I Wonder

I Wonder(Tammera) Do you ever wonder if anything you do matters? Do the things you say impact others? Or are you just another life, just another human that walks the earth, and eventually is a casualty of the war with time? So many questions like this float through the minds of people everyday. Often, though we go through life not caring if we do make an impact. We live our lives as if we have all eternity, when, in reality, life is much too short to go through it not caring. I used to believe that it didn't matter what I said, that people didn't listen, that they didn't care. But, this year I learned different, and that has changed the entire way I walk in this life. At the beginning of this year, I didn't stop to think if my words were hurting or helping people. I thought that since I didn't really care what people said, that others wouldn't care what I said. I was wrong, very wrong.
A very close friend of mine had drifted away from me, and our relationship became slightly strained. I thought that he and I would be best friends forever, and I tried to be friends with him again. He and I seemed to be getting along, but then suddenly, everything blew up in my face. Another close friend of mine found out that he had been spreading rumors about me. Saying that I was worthless, and that he wished we hadn't even met. He told people that I was saying hurtful things about them, things that I would never say about anyone. When I confronted him about these things, he admitted to it, apologized, and said he'd quit it. A few months later, he started talking to a girl that I know, and was telling people that she was his girlfriend. But, in private, when he and I were alone, he was constantly flirting with me, telling me I was the prettiest girl and that I was special. A few months later, he started flirting with my best friend, telling her the same things that he had told me. All while claiming to have a girlfriend. I'm still struggling with this problem, but I have learned through it all that my words and actions do count. That the things that I do and say to other people have an impact. That I should live my life as if I was being judged by the King of Kindness. To see other people for who they truly are, and not how they are labeled in today's society.