Behavior and Bribes

“Find out what his currency is.”

This was spoken at our meeting, regarding a student who needed some extra direction with his behavior.

Translation - “Find out what it takes to bribe him.”

I sat silently and watched and listened as the others spoke, because my opinion would not likely be well received. I’ve seen this bribery in action, and I’m not in favor of it. And I’ve heard all the arguments to justify it, including changing the very meaning of what “fair” is.

Imagine for a moment a child who constantly jumps and hits classmates while walking down the hall. After a week or so of this, a staff member decides that if the child can make it through a day without doing that, he or she gets a reward. Take a moment to really think about that and the long-term consequences of it, and the ripple effect of it. A child is receiving a reward for doing what is expected of everyone. Read that line again if you need to. Unfortunately, what often happens is that the required “currency” works for only a short time. Quite soon, the price goes up and continues to do so. I’ve even heard of the idea of buying LEGOS for a student! That is not an inexpensive incentive.

Of course, the other students who are already doing what is expected, notice this. And they notice that they receive nothing as a reward for (and this is important) the same behavior. Trying to explain to children that yes, so-and-so gets a reward, and they don’t, is difficult. We can’t go into too much detail about why we are rewarding the child. Sometimes it’s just, “Yes, he gets a reward, because he has a hard time walking in line. You don’t have a hard time. We all need to support each other. Thank you for always walking in line and not hitting.” Even a small child can see that this is unjust.

This method has another significant drawback - it sets the bribed child up for unrealistic expectations. A bribed child may feel entitled to special treatment after receiving it year after year, and this can affect his or her attitude toward a job in adult years. Is bribery in school the best way to manage behavior? Is it loving to (potentially - please understand that I’m not claiming this as a blanket statement) set a child up for frustration and failure?

I don’t type this with the attitude of having all the answers. There are so many things that teachers can no longer do as far as consequences, and that is one reason that bribery is used. But I am expressing a concern about what our children will be like five or ten years from now, and I think it is important that adults take the time to really think about what children need long-term, and when I reflect on that, what comes to mind first is that we should strive to model what we want. So, let’s be mindful today of how we act, how we speak, and how we wait in line…even if we don't get a material prize.