Zorg: and the day the World changed.(Kevin Hughes) “What seems to be the problem?”

The Entire Leadership of Earth was on what seemed to be the Largest Zoom Call…ever. Every country in the World was represented. All you had to do was look up. Up in the Sky, like it was the biggest (and best!) monitor ever, was a clear picture of all of the Leaders seated around a simple small table. A table where Zorg sat.

Zorg sat smiling, looking at the confused faces of the most powerful people on Earth. He waited. He knew it took Humans a while to process anything. Let alone an Alien sitting in a chair acting like he could care less.

And Zorg could literally... not care less. He didn’t like these Humans in the first place. What they did to each other routinely made him sick to his stomach. Okay, to be honest, he didn’t have a stomach, but the metaphor captured his feelings quite well. In fact, Zorg thought it was the height of Irony, that what Humans regularly did to one another was…well…inhumane.

War, deceit, power, lies, condescending idiots in positions of power or leadership. I mean even at the individual level, Humans had a knack for chipping away at someone’s self esteem, self image, or self control. Heck, they even belittle their children to show who is in control. Kindness and compassion are looked down on as “weaknesses”. It made a logical mind, like Zorg’s real in dismay. But he had a message to deliver, it as his job. He had done it before on many other planets. But none of them had this almost oxymoron like Social Contract that Humans seem to employ in their every day lives. Sigh.

He tuned back in to the silence surrounding his last question. He asked it again:

“I am not sure you understand. So let me ask you again: What seems to be the problem.”

Finally one of the Leaders was brave enough to voice what they were all thinking:

“It’s just that, well, you aren’t what we were expecting. I mean look at you. There is nothing scary or alien about you. We feel kind of foolish talking to you. It is hard for us to believe you could hurt any of us as individuals, let alone that you are powerful enough to wipe us all of the face of the planet.”

Zorg licked his lips. Which instead of infuriating these Humans, made their eyes grow wider. Apparently they had no clue what that part of his body language really meant. Granted he had studied all the Briefing Materials, but it didn’t include any information about what he looked like to a Human. So he asked outright:

“And what do I look like to you Humans? I mean that makes you so unafraid of me?”

Another voice spoke up. It was another Leader from one of their more Socially advanced Countries. It was female and is said:

“Well, mainly because you are so darn cute!”

Everywhere on Earth people joined in the laughter that was roaring from the Monitor in the Sky.

“Cute?”

With that Zorg lifted one of his very long legs, stretched it out towards his upper body and began licking his leg with long gentle swipes. A body motion that had made entire Armies Cower on is home world. And yet, these Humans seemed to relax even more.

“Yes. Cute. You look like a little kitten with soft white fur, black button eyes and it all I can do to keep myself from marching down there picking you up in my arms, and cuddling you.”

This time it was Zorg’s eyes that widened. Which caused the Humans to utter a soft sigh and plaster even softer smiles on their faces. Zorg wished he knew what the heck was going on.

“A kitten? I have no idea what that is. Can you show me?”

Hundreds of phones blew up with X, YouTube and other apps, showing Snow White kittens playing with yarn, chasing flashlight reflections, and being fed milk from tiny bottles. Instantly all those lovely photos and crushingly cute disarming videos were available to Zorg.

It took him a while to process. He sure didn’t see this coming.

So he answered his own question:

“Oh, I see the problem now. Hmmm? Give me time to think.”

He was surprised when he looked back up, to see all the Leaders of Earth chuckling. He made a noise when he was deep in thought. He always did. Nothing abnormal, or rare. A sound all of his Species made when thinking. But for some reason it had a calming effect on Humans!

“What is it now?”

Asked Zorg.

“You are purring! And it just sounds so lovely.”

Zorg’s back arched. His fluffy white fur puffed up too. And he hissed.

All of Humanity broke out laughing.

Zorg called for back up. A portal opened and hundreds of pure white kittens flooded into the room. All of them purring in unison. The Humans broke out clapping in delight.

Zorg gave up. This wasn’t going at all the way he had planned. And hundreds of his best shock troops flowing out of the portal didn’t scare the Humans at all. Just squeaks of delight and calls of : “Here kitty kitty.”

This was going to take longer than he thought. Almost all of his troops had been picked up, and were now getting their faces rubbed gently, or were held in such a way that their bellies could be rubbed.

Zorg finally gave in. He let that Female from the Far North pick him up, and once she started scratching his belly, he closed his eyes and purred. Because he was so deep in thought, his purr could be both felt and heard.

And what he was thinking was:

“Maybe this isn’t so bad after all."

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