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- Story Listed as: Fiction For Adults
- Theme: Family & Friends
- Subject: Seasonal / Holidays
- Published: 11/03/2025
Holiday Prankster
Born 1944, F, from Melbourne, FL, United States.jpeg)
Holiday Prankster
by
Valerie Allen
“Do I look alright?” Alissa looked at Randy and searched for reassurance. “I'm nervous about meeting your family.”
Seated in his car parked outside his mother's house, he turned to her. “You look fabulous and there's nothing to be nervous about. My mom loves having a crowd for the holidays. She cooks for an army, just in case someone extra shows up. Her favorite quote is, 'I'll just add another cup of water to the soup' and she doesn't skip a beat.”
Alissa glanced beyond the frost-covered windshield and pulled her wool coat tighter. Snow covered the walkway and small lights twinkled around the roof edge. “I'm worried they won't like me. What if I say or do the wrong thing?”
Randy ran his hand through his thick red hair and threw his head back with a loud laugh. “Not to worry about any of that. Our holiday dinner is a prime opportunity to banter back and forth. We insult each other right and left. It's all in fun.”
Her eyes widened. “Insulting each other? What kind of family do you have?”
He rested his hand on her knee. “It's all done with love. Just kidding around kind of comments. I think our family is like most families when they get together to share the love―and the food.”
“You can be sure I'm not getting involved in the family banter. I'm not clever enough to offer insults with love.”
“That's a good plan,” he said.
“What kind of insults do you think they might throw my way?”
“Not a one! They're so glad I found someone who will take me off their hands, they will adore you.”
“Is that supposed to be a compliment? What do they think is so bad about you?” She gave him a sideways look. “Is there something I should know?”
He shook his head and let out a deep sigh. “Don't even ask.”
“I'm asking. Please, tell me before I face the firing squad.”
“Well, once, and it really wasn't that bad but things got out of hand.” He smiled at her. “That's what happens when you get a bunch of relatives together, enjoying all that holiday cheer.”
“What the heck are you talking about?”
“It all started with rice pudding.”
She tilted her head to one side. “Rice pudding? I like rice pudding, especially when my mom cooked it with the raisins in it. What could be so bad about rice pudding?”
“You decide, but be prepared for the rice pudding comments. It was my worst sin and I've never been forgiven.”
“What did you do?”
“I didn't do anything! I was about 12. You know, just a 12-year-old kid acting stupid.”
“Does your family know you are 32 now? Are they still upset about whatever it was you said when you were 12? Holding a grudge are they?”
“No, not really. I'm the one on the guilt trip.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“I wish,” he said. At the memory, his face became somber and he slowly shook his head from side to side. “A few innocent words when I was a kid and it still haunts me.”
“Randy,” she said softly and gently turned his face toward her. “What could you have said when you were 12-years-old that could have been that terrible?”
“I didn't do anything terrible. I just made a wise crack. Everyone overreacted and things got out of hand. It ruined the holiday dinner for all of us―me, my sister, my parents, the aunts and uncles, all the cousins.”
“Randy, that was 20 years ago. Surely, everyone is over it by now.”
He leaned his head back against the head rest. “I was being a smart aleck and my sister panicked. She started crying and screaming until she couldn't breathe. Her face turned bright red and then it went ghost white. She fainted and hit her head on the table. She was bleeding. The aunts nearly tipped their chairs over, rushing to tend to her with smelling salts, cold packs, and pressure bandages. The cousins were talking about how many stitches she might need. My parents were debating whether to call an ambulance.”
“What happened next? Was your sister alright?”
“She was okay. She was a real drama queen―and still is. My father jerked me out of my chair so hard, I thought he pulled my shoulder out of its socket. He twirled me around so fast, I slammed into the pantry. Jars, cans, and all manner of boxes crashed down on me and the floor. Lots of noise between breaking glass, kids screaming, and the aunts arguing over first aid remedies. My elbow was bleeding and the aunts came running in my direction. I was scared to death. My mother was in tears and had to take to her bed.”
“You started that calamity with just a few words! Who knew you were such an influencer?”
He laughed out loud. “I guess you're right. These days I'd likely get an award for creating the funniest holiday video online.”
“You know Randy, those cousins of yours are also grown up now. Their children and your sister's children weren't even alive when all this happened. Why are you still punishing yourself after all these years?”
He frowned and jerked his face in her direction. “I'm not doing that!”
“Oh, yes you are. You feel ashamed and guilty. Let it go already.”
He took a deep breath and silently looked toward his parent's house. “Actually, it was funny now that I think about it.” He looked her, “Except for all the blood.”
“Are you sure you want to spend the holiday with your family?” she asked.
“Of course I'm sure.” He slapped his hand against the steering wheel. “Wouldn't want to miss it for the world. He ran his hand down the side of her face. “Thanks for listening to me going on with the nonsense about the rice pudding thing. I never spoke to anyone about it before.”
She reached for his hand. “You know, we drag these childhood events around with us for years. Fearful and unforgiving as when we were children. At some point we have to look at them again through our adult eyes.”
* * *
The food was hot and delicious. Thank yous went from one to the other. The rice pudding remarks and other family banter lead to blushing and laughter.
The meal went well and then came the acclaimed and fabulous rice pudding. It was served in the same super-sized crystal bowl of days gone by.
A moment of silence and then delight followed the presentation. The woos and ahs followed and resounding applause filled the room. All eyes mesmerized.
A small voice from one of the children rang out. “Grandma, what are those black things floating in the rice pudding?”
Randy winked at Alissa and grinned. He moved forward in his chair and whispered loud enough for all to hear. “Those are all the dead flies Grandma collected this week.”
#
Thank you for taking the time to read
Holiday Prankster
If you enjoyed it,
please consider telling your friends
and posting a review on
Amazon.com and other online sites.
Word-of-mouth referrals are
an author's best friend
and much appreciated.
~ ~ ~
About the Author
Valerie Allen, psychologist and author, writes fiction, nonfiction, short stories, and children's books. Her articles about mental health and parenting have been published nationwide. She has taught students in elementary school through post-graduate studies at various colleges and universities.
She lives in warm and sunny Florida where she enjoys fun with family and friends. She's all about good health and fitness activities. Also to her credit, she has learned many things about life and love while raising her six children!
~ ~ ~
Copyright Statement
Copyright © 2025 by Valerie Allen Amazon.com/dp/B0FYHS2WNH
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
For permissions requests, please contact the author at VAllenWriter@gmail.com
by
Valerie Allen
“Do I look alright?” Alissa looked at Randy and searched for reassurance. “I'm nervous about meeting your family.”
Seated in his car parked outside his mother's house, he turned to her. “You look fabulous and there's nothing to be nervous about. My mom loves having a crowd for the holidays. She cooks for an army, just in case someone extra shows up. Her favorite quote is, 'I'll just add another cup of water to the soup' and she doesn't skip a beat.”
Alissa glanced beyond the frost-covered windshield and pulled her wool coat tighter. Snow covered the walkway and small lights twinkled around the roof edge. “I'm worried they won't like me. What if I say or do the wrong thing?”
Randy ran his hand through his thick red hair and threw his head back with a loud laugh. “Not to worry about any of that. Our holiday dinner is a prime opportunity to banter back and forth. We insult each other right and left. It's all in fun.”
Her eyes widened. “Insulting each other? What kind of family do you have?”
He rested his hand on her knee. “It's all done with love. Just kidding around kind of comments. I think our family is like most families when they get together to share the love―and the food.”
“You can be sure I'm not getting involved in the family banter. I'm not clever enough to offer insults with love.”
“That's a good plan,” he said.
“What kind of insults do you think they might throw my way?”
“Not a one! They're so glad I found someone who will take me off their hands, they will adore you.”
“Is that supposed to be a compliment? What do they think is so bad about you?” She gave him a sideways look. “Is there something I should know?”
He shook his head and let out a deep sigh. “Don't even ask.”
“I'm asking. Please, tell me before I face the firing squad.”
“Well, once, and it really wasn't that bad but things got out of hand.” He smiled at her. “That's what happens when you get a bunch of relatives together, enjoying all that holiday cheer.”
“What the heck are you talking about?”
“It all started with rice pudding.”
She tilted her head to one side. “Rice pudding? I like rice pudding, especially when my mom cooked it with the raisins in it. What could be so bad about rice pudding?”
“You decide, but be prepared for the rice pudding comments. It was my worst sin and I've never been forgiven.”
“What did you do?”
“I didn't do anything! I was about 12. You know, just a 12-year-old kid acting stupid.”
“Does your family know you are 32 now? Are they still upset about whatever it was you said when you were 12? Holding a grudge are they?”
“No, not really. I'm the one on the guilt trip.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“I wish,” he said. At the memory, his face became somber and he slowly shook his head from side to side. “A few innocent words when I was a kid and it still haunts me.”
“Randy,” she said softly and gently turned his face toward her. “What could you have said when you were 12-years-old that could have been that terrible?”
“I didn't do anything terrible. I just made a wise crack. Everyone overreacted and things got out of hand. It ruined the holiday dinner for all of us―me, my sister, my parents, the aunts and uncles, all the cousins.”
“Randy, that was 20 years ago. Surely, everyone is over it by now.”
He leaned his head back against the head rest. “I was being a smart aleck and my sister panicked. She started crying and screaming until she couldn't breathe. Her face turned bright red and then it went ghost white. She fainted and hit her head on the table. She was bleeding. The aunts nearly tipped their chairs over, rushing to tend to her with smelling salts, cold packs, and pressure bandages. The cousins were talking about how many stitches she might need. My parents were debating whether to call an ambulance.”
“What happened next? Was your sister alright?”
“She was okay. She was a real drama queen―and still is. My father jerked me out of my chair so hard, I thought he pulled my shoulder out of its socket. He twirled me around so fast, I slammed into the pantry. Jars, cans, and all manner of boxes crashed down on me and the floor. Lots of noise between breaking glass, kids screaming, and the aunts arguing over first aid remedies. My elbow was bleeding and the aunts came running in my direction. I was scared to death. My mother was in tears and had to take to her bed.”
“You started that calamity with just a few words! Who knew you were such an influencer?”
He laughed out loud. “I guess you're right. These days I'd likely get an award for creating the funniest holiday video online.”
“You know Randy, those cousins of yours are also grown up now. Their children and your sister's children weren't even alive when all this happened. Why are you still punishing yourself after all these years?”
He frowned and jerked his face in her direction. “I'm not doing that!”
“Oh, yes you are. You feel ashamed and guilty. Let it go already.”
He took a deep breath and silently looked toward his parent's house. “Actually, it was funny now that I think about it.” He looked her, “Except for all the blood.”
“Are you sure you want to spend the holiday with your family?” she asked.
“Of course I'm sure.” He slapped his hand against the steering wheel. “Wouldn't want to miss it for the world. He ran his hand down the side of her face. “Thanks for listening to me going on with the nonsense about the rice pudding thing. I never spoke to anyone about it before.”
She reached for his hand. “You know, we drag these childhood events around with us for years. Fearful and unforgiving as when we were children. At some point we have to look at them again through our adult eyes.”
* * *
The food was hot and delicious. Thank yous went from one to the other. The rice pudding remarks and other family banter lead to blushing and laughter.
The meal went well and then came the acclaimed and fabulous rice pudding. It was served in the same super-sized crystal bowl of days gone by.
A moment of silence and then delight followed the presentation. The woos and ahs followed and resounding applause filled the room. All eyes mesmerized.
A small voice from one of the children rang out. “Grandma, what are those black things floating in the rice pudding?”
Randy winked at Alissa and grinned. He moved forward in his chair and whispered loud enough for all to hear. “Those are all the dead flies Grandma collected this week.”
#
Thank you for taking the time to read
Holiday Prankster
If you enjoyed it,
please consider telling your friends
and posting a review on
Amazon.com and other online sites.
Word-of-mouth referrals are
an author's best friend
and much appreciated.
~ ~ ~
About the Author
Valerie Allen, psychologist and author, writes fiction, nonfiction, short stories, and children's books. Her articles about mental health and parenting have been published nationwide. She has taught students in elementary school through post-graduate studies at various colleges and universities.
She lives in warm and sunny Florida where she enjoys fun with family and friends. She's all about good health and fitness activities. Also to her credit, she has learned many things about life and love while raising her six children!
~ ~ ~
Copyright Statement
Copyright © 2025 by Valerie Allen Amazon.com/dp/B0FYHS2WNH
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
For permissions requests, please contact the author at VAllenWriter@gmail.com
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