They say change is good, right?(Mary Worsley) It was 2021 and we were coming out of Covid, living with lockdown and restrictions, working from home and hoping our families would make it through without getting sick. The end was in sight. Restrictions had started to ease, the world was opening up, and we all wondered what “life after Covid” would look like?

Lockdown had given me pause for thought about my future. The friends I had lost, to Covid but also through other serious illnesses was a cruel reminder that sickness can hit anytime, our future is not guaranteed.

I had found a degree of peace not commuting every day and despite the limitations imposed on us all, I didn’t miss the hurly burly of the office. But then, as we were starting to return to some type of normality, redundancy loomed its head. I thought long and hard about whether I should take it, or look for another role inside the company. In light of the thoughts I had had during lockdown, it was very tempting to leave. I felt excited, nervous, worried. I knew that I no longer enjoyed my job, and redundancy meant I could take at least a year off, decide what I really wanted to do. But the thought of being ‘out of work’ scared me. I was sure I would need another job, how could I not work? I wasn’t ready for that yet.

I thought about how often are we defined by what we do. Without a job I felt lost. Redundancy is more acceptable now, but it still felt awkward. How to describe it externally? If asked about occupation I was at a loss. Was I out of work, redundant, between jobs? That being said, I decided to take the redundancy and leave.

I finished work in July, and relaxed, caught up with friends, did those jobs that have been hanging around for years. We went on several holidays. It felt decadent having days out during the week, not cramming everything into the weekends. I was having an exciting time, it felt like an extended summer holiday. Two months into my redundancy leave we got our long awaited for puppy. This was a steep learning curve, but I loved that I had time to spend with him, training, playing, helping him to explore the big wide world.

But I kept asking myself, “do I look for another job?” Will the novelty wear off after the summer and will I need to work, I wasn’t sure I was ready to give up the work life completely, I agonised over what I would do with my time.

Then, when I was least expecting it, another job opportunity came along. It was with a company I had worked with before as part of my previous role. I decided I really wanted the job and went for it. What was the worst that could happen? I was already planning a year out so nothing to lose, right?

I got the job! It was a new beginning, and after 4 months of being a ‘lady of leisure’ I was ready to start work again. I felt confident, happy to have negotiated a work from home pattern that suited me. I quickly got to know my colleagues even though we were all still working virtually. I established my own new ways of working, starting as I meant to go on. New routines around my life, my family, my little puppy who would join me in my home office while I worked, belly rubs on tap!

Starting my new job recreated that sense of belonging that I thought I needed. Now I had a place in the workforce again, a title, a status if you like. I realised I had not enjoyed my corporate job for a while. I was excited to see what adventures laid ahead, but it was scary, not knowing what was waiting for me around the corner. Having a job meant a degree of security (not total security, no such thing, I know that now).

Two years went by, and I continued to enjoy my new role. At home there were changes. My husband had taken redundancy/early retirement from the same company. I had my 55th birthday and could now take my company pension early (that was a big blow, how could I be old enough for that!). I started to see there actually is more to life than work! I longed for the luxury of time that I had experienced in the summer. Doing things at a more leisurely pace, taking long walks with my dog, breathing in the fresh air, appreciating the seasons, making memories. I started to feel now that I might actually be ready to take retirement.

We discussed it endlessly, did the figures, got the advice. Practically, it looked like I could retire early. Did I want to? This would not be holiday but potentially the rest of my life. Was giving up my job the right decision, what would I do with myself? But I also acknowledged nothing is forever and I could always get another job later if I felt the need.

Eventually I realised I had mentally moved from being scared of not having a job (yes, with hindsight I think I feared the unknown, fear of financial difficulties, fear of being bored) to realising life really can be too short not to enjoy it. Several good friends, some younger than me, had experienced serious illness. My husband and dog were off having adventures without me. I started to really think that there is more to life than work. I had always believed I would work to 65, now I questioned if that was really necessary. My husband wanted me to join him in the new world of retirement. Financially we could afford it. We would have enough to be comfortable. Our holidays are mostly UK because of our little dog, and we would hate to go away without him. We travelled a lot in our younger days so really don’t have a desire to see the world now.

So I took the plunge, it was the best decision for me, I have a new purpose. I no longer squeeze everything into the weekend. I am fitter, healthier, happier and ready for the next phase, exploring new hobbies and interests. We are happy to potter around at home, working on our allotment and my husband loves his arts and crafts. I am an avid reader, and I have taken up creative/fiction writing and one day will write that book. It took a while, but I am happy to sit and lose myself in a book or writing a story and not feel guilty that I’m not doing ‘proper’ work. There are still many things I want to do. I may not know what they all are yet, but I’m ready to grab opportunities with both hands whatever they may be, and I will enjoy the experience.

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