A Short and Shabby Silence

A Short and Shabby Silence(Kristin Dockar) A short and shabby silence
James and Claire sat together watching Eastenders. They were waiting for a heating engineer, Billy, to arrive to discuss fitting new radiators.
In truth both were bored to tears. James was wondering how soon he could get out and go to the pub. Claire was wishing time away so she could be on her own.
The doorbell rang. James stood up. ‘I’ll let him in’.
As the heating engineer walked into the living room, clipboard in hand, Claire looked up and said:
‘Hi Billy, coffee?’
‘Great’
‘Milk, two sugars, that’s right isn’t it?’
James swing round. ‘How do you know that? You’ve not met before’.
A silence filled the room.
James was puzzled. He was realising the heating engineer had not asked for directions to the house. He remembered that Claire had given him the phone number. Their address was a very difficult address to find, hidden up a lane with access across a farm yard.
James looked from one face to the other: ‘Well?’ he questioned.
Billy’s face was impassive. Claire looked horrified.
Like building with Lego, James began to fit pieces together.
Claire had told him she would find a heating engineer through Checkatrade. Then she told him she had told one of the Mum’s at the school gate about their heating problems and she had recommended someone and given Claire the phone number.
James had questioned the sudden interest in Claire going to a Pilates class every Thursday. He had never thought to ask where it was held, just assumed in the school hall. He had thought the timings were odd, 9 -11pm.
He remembered saying ‘That’s late for a class. Doesn’t the school care-taker mind?’
What a fool he was beginning to feel as the pieces started to clatter into place. Emotions welled up in him. Suddenly he realised that Billy was turning to leave.
With an almighty heave he threw himself across the room at him. Claire screamed as he raised his clenched fist.
A small voice broke through the mayhem.
‘Daddy, what’s wrong? Why are you trying to hit Billy?’
James turned. The three of them looked at 6-year-old Amy, standing in her pyjamas, clutching Bobbie her bedtime rabbit.
James stepped back. But not before registering that his daughter knew Billy.
‘Amy, it’s nothing, we’re only playing. We were just being silly’.
The silence in the room was profound.
Billy kept moving towards the door, always watchful of James’s next move.
‘I’ll go now’ he said quietly to Claire. He noted her fearful face. ‘You’ll be alright?’
‘Yes. I’ll call you later’.
James shrugged past them, picked up Amy and carried her upstairs back to bed and murmuring ‘Shall I read Guess How Much I Love You?’
Amy squealed. ‘Yes daddy, silly daddy, were you going to have a fight? Joe and Harry had a fight at school today. Miss Albright said they were silly boys. Were you and Billy going to be silly boys?’
James looked thoughtfully at his little daughter and said ‘Yes, I rather think we were going to be silly’.
Amy giggled and James pushed his face into her neck. He felt like sobbing.
Much later he came downstairs to find Claire sitting quietly on the sofa.
‘I’m sorry you had to find out like that’ she said calmly, and then she launched into a bitter attack.
‘You’ve turned into a complete pain. You show no interest in me or what I’m doing, as long as you’ve got clean clothes to wear and meals to eat on time. What century do you think this is?’
‘Oh it’s all my fault that you’ve totally betrayed us, our family’.
At that, Claire looked shocked and taken aback.
‘Because it’s not just me, it’s Amy as well’.
Claire gave a great, heaving sigh. ‘James, look at us. We don’t communicate anymore. We just exist in the same house. Yes, you’re jealous at the moment but we’ve disintegrated as a couple.’
James sat and listened. He was shocked at himself. He had never thought he could react with violence and he was honest enough to know that it wasn’t simply a reaction to discovering his wife was having an affair. It was a reaction to the disintegration of his relationship and the admission that this was now over and had been for a while.
He looked wearily at his wife. ‘Shall I go?’
‘No I’ll go. We need some space. Can you manage Amy?’
‘Of course’.
The silence was there again, and they both knew it was the end.
As the front door shut some time later after Claire had packed a few bits, James sat down and exhaled a long, long sigh.
Again he was honest enough to admit he felt relief.
The silence was there again but it was a peaceful silence.