M18-Love Is Only Love

It was the first Valentine’s Day since her husband, Kevin, had died, and Kathleen was spending it sitting in her comfortably overstuffed rocker watching the cardinals and chickadees vying for a space on the bird feeder filled with black oil sunflower seeds that she had placed on the tree limb outside the bay window of her living room.

She liked feeding the kind of birds which came to the sunflower seeds, and she enjoyed the flowers on the plants that sprouted from the seeds that fell to the ground. The industrious birds moved from out of sight, to perches nearby, to the feeder in a constant cycle of cooperative foraging.

Watching the birds interact brought to mind memories of her own long life. It sparked rumination regarding the nature of love, affection, cooperation and relationships. The birds took turns indulging their own selfish desires for substance intermixed with spending their energy in watching out for their fellows when it was their turn at the feeder.

The scene made her think of the companions that she had known in her life. Two stood out the most but many others had bit parts in the movies of her memories which played out in her mind’s eye.

One of the standouts was, of course, her first true love. The other was her husband of 32 years who had died six months ago. Kathleen let her mind drift over the differences of these two loves.

The first, Jack, was a Romeo and Juliette fling. Their families hated each other but the two teens did not care. The hormone driven intensity of first touches and first kisses overwhelmed their senses.

She thought of the brief stolen moments in a secluded room or in Jack’s car after a date. The pair never knew about the dark shapes of the ethereal Infidels slithering about taunting the two with words encouraging them to excess. Nor did either of them notice when Messenger Rachel would arrive invisibly to drive the Infidels away, to give the overheated pair a chance to remember their parent’s admonitions not to do something that they would later regret.

They, like most of humanity, did not know that ethereal entities such as Infidels and Messengers even existed. Infidels live to cause havoc and disruption to humans while Messengers are the opposite, striving to assist. Since both were almost always invisible, their existence was not widely known.

All of her friends spoke fondly of memories of their first love. Most seemed to value those experiences above all others.

The second member of this top two list, Kevin, was the true love of her life. He was not flashy, but he was kind and thoughtful and always there for her. Their love was not fueled by insistent hormones but by a deep understanding of each other’s wants and needs which only comes with years of shared experiences.

It was the thousands of little things resulting from true love that won out over the radiance of discovery of a first love.

Kevin always got up first. He was a morning person. He would make the coffee and catch up on the news. Then, when he heard her stirring, he would bring her a cup, no sugar and just a dash of cream, just the way she liked it. Kathleen would surprise him with Snickerdoodle cookies when he came home from one of his hobby meetings because she knew they were his favorite.

Often Messenger Rachel would drop by invisibly to encourage the couple. There were no longer any Infidels visiting them, the easily distracted beings having grown tired of failing to get either of the humans to do anything askance.

The list of small declarations of love between the two was practically endless. Each took the time to think about what the other wanted or needed. Their shared life may not have had moments of intense immediacy, but the comforting companionship coupled with spikes of excitement was even better. It had made every day Valentine's Day.

Yes, years and years of true love was far more fulfilling than weeks of first love. Still, no one would want to forego either experience.

These were the thoughts that flitted through her mind as Kathleen sat idly watching the birds. She smiled as she heard the final bars of a song from ‘Hello Dolly’ which was showing on the television across the room, “…Love is only love, … love is wonderful enough…”

Messenger Rachel, who had been watching her charge and reading her thoughts, whispered in Kathleen’s ear, ‘The story of your love for each other is not yet ended. You will see him again someday.’

Kathleen attributed the warm feeling of contentment which washed over her to her recent memories.