that?'
I pointed at her chest. 'From you.' and burst into giggles.
'Emmy Lou Martin Powers Pieczynski Jr’ She laughed and pulled me into a hug. 'You got me there!'
A few years went by and I remember she had taken the formidable task of taking out 6 children under 10 years old, on her own to Chuck E Cheese. I don’t know how she handled it; Randy was picking up dropped prize tickets, I was searching for treasures in the bottom of the ball pit (gross), Sam was asking the person in the mouse costume about their life decisions as a rat while Tony egged her on. Katie and Angela hid under the table planning a scheme to make Randy and me hand over our nightly findings and Nick was trying to break claw machines with Skee balls. To this day I have no idea how she successfully got us all back to her apartment, put on the Garbage Pail Kids Movie and got all of us to sleep. Pure magic.
A few years later my mom told me I was getting a surprise, and we made it into a game where I drew a picture every day and she would tell me if I was getting close. The drawing that I remember best was of an airplane saying that I was going to Hawaii with my little girl crush, Jay Underwood. She gave the drawing back to me with a note that said 'Close, but no cigar.' Two weeks later I was sitting on a plane with Aunt Mary headed to Colorado to see my cousins. I went to the bathroom on the plane and it was stocked with individual mini bars of soap, I grabbed all that I could and was chuffed to find an entire box in a cabinet under the sink, I tossed what I had into the box and brought it back to her triumphantly, dropping several bars into the aisle to a bemused audience. 'Look, Aunt Mare Mare, we'll never be dirty again!'
She snubbed out her Newport in the armrest ashtray quickly. 'Where did you get that?! You need to go put it back right now.' She got up from her seat and looked at the stray bars of soap littering the aisle. ‘Why?’ She walked me back to the bathroom picking up bars of soap and apologizing to other passengers and a flight attendant or 2 on the way. 'Jesus kid, where do you learn this stuff?' She asked me while putting the box of soap back in its place.
I laughed and pointed at her chest. 'From you.'
'Yeah, well don't do it again on this trip.'
Colorado was fun, one day it snowed 9 in in the morning and it was 70 degrees in the afternoon. We all walked around new housing developments and toured model houses, one of them had power wheels jeeps in them and Jenny, Jessie and me rode around the basement in them crashing into each other and howling like banshees with each collision. I would wake up every morning at 5am from our shard fold out couch in the living room and turn up the cartoons, Jem and the holograms, denver the last dinosaur, pinwheel, beverly hills high to maximum volume and gesticulate wildly to the songs. I probably woke up the whole house but Aunt Mary slept like a log and was not bothered at all by the noise. We flew back a week 2 later and there was no repeat of the soap incident.
I did take a photo that I have somewhere from that trip, with childish writing on the back dated April of 1988 that reads, Aunt Mary, my favorite aunt who moved to California.
Before she moved, she took all of us kids to the zoo, on her own, again blasting the Jackson 5 the whole way there. I recall that I was afraid of the shark exhibit that was under construction that had big coming soon stickers over a plywood wall. 'C'mon Em, it's not like they’re going to put Steelers Jerseys and Pirate hats on them and have the sharks walking around with everyone.'
I tried to picture a shark flopping around in a Bubby Brister jersey wearing a pirate hat and an eye patch, but it was too outlandish to process in my small brain. I laughed, ‘Yeah, that would be silly.’ My irrational fear was gone and soon forgotten about when Sam yelled in their shrill voice. ‘Look at this poopie Aunt Mar Mar!’
Good times.
Aunt Mary moved to California a few months later and I was heartbroken. Things hadn't been going well at home and she was one of my only solaces, picking me up from school when I was ‘sick’ on occasion and going out for ice cream, and taking me to stay at her place some weekends. She came by to say goodbye to me, and I was so upset that I wouldn't even leave my bed to talk to her.
'Emmy Lou Martin Powers Pieczynski Jr,' She sat on my bed. 'I'm not going to see you for a while, don't you want to give me a hug?'
'No. Take me with you.'
She frowned sadness in her eyes. 'You know I can't do that Em, but I'll be back to visit soon.'
'I don't care.' I muttered, back turned towards her and head buried in the pillow.
She stood up, 'You're so damn stubborn. Where did you learn that from?'
Silence
'I'm sorry.' She walked out the door and headed west to California.
I rolled onto my back to stare into space. 'Maybe one day, I'll leave this place too.' I thought as I stared at the familiar cracks in the paint on the ceiling. One of the cracks looked like a seagull and eventually I fell asleep dreaming of sunny skies and palm trees.
She called a few times over the years, but I was always in bed because of the time difference, what I do remember is a few sleep addled conversations discussing a random dream that I had just been having, or the odd mundane day at school.
Time marched on.
A year or 2 later I came home from school after a and my mom was holding a little baby. 'This is your new brother!'
I looked around at the dingy broken plywood furniture and stained moss green pile carpet from the 70's. 'Do we really need another one?'
Aunt Mary stepped out from behind a corner. 'Well, if it isn't my little Emmy Lou Martin Powers Pieczynski Jr, all grown up!'
'Aunt Mary, you came back!' I ran into her for a hug. 'Look at my new brother, I just got him today, like 2 minutes ago. Isn't he cool?'
She laughed, 'That's not your brother Em, that's your cousin Clayton, and you're the first cousin that he's ever met.'
I was ecstatic, 'Clayton, Clay Claty!' I grabbed Clay from my mom. and swung him around in the air. 'I love you little Claty forever and ever!'
My mom stepped in, 'Go easy Em, he's not a damn lawn dart.'
'Give it a few years,' Mary retorted as she plopped down on the couch. 'I'll toughen him up and then you'll be able to use him as a battering ram to break down doors.'
We all had a good laugh and left the past in the past.
Years went by, Mary moved from California to Virginia, the visits were more frequent but not quite up to the epic beautiful chaos of the early days when she lived nearby. I ended up moving to Florida when I was 23 and although we chatted on the phone from time to time, we were both doing our own thing in our lives and that was okay. We had both left PA for our own reasons and were perfectly content with hermiting away for a while. Our paths crossed occasionally at the odd family get together, reunions, birthday parties, weddings, funerals and we would always catch up and have a great time remembering our crazy adventures when I was a kid picking up as though no time had gone by at all.
When I had fistula surgery she called and said that now I was going to be the butt of all jokes; When I had a hysterectomy she told me to stop ovary-acting; When hurricane Milton came through, she called me and said that I needed to prepare for the biggest blow job of my life. She could always keep me laughing, even in the darkest moments and times of uncertainty.
Her health started to decline, and we all knew it was a matter of time.
I called her one night and she answered the phone, she sounded hoarse and very tired.
'Well, if it isn't Emmy Lou Martin Powers Pieczynski Jr, all grown up now. How are you doing honey?'
'I'm doing okay Aunt Mare Mare, I called to check up on you.'
She started to answer but Clay cut her off. 'How about Clay? Everyone always asks what Clay is doing, but not how Clay is doing!'
'Oh, blow it out your ass Clay, nobody asked you.' I bit my tongue. 'Sorry.'
They were both quiet for a second and then burst out laughing until she went into a coughing fit.
"Oh my god Em,' She managed between gasps of air. 'Who taught you how to talk like that?'
'You did.' I patted my chest just above my heart and fought back the tears.
A few weeks later my mom got all of her kids on a group call, letting us know that now would be the time to call if we needed to say anything.
I called her and left a message.
'Hi, this is Mary, I hear you calling but my phone is lost in my purse again. Leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I find the damn thing.'
Hey Aunt Mary, this is Emmy. I hope you find the damn thing, but if for some reason you don't, give Poppy and Grandma a hug, and smoke a J with Uncle Tom for me. I love you.'
There was no call back. That Monday morning must've been one of the happiest reunions in heaven because it sure felt like hell on earth.
About a week later there was a group call with my cousins Randy in Pittsburgh, Tony in Australia, and myself in Florida. We hadn't been together in the same room for 7 years but it felt like no time had passed. We talked for a good hour telling stories about Aunt Mare Mare, our lives today and cracking some of the dirtiest jokes that you ever heard in your life that I cannot repeat at this time.
If there's one thing that I leaned from all of this is that people come and go from our lifetime, but family bonds will always be there over time and distance, in the here and hereafter.
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