Eschew Iterative

Monday, the best day in the working week if you were to ask Jacob Humdrum. A man who works in an office with cubicles that are customisable to the extent of your area supervisor. In the case of Jacob, this didn't matter, getting his job done to its fullest. Then going home knowing he did his best.
Waking up at six in the morning, he got his clothes out of his hamper that he didn't put away yesterday and got into his car. The morning traffic being easy to dismiss as he looked for exit 101 and beside the ramp down was his office building. He exited his car and walked up the somewhat dirty stairs into his place of work. Only stopping his joyous stride to hold the entrance door open for the young lady behind him. Ms Victoria Grif, his area supervisor whose tired expression and weak smile made Jacob feel bad.
“Thank you Mr Humdrum” Victoria said blandly, she walked through the door as Jacob followed. Noticing this Victoria groaned and breathed, eyeing a small bandage on his arm from a cut the following weekend but never commenting on it.
“You know, you don't have to be here an hour and a half early right? Like I've said previously you won't be paid for said time and it's only mandatory for supervisors and managers.” Victoria grumbled, this speech never fully going through Jacob as his smile never wavered.
“I understand that Ms Grif, however how can I be my most efficient for the company if im not here doing my best as early as I can be” Jacob stated sort of robotically, though this wasn't the true intention of his early attendance she didn't need to know.
“And that's appreciated as always Mr Humdrum, the company thanks you for your dedication to your work ethic” Victoria said through a strained “made in a training video” smile before rolling her eyes and entering the second set of doors. Those words and knowing his attendance may award him one day fueled him through the corridor and up the stairs. His coworkers always took the elevator as their cubicles were on the eleventh floor, but Jacobs took the stairs, for better health and to wake him a little bit.
Though on days when this didn't work or even did, the finishing touch of his morning run was breakfast. Once on his desired floor, he walked through the door and made a swift right into the door that read Rec Room. Once inside, he walked to the counter beside the fridge. Above the microwave that had a sticky note attached where he got the first choice of their company issued box of donuts. Provided by a bakery down the road, grabbing a warm chocolate beaverian cream donut and starting the pot of coffee as he took his seat and let his coffee cool.
Looking into his satchel he found a prepacked lunch he made the day before, inside was a messy plate of mashed potatoes and some burnt porkchop. Noting that tomorrow's lunch won't be so disappointing as today's, planning what he would make when he got home. Maybe some pasta, he just got noodles to cook on the clock and though they may be a little expensive he found it worth it. Chicken parmesan is what he landed on as he finished his cooled off coffee and donut.
He then looked around pleased at the idea as last week's employee question of the week to promote “employee inclusiveness” was still on the whiteboard. The question asked for favorite flavors of cake, which Jacob agreed was vanilla, some said chocolate and standing out in sloppy writing, someone put pistachio which Jacob couldn't believe. The clock struck eight on the clock as the elevator across his floor dinged and a slew of people came out of it.
Jacobs loved a lot of things about his work, but the thing that made it all worthwhile was the people around him. The ones entering the Rec room looking tired or sluggish, some grabbing their head in a migraine from drinking the night before. All wishing him a good morning as a lucky few got their choice in their donuts and some not even getting any at all. In this Jacob wished he never ate his and offered a peace to everyone like bread and fish.
But he couldn't, so he walked out the rec room and into his cubicle. Noticing and taking some mental images of his neighboring cubicles and their pictures of family, some kids, some lovers. But all decorated in unique ways that Jacobs didn't match. The day he was given his job and the day he earned his cubicle, he kept it the same as that day. Bland, no pictures, no signs with semi threatening yet helpful sayings like hang in there. His Cubicle was unique in that way he realised, making his already joyful smile that much brighter.
So he started on his work, only stopping sometimes to stretch his arms after typing. He had a record in the floor of being able to type thirty lines of data in under ten seconds and today's numbers reflected that. A couple hours passed, Jacob finished lunch, and now was visiting the water machine next to the elevator. It then dinged and inside was the yawning, untucked shirt of one of his coworkers. Micheal Grif, one of the laziest men that Jacobs ever met, the solar opposite of him. Though that didn't bother Jacob today as he welcomed him in and offered him a cup of water.
“Morning man, hey… did you um.. Get that paperwork done for me” Micheal asked in a trance. He was referring to the paperwork given to Jacob the last hour of last friday. Which he finished this morning before doing his actual work.
“Yeah, I gotcha buddy, it's on my desk. In what can be considered your hand writing, no name on the name line and I highlighted where you have to sign so it's easier.” Jacob said, though he basically did what he felt was all of Micheals paperwork for him, seeing him and chatting with Micheal, or another human at all made it all worth it.
“Woah, thanks as always Jakey my man” Micheal said, raising his fist which Jacob once again did not return, who knows how many germs he held in that hand.
“Haha, one day you'll bump me bro” Micheal joked, walking away as Jacob followed him back to his desk where he took the papers and walked to the supervisors office. Jacob once upon a time did not understand why she kept him around. Always wanting for her employees to work harder and be better which she pushes like the bible in church on her biweekly meetings. Though that's when Jacob had learned that they were in fact siblings. Which Jacob found equal parts understanding, and infuriating at times. But now, Jacob didn't care, He had Micheal, Victoria, and people. And best of all, work. Meaningless, monotonous, and brain numbingly easy work to cycle through his day.
Once completed, he turned in the work to Victoria, on her desk she was making some call about funding which never spelt good for any employee who wasn't himself or Micheal. She then held the phone as someone on the other side spoke and she looked up from her call.
“Beautiful work as usual, I swear if I could get any other nut job to do as good of a job as you, my job wouldn't be so hard.”Victoria said, though usually bossy and alien to those around her, her human sometimes comes though every blue moon. This and her words made Jacob smile even wider, with kind words and appreciation from a bossy supervisor, comes the potential for a raise and maybe even his own office to invite his coworkers to hang out in. To visit him, to be near and with him for the sake of him. To change things around the office, for the betterment of his employees, and for the sake of them loving him.
Leaving his work he drove home and arrived at his home, dirtied from yesterday's Macabre Fiesta that he swiftly cleaned. Doing the dishes that held difficult char and burn marks from his guests contrived requests. But that didn't matter now, yesterday was yesterday. And today he was at work again, and the next day he would be again. All his coworkers, all his friends, could he call them that? Would be there. And hey, maybe a promotion to, Jacob jokingly thought as he wiped the drool from the wall clock on the floor and mopped around it. He then looked to find his once best friend and read it was a few hours till bed.
But he didn't worry about it like last time, he just smiled and remembered the dish he wanted to make for lunch tomorrow, as he got into his car, drove to the store, and bought the necessary ingredients. One trip back and making, eating, and storing his chicken parmesan later it was almost time for bed. He then walked to his fridge, putting away the packed lunch for tomorrow's great day as he rushed to bed, looked at his dented alarm clock which read 7:00pm and went to sleep. Because tomorrow was another amazing day.

Tuesday, not as good as monday but hey not everything can be. But all the same Jacob Humdrum woke up at 6:00am and again he grabbed his belongings and drove to work. From home to Exit 101 to the office building he loved so much. Once again he beat Ms Grif, opening the door for her as she walked in.
“Oh!” Ms Grif said, stopping at the door as she looked back to Jacob, a light bulb seeming to light as she vocally stopped herself.
“Mr Humdrum, may you assist me in something, I assure something in your future in your favor if you do!” She questioned, it was like getting a birthday present after cake as a child. Expected but all the same you get these jitters up and down your body exploding from excitement.
“Of course Ms Grif, what is it?” Jacob asked with a little too much enthusiasm. Though could you blame him? Working for this company for ten years and finally hearing some hope of a promotion you would be as enthusiastic to.
“Great!You see that red Chevy down there?” Victoria asked, looking down Jacob already knew she was talking about her red 2003 Chevrolet Impala which Jacob researched the best prices for replacement parts in case she ever needed said information. Jacob nodded as if he didn't do this however.
“In the back are some boxes full of supplies for an announcement later today, grab those and put them in my office please!” She said, without an acceptance response she walked through the door and into the elevator.
Jacob closed the door and walked to her car, opening the trunk to the car that smelled of stale or old coffee and dry paperwork to grab a box. There were only a few, neatly put into the trunk that both read, banisters and banners. Now Jacob felt as if he were in heaven, he had not seen a banister since one of his colleagues retired and another one after that for someone who got promoted to fill the spot. And if Jacob remembered correctly, which he always did especially with patterns, someone had just retired last week. So if this spelt the same word, then Jacob was truly excited.
So excited in fact he picked up both boxes,ran up the stairs to the building, opened the doors into the building with his foot hobbling back. Then, after a decision ran up the fire exit stairs and onto his floor. Which was actually hard to do with the added weight on his shoulders. He then opened the fire exit door to his floor and walked inside, this time instead of to his rec room, to the boss’s office and placed the boxes beside her desk.
“Did… Did you seriously just run those box’s all the way up here?” Victoria Grif asked at the door, Jacob must've missed her as he ran.
“Uh.. yes I did”
“And through the stairs…. You know we have an elevator right?” Ms Grif said Jacobs didn't wanna bore her with the explanation of his morning schedule having him run up them anyway for exercise.
“Uh.. yeah, but this seemed faster” Jacobs said, sounding more sheepish than he thought.
“Whatever.” Ms Victoria said, walking into her office, cup of coffee from the rec room in hand as Jacobs switched places and walked out. Exhausted from his run he walked into the rec room and placed his satchel down and his body onto the seat. After resting he walked to the donut box and found one of the two chocolate bavarian cream donuts taken. Jacob guessed from Victoria, and grabbed the second one, as well as a coffee and sat down. With Chicken parmesan being the lunch for the next two days, and his clean kitchen he thought of what to do when home. He decided to read as he walked out of the rec room and saw people start to enter the facility from the elevator. Which was strange as it only read seven twenty at this point.
“Great to see you guys, look we have till one to properly set this up, so just come by whenever and help me hang up the banisters in the meeting room. Don't worry about your work for today, I have it handled.” Ms Victoria said, looking towards Jacob as she said the last part. Jacob already knew this meant he had a few more pieces of paperwork given today, which was at this point Jacob found normal. Knowing what they were preparing for however, Jacob walked to Victoria’s office and waited instead of being slightly annoyed.
“Great to see you again Mr Humdrum, I have some paperwork for you to do special for me.” Ms Grif said, handing him the paperwork with a sticky note and a date of when it was due.
“Thank you, thank you so much” Jacobs said with a cheerful tone that replaced his monotone one when given this kinda work.
“Uhh, your welcome?” Ms Grif responded though confused as Jacobs took the paperwork. Walking the halls till he found his cubicle, placing the papers down, turning on his computer, and as it booted up. Kicked his feet like a child, excited for lunch to come. So much so he tried to distract himself from work just to expel this joy, looking at his calendar and finding a neat ex on every day except today. Tuesday, the day that may replace the best day of the week if today goes as Jacob thinks it will.
But he got back into his mindset, grabbing the paperwork full of dull silly numbers on tables, written by a six year old and needing to be put into a digital way. Today Jacob didn't mind the horrible writing, or the incorrectly placed numbers or margin. Or even the fact the person didn't put their name but their company employee code which ended Jacob in a twenty minute call of put on hold then talked to by someone miserable just to get a name. Because, today will be the last of him doing this, for others, for himself, and finally, he will get a new assignment. And maybe, more coworkers.
With the hopeful thoughts and his peers' paperwork completed, people entered the facility and started their day as did Jacob. His paperwork as usual was dull and monotonous, and today he found himself looking around his cubicle in thought and grabbing water from the water fountain. But all the same he got his work mostly done before lunch, he ate his yummy chicken parmesan for lunch, just waiting for the surprise meeting to officially start. But it never did.
Confused and a little heartbroken, Jacob returned to his cubicle and worked on his paperwork some more, finishing what felt like his hundredth page of the day before a whistle blared through the floor. Then the floor's intercom sounded its normal jingle before a voice spoke.
“To all employees of floor eleven. Please, walk into the meeting room besides my office, and Mr Humdrum. Please report to my office” Ms Grif said through the speaker above. Jacob’s smile returned as he stood high, walked to Ms Victoria's office and opened the door. She wore a party hat and beside the door was a vanilla cake which read “Happy promotion” in frosting with candles around it.
“Great, you're here. Listen, go to the elevator, wait for my idiot cousin and bring him, cant have him miss an all employee party” Victoria said, her unusually vulgar language being explainable in the joy on her face. Jacob nodded, remembering his meeting buddy role for Micheal as his breaths became even as he tried to act cool as he waited for the elevator. After a few minutes it opened to his floor, Jacobs wanted nothing more than to welcome him in and boast on his promotion he was about to receive but the pungent horrid smell of marijuana on Micheals lazy jacket stopped him dead.
“Hehehe, hey man!, You're just waiting for me at this point aint you, hehe, you must like me” Micheal said, laughing from the recent toke of the devils grass that stank on him and gave Jacob a headache. Yeah, sure bud. Was what he wanted to say but Jacob covered his nose and just waved his hand instead.
“Oh? Sure man, take me to neverland or whatever” Micheal said, they walked to the meeting room door and he let Micheal go in first. After all, he had to be part of the group that totally surprises Jacob for his promotion. And plus, getting away from his marijuana smell worked in his favor as well.
“SUPRISE!!!!!” The room erupted through a muffled door. Confused that it was Micheal and not Jacob, he realised as he was exposed to walk in to the room with him. Jacob mistakenly ruined the surprise that he already knew. But that didn't matter, he swiftly fixed his error by walking into the room as well.
Yellow streamers reading things like “you got promoted” and "congratulations" ran across the roof, tied to the tile borders above. The cake from before on in the center of the long meeting table as every seat held a napkin, paper plate and plastic utensils in front of them. The white board wrote that today's subject was promotion cheekily. And around his arms, was Victoria, congratulating him on his new promotion to assistant manager and his own office.
This is what Jacob walked into, watching Micheal being hugged, the coworkers he worked with cheering, some audible and others clapping for Micheal and his big break he deserved. But Jacob didn't think so, no. Jacob was angry. That anger cut through most of Victoria's speech she was giving about Micheal.
“Everyone who helped today, Thank you, and of course. We all must thank Micheal Grif, my Cousin, for his amazing work that he has done for the few months he's been with us. The decision to take our old colleagues' place was a hard one. But in the end, his work was spectacular in the time he did them. So everyone gives him another big round of applause.” Everyone clapped, after she was finished. Everyone except Jacob. Whose fist was balled and then released as Victoria looked to him.
“Mr Humdrum” Victoria said, "Maybe he was being promoted as well, " Jacob thought of the special honor from earlier that morning.
“As promised, would you please do me the special honor of cutting the cake after Micheal blew out the candles? No one is as neat and organized as you are.” Victoria said, stabbing the heart of Jacob as the last of the blood dripped out of it. Jacob wanted nothing more than to walk out of the room and go home, but he cleared his mind, for just a moment. Having people means that you will have bad days, so that's ok.
“Yes, of course Ms Grif, I would be delighted.” Jacob said, spacing his words and keeping a fake smile that mirrored early morning victorias well. So Jacob cut the cake, gave a piece to each of his colleagues who all gave thanks which raised Jacobs mood though slightly. Suddenly his nose was invaded as much as his ears as two spoons were clapped together as Micheal wrapped one of his weed stank arms around Jacob.
“Everyone!! I would like to say this!!!, or would I i dont know hehe. I wouldnt be the man I am, the writer I want to be or the.. Ehh, third thing that makes me smart and a hard worker without my bud Jamie Hitchcock!!!” Micheal said, slurring his words as he spoke, high and drunk was a new low for Micheal. So low in fact he didn't have the heart to correct him on getting his name wrong. The room cheered though it was very low, and awkward with employees returning back to their respective conversations. Jacob was too heartbroken then to realise what he had just admitted but worse of, there was no more cake left to fill the heart shaped hole in his chest. So he left the party early, returning to his cubicle, and working on his computer slouched.
“Hey, you left the party early and I got you something” A familiar feminine voice rang out, looking up Jacob found it was just Victoria, who held a slice of cake on top of a semi thick pile of paper. Placing both on his desk Jacob looked over and saw the pile of paper was of course, Michaels.
“Yeah, sorry I don't normally do the extra paperwork in the middle of work but it's not as much, and it's a sort of present for Micheal, everyone's pitching in. I hope you understand.” Victoria said, before walking away with more miniature piles of paperwork and the same fake friendly speech to his cubicle neighbors.
Jacob looked down to the paper and cake, slowly eating a slice of the semisweet pistachio cake before spitting it out and throwing it away. He didn't know what peeved him more, the fact it was that lazy man child who put that as his horrible flavor, or the fact he had enough time to either finish Micheal’s work or his own. Jacob remembered when he applied to this job while his family was still around and this situation was an interview question. He answered that he would finish his colleagues then find time to finish his own. Now he realised that it wasn't the best answer as he did just that and then found he didn't have much time to finish his own and leave for home on time. So an hour of overtime later he and his boss were the final ones in the building.
“Finally, I never expected you would be the last person to finish their work, usually it's… Nevermind. Anyways, whatever paperwork you haven't done just turn in tomorrow.” Victoria said as Jacob walked into her office, she was on her phone scrolling as different sounds played. And worse, that meant that Jacob was disappointed and or kept the boss here against her liking.
“Sorry Ms Grif. And I have gotten all of my work done today, here you are and have a great day.” Jacob said, placing the paperwork from this morning, Micheals portion, and his own on her desk.
“Goodness, you know you had a week for all of this right?” Victoria said, astonished and looking away from her phone as she looked at the now big stack of papers.
“Yes, but.. That's not my way” Jacob said, he never really chatted to Victoria on what was his way, but she was learning a lot on it today.
“Well, keep your way going and you may be the next person to promote Mr Humdrum” Victoria said, stabbing that stake into his heart ever so deeper.
Jacob drove home that day later than usual, not only from him leaving later but from the traffic that surrounded the bridge beside exit 101 having police swarm it and a car crashed into the side barrier. This spelled an annoying ride to work tomorrow but now it was just pushed in the back of his mind as he drove home. Arriving he placed his satchel on his couch for tomorrow and sat beside it.
Jacob had totally forgotten what he wanted to get done at home but it wasn't in his mind at this moment. Sadness kneaded his judgement, a little betrayal spread atop to help it rise with time, baked at 350 degrees, and left to sit out on the couch. Questions of why, when and what had happened at work being the dough of the issue. After the early mornings, unpaid hours, the extra work piled on. And they give the promotion to Micheal?
It seems as if you don't have to do anything except be high and oblivious to the job you were somehow given to get anything anymore. In that way, Jacob was jealous of Micheal, such a simple and easy life he lived. He didn't have to do much of anything, he gets rewarded for it. In this, Micheal was smarter than Jacob, finding a way for people to feel sorry enough for him to just give him things. Jacob thought, fist clenched, but he released his grip.
Jacob then laughed, grabbing his face as he realised he let anger get to him again. He then went over to the kitchen and took two pills, a smiley face on the pill container reminding him to smile. After which Jacobs body calmed down and he sat back down his couch, resting his eyes for a second as he breathed methodically.
Maybe Jacob didn't know the whole micheal, I mean he is Victoria's cousin so maybe he ran into an issue. Maybe an issue within the family or something medical. Though Jacob didn't know Micheal personally the way he smelled of weed and dried alcohol that he sometimes wore could be from addiction. Maybe he needs the raise to help him in some kinda rehab his cousin tryna get him through. Jacob then imagined Micheal in some kinda rehab, his chill nature with Jacob made him think he wouldn't put up much of a fight with any doctors but still the idea was amusing.
Jacob then wondered what he would do in that situation, surrounded by doctors, seemingly addicted or reliant on some drug, though Jacob knew his good nature wouldn't let him. And plus, he's smarter than Micheal so even if he was in a rehab center he would get out of it and be fine. With that thought ended Jacob reopened his eyes and looked at the clock, it read that it was almost time for bed, Jacob surprised, then rose hearing the ripping of his skin from his leather couch as he had just sat there for a few hours in contemplation. He then got into a change of clothes, setting his room up for the next day. Amazing as the last thought of him not getting the promotion following him to his dreams as he slept for the next day.

Wednesday, an ok day because it's halfway between the best day and the worst. Usually this would mean a negative look on the day and with yesterday's surprise promotion going to a lazy man such as Micheal Griff that would be correct but that still didn't stop Jacob Humdrum. The man had gotten up all the same at 6:30, got his last of his prepacked lunch and then took himself and his satchel to work.
Completely forgetting about the accident that had occurred yesterday Jacob took his normal route. Besides the normal morning heavy traffic Exit 101 wasn't yet closed though with the amount of broken barrier chunks still in the road Jacob assumed it would be soon. And considering the chunks were there at all it was the fault of lazy workers of his city that it wasn't shut down yet. Lazy like a certain someone Jacob tried his best not to think about but still held their place in his mind.
But he didn't let that totally unknown person stop him as he turned into the parking lot, walked up the stairs and once again met Ms Grif at the door, who looked even worse today. Not even a good morning that Jacob was accustomed to. He almost asked if she was alright but knew better than to. Once before he saw her in this state and asked if she was alright. She then glared at him and later that day screamed in his face about how no one should speak to her in this state which taught Jacob the lesson thoroughly.
So he let her through, jogging up the stairs to the eleventh floor beating Victoria's elevator and going into the rec room grabbing his chocolate bavarian cream donut and coffee as he sat down and tried to think of what to make for dinner. That thought was cut short as Victoria came into the rec room, grabbed the last bavarian chocolate cream donut and instead of walking out sat across from Jacob. They sat across from each other in silence before Jacob took a chance after a sip of coffee.
“Is everything alright Ms Grif? Did you have a bad meeting this morning?” Jacob asked, expecting a side eye and later a screaming match with him being the loser.
“No no, I'm just tired from yesterday's shift, that is all” Ms Grif said, lounging in her chair as she half laid on the table. Jacob was surprised to get any response but realised she had meant that staying late put her to this and panicked.
“Im sorry, I just didn't have enough time to do all my assignments and had to keep you later than you liked, im sorry” Jacob said sort of childishly, though he was more worried of losing his job with his coworkers than any pay cut.
“What?? No… no… Mr Humdrum, it's not your fault, I trust you enough to be left alone in the office, I had to stay for a meeting, which you came in before I had to leave for.” Ms Grif said, though sluggishly as if she was trying to wake herself with each word. Hearing this made Jacobs worries seize for a second as she finally stood up and walked away, thanking Jacob for the talk which went totally against her previous lesson.
Besides this the day started anew, Ms Grifs new found kinship being the only positive thing in Jacobs mind as he went to his desk as usual. What he didn't expect to find was possibly the reason for her kinship being a sort of thick folder on his desk with a sticky note on it. The note read that it has to be done by the end of the week with an added note in parenthesis that Jacob should “take his time and relax” under it.
But inside the folder that was something that Jacob couldn't understand. So he swiftly stood up and walked to his supervisor's office, knocking on the door before being let in. Ms Grif looked a lot better after her cup of coffee which made Jacob wonder if he had anything to contribute to that.
“How come I was given Micheals work again? Did I do something incorrect yesterday?” Jacob asked in confusion. Though he didn't see his penmanship on the papers at all it was in fact Jacobs work he was supposed to do and not his own.
“No no, it's not like that at all, it's just that Micheal isn't coming in today on account of his promotion yesterday, he was given today off as a kinda thank you from us.” Victoria Grif said. Yeah right, probably got drunk or high last night and was too out of it to come to work. Jacob thought angrily though kept it mostly inside, mostly.
“Is that alright?” Ms Grif broke the silence which made Jacob jump a bit.
“Yes, well of course. I just thought yesterday was his gift is all” Jacob said in the best voice he could muster.
“Why yes, you are correct that it was a gift from us as a floor, however not everyone has this folder that you do. Only you, me and two others hold this folder cause honestly I cant trust anyone else. And with how hard you all work anyway I thought It wouldn't hurt ya know?” Victoria said in a sort of joking manner.
Do I know? Why yes, I know that doesn't make any sense to have four people do one man's job, why if my brain wasn't so fast to realise you see me as a hard worker i would… Wait, she sees me as a hard worker. Jacob thought as she switched his attitude again. He then bowed unexpectedly and smiled.
“Well yes i guess that makes sense to me, Thank you for thinking of me as a hard worker and you'll have this on your desk by the end of the day” Jacob said walking out the door.
“Mr Humdrum, please look at your sticky note again please, the last thing I need is someone collapsing in the middle of their work shift” Victoria said which made Jacob laugh thinking it was a joke, though by the tone of her voice it wasn't. So Jacob left it at the laughter and walked out of her office and into his pew.
He started on his work and sadly on Michaels as well, the only positive being that he wouldn't be showing up today. Though really he just wanted to do poorly on this work on purpose to get Micheal in trouble but his hardworking heart wouldn't let him. Besides that Jacob couldn't put his finger on why but he thinks he would be the boasting type. And all this thought of micheal and his promotion that he didn't deserve hurt Jacob and his work flow so bad that he ended up not even being done with Micheals folder by the time lunch caught up to him.
Micheal then finished the page he was writing into the computer, stretching his hands and fingers as they ached from typing so much. Looked to his left and grabbed his satchel and opened it. The front pocket which was closed held his phone, wallet, car keys, and a knife for protection. Opening the inside was a small laptop, mouse, charger, and phone charger just in case his work computer had issues. And finally, in the front pocket of the inner satchel held a mini med kit and a container that held his lunch.
So he left his satchel there, walking to the rec room where strangely, laughter and jokes were heard throughout. It wasn't a big deal of course, sometimes the other guys went in there and watched football together or some other sport that Jacob couldn't make sense of. Though Jacob was invited to join he never allowed himself as he felt he would ruin the mood as a non social type.
But today's laughter was a lot different, in that it wasn't from the television or anything of the sort but from the smell was something all too familiar. The dank smell coming from the rec room was of course from Micheal who looked way different from his normal self. Normally he would wear a dirty unbuttoned collared shirt, stains of yesteryear's food or drink still on it. Some long jeans that held holes in them that Jacob constantly wanted to get him fired over.
But today, was an all new low as he was wearing a ripped arm pit hair revealing tank top, smaller than life gym shorts that made his boxers poke out from the bottom, and sandals with socks in them. Besides the fashion statement against god that he held there, Jacob wasn't annoyed at that, or even the fact that he smelled as if he hadn't showered in years. It was the fact he was there at all.
“So yeah, I'm not saying I deserved it after my time ive spent doing my work but, hey the good lord gives, but he takes it away eh?” Micheal joked, drinking from a metal container that read “stay hydrated” as if water ever went inside there. Jacob heard this as he walked into the rec room and traversed through the laughing men to the microwave.
“But in all seriousness y'all, I couldn't have done this, or gotten this promotion without all of you, so I decided to stop in today in my human clothes and thank you all. Though being in a room full of robots is hard to get emotion out of yah? Aint I right?” Micheal joked again, more laughing with agreement as Jacob put his chicken parmesan in the microwave and set it to heat up.
“Yep, a human and a bunch of robotic drones, hey and I feel bad, if I could I would let yall have the day off and do all your work myself” Micheal said in his normal voice gaining sympathy in the crowd. How could he do everyone's work if he couldn't even do his own Jacob thought but never pronounced his mind.
“But I best be on my way now to my friends as I…” Micheal stopped to smell the air for a moment, turning to Jacob and the microwave as he walked up to Jacob with a smile.
“Dude… what is that smell? Is that your lunch Jackal?” Micheal asked, he then walked to the microwave and opened it without letting Jacob answer.
“Brooooo Chicken Parmesean!!!! That's my favorite pasta like… ever!!.” Micheal said, fist bumping as he found what he believed to be his best treasure ever. He then looked to Jacob who was still, not expecting all the eyes on him for once, causing him to shrink as a smile grew wide on his face.
“Can I like… try a bite?” Micheal asked, sounding a bit more tame on the question than anything else. Really, Micheal could've asked for his whole wallet and keys from the attention Jacob was getting right now and he would've said yes.
“Dude!!! You're like, "My best friend ever and ever meeting buddy!” Micheal said his kind words and use of the F word falling on brightened ears as Micheal, grabbed one of the plastic forks from atop the microwave and taking a chunk out of Jacobs lunch and taking a bite, Chewing with his mouth open as he suddenly stopped, dropping the saliva filled fork onto the rest of the dish.
“Oh my god. I'm in heaven, someone please, hold this meal im… dying and leaving you all” Micheal said as he rushed the dish into one of his co workers arms and fell back. Smashing his head into the microwave and crashing into the floor with Micheal. With a crowd of gasp Victoria herself rushed into the room in a panic.
“What was that?? What? Oh for god sake! Micheal!! Get up right now and explain yourself!!” Victoria said, Micheal was currently crushed by a microwave that two others picked up as Jacob moved out of their way. Another man picking up Micheal as he grabbed his bleeding nose yet still giggled as he stood up.
“Sister…. You must try my brohams divine cuisine! It killed me and sent me to heaven I tell ya” Micheal said, grabbing Victoria by the shoulders and hugging her.
“FIrst, Micheal, take a shower or something you smell horrible, second I'm not your sister I'm your cousin, third what is a brougham and why did they feed you anything at all?” Victoria said in anger, Micheals only answer to this as his nose bled more and more was pointing to Jacob, this type of attention being more negative and having him shrink more and more. One of the guys gave him back his lunch as Micheal walked out of the rec room, Victoria keeping him upright as his nose got bandaged. The only one left in the room was Jacob, confused, embarrassed, and mostly annoyed by the whole ordeal.
He hadn't had that much attention ever so when everyone looked at Jacob, and the cheering, it made him feel like the king of the world. Then of course Micheal had to do something stupid while influencing Jacob and hurting himself. Jacobs fist clenched with rage before he declenched it as he felt his shoes crunch under his feet. Looking down he saw the glass of the microwave was shattered everywhere as well as blood. Jacob grabbed a broom from the supply closet on the other side of the fire exit stairs and cleaned the mess, using a mop on the blood.
Then he looked to see that lunch ended twenty minutes ago as he returned to his desk. He ate, with a new fork of course, as he worked and wondered if his coworkers angrily glared at him through the walls. Like how Victoria did that day when he learned his lesson to not ask how she was or as she was right now behind him. Jacob then turned in his chair, finding Victoria, and yes, with an angry glare in her eyes.
“Please see me in my office before you leave.” Was all Victoria said as she walked away and a door slammed beyond his wall. Jacob sighed, realising that it wasn't gonna be a nice chat like they had that same morning. So Jacob, now with worry and annoyance in his mind, worked throughout the day, getting Micheals file done, as well as his own, though he wanted to check it for mistakes before he turned it in. But he lost the time to do that, remembering to turn it in tomorrow. But he didn't need to think of that now, as Jacob stood up, filed in hand and walked to Ms Victoria Grifs office to see what had them meet.
“Good afternoon Ms Grif, what is it you have seen me for?” Jacob started, placing Micheals folder on the table and sitting down across from her. Victoria looked at the folder in front of her, then she picked it up and looked under it.
“Late week work jitters again Mr Humdrum?” Victoria asked, she asked him the same thing every week around this time, well either wednesday or thursday.
“Im afraid so, but you know I'll have it on your desk by the end of the week” Jacob said sort of koi, as if he felt dumb for explaining himself again.
“As you do Mr Humdrum, anyways that isn't the matter, I want to know, what happened to my cousin this afternoon? And what did you give him that sent him to heaven?” Victoria asked in an accusatory stature. Jacob feared what it entailed but decided to explain to her what had happened, leaving out the chicken parm that now sat in his trash can at his cubicle.
“Alright, that definitely sounds like Micheal, but you didn't tell me what it was he consumed, and may I remind you that poisoning or even distributing narcotics in my building is a serious crime that will have pushed tenfold against you if you lie?” Victoria said she looked to be on the brink of jumping across her desk and choking Jacob to death but her words cut deeper.
“Excuse me? Poisoning? It was your cousin who ate my food, if anything it would've been me poisoning myself! And no, it wasn't narcotics, goodness where could you even get something like that?” Jacob said he wasn't social as said before but he didn't like being accused either.
“Food? Oh please, I grew up with Micheal and no ‘food’ ever did that to him, I had to send him home via taxi after bandaging his nose up, so once again. Spare the formalities and tell me the truth Mr Humdrum. You're trying my patience thin” Victoria said, grabbing her arm rests. Jacob couldn't figure out how to better explain it than that, then realising what he had.
“It was food, and it was chicken parmesan, my lunch. I prepare my lunch and eat it every afternoon on my break. He asked me if he could try some and I let him, then he just fell over and said it was like tasting heaven” Jacob said, though this time sounding more cowardly than he liked.
“Oh yeah? And where is this chicken parmesan now? Lemme guess, in your cubicle or computer case you bring with you because you happened to not eat it today have you? I've seen this before on my floor Mr Humdrum” Victoria accused again.
Jacob was stunned, not knowing what to do. Because Jacob did in fact have the food in his trash, and he didn't in fact eat it because of Micheals saliva coating it. But he couldn't tell her that, that would be digging himself a deeper hole he couldn't now get out of. In this, he was doomed, and probably will be arrested or worse lose his jobs and his coworkers. That now hated him for poisoning Micheal the amazing. So he left nothing at all, maybe coming clean would be better, though he did not commit a crime , prison can't be bad, maybe he will meet nicer people. So yes, he will lie, maybe ricin or something. Weed probably, that's what he gave Micheal, and now he was going to speak the illegitimate truth.
“Hey! Lay your mystic hands off my brochaco, he didn't do nothing man, I was just playing around is all.” The drunken or high angelic voice of Micheal swerved into the room. The smell of him as well as he sat in the chair besides Jacobs.
“He fed me some yummy treats and then I fell over to make the guys laugh. Someone just put a microwave in my way, fire them!!” Micheal screamed, before laughing at the idea of a Microwave being fired. Or maybe just laughing Jacob couldn't tell.
“Wh- Seriously cousin? Food? Good god, you know I have to replace that microwave now, right? And I almost called the cops on one of my best employees.” Victoria yelled at Micheal who was in a different world than ours. She then squinted her eyes and pinched the brow of her nose before returning her gaze to Jacob.
“Please forgive me and my cousins' idiocy, if I could. I would have never gotten him that promotion and given it to someone like you Micheal. Goodness, you did excellent work and you can have an extension on your paperwork for the week as an apology.” Victoria said in her robotic way, Jacob just nodded and walked out the door, anger filled his heart that he was just so easily accused then let go, but he didn't think about it too much as he walked down the stairs and before he exited the building the elevator dangled behind him.
“Brochacho, wait up man.” Micheal blurted out, chasing after Jacob who had stopped at the door like requested. Jacob looked to the sun, asking it if he could stand another conversation with this man after today and the sun just looked back.
“Listen, im like, totally sorry about what happened today and uhh” Micheal thought for once before he spoke, though his apology fell on deaf ears Jacob let him finish.
“I'm having this party, on saturday, and uhh, I was wondering if you wanna come or something, there'll be cake and uh presents.. No wait that's for me hahaha” Micheal said, which Jacob found irritating, of course Micheal wasn't actually sorry, he just wanted Jacob to shower him like the others did earlier. Presents, for Micheal or really any adult, how childish of an idea is that. The closest thing of a present Micheal deserves is a job at all but no, he gets a promotion, more money, and yet expects me to give him a present? Jacob thought, trying his hardest not to clench his fist. Though looking at Micheals nose, he didn't think of rage too far, he was in pain from the microwave earlier, so Jacob was gonna let this silly idea slide just this once.
“Oh, sorry man, but I'm busy this Saturday. But what I'll do is see if I can change plans then maybe, but I doubt it.” Jacob Lied, he had no plans any weekend except for surviving till the next monday came. Micheal just looked on in what can only be described as a drunken confusion then a smile.
“That's a shame man, one less present for me I guess ha ha haaa” He fake laughed as he wobbled out of the building and into the passenger seat of Victorias, Chevrolet Impala and rightly passed out as he sat. Jacob just wondered how the man dressed himself in the morning as he drove home for the night.
Though Micheals words didn't fall on deaf ears as Jacobs mind raced in frustration of what he said. “One less present for me” rang in his mind over and over till it joined the rhythm of his car. Check his left mirror, right mirror, top mirror, think of what Micheal said. When he pulled into his apartment he walked in and threw his things on his couch and sat there for a moment. A frustrated mental image running in his mind.
How dare Micheal even invite Jacob, he had better things to do. And for such a selfish reason like a present, it was as if he didn't have any other reason to invite others. And plus, they worked the same job, and got paid the same so he knows what he gets paid. Jacob then realised that Micheal didn't work the same job anymore because of the promotion, and more money. More money he made than Jacob for doing nothing but being lazy and being rewarded for it. And even still he had the gall to ask him for a present?
In Jacobs opinion presents were only meant for children under the age of sixteen and that's it. The idea of wasting money on such things for adults who can buy them themselves was ridiculous and childish. Jacob worked hard for his money and didn't need to waste it on the likes of Micheal or anyone else for that matter. No matter how much his mind wanted to fight for Michael's word choice Jacobs subconscious wouldn't let it budge this time.
Speaking of wasting money, Jacob needed to run to the store and get the ingredients to make the dinner he didn't think to make because of Ms Grifs sudden outburst in the rec room earlier that morning. But Jacob was too frustrated to think of any good ideas so he gave up and decided to eat whatever was in his house instead.
After hours of looking in the fridge and pantry, finding nothing and returning to the couch to rethink. An endless cycle that made the lord above tick away but didn't end with anything in his stomach. So he decided to grab some things he found around from past meals and made a grilled cheese with a side of old left overs. Nothing to write home about but it was food at all. After eating he went to his room, the words of Micheal still doing its rounds as Jacob slept for the next day.

Thursday, the second worst day of the work week, is close to the weekend and always the day that bad news runs its rounds. Too late in the work week for anything major to be done but too early into the weekend to leave for vacation time without it being a violation. This week was no different when the bad news ran around Jacob today.
First of course being the lack of a lunch packed for the next day, he rushed into his freezer and grabbed some craveable treats he bought his brothers kids one time when they came in to visit him. Second being the drive to work being halted because of Exit 101 being worked on for repairs and wouldn't be done till next week. Lazy lazy stupid workers, Jacob thought in rash anger. He exited out to Exit 104 instead, found some backroad that held so many potholes it would better be considered a digging site than a road.
And with the third yet to come, arrived to work in Jacobs opinion thirty minutes late, or in reality only thirty minutes early. Some people arrived beside him, those who think they are the early birds but in reality never held a candle to Jacob. Jacob was better than them but now as sunk as low as them. Realising what sinking to their level meant he jumped out of his car, satchel in hand and rushed up the fire exit stairs. Passing some peers by the elevator as he dashed into the rec room.
Ignoring his coffee he swiftly opened the treasure chest and luckily found a bavarian cream donut waiting for him. The second one disappeared as it always did though Jacob never knew who else was an enjoyer of these balls of heaven. Once he wondered if it was a woman on the floor then quickly reminded himself that he wasn't built or deserving of love, and went back to his day.
Today being no different he brushed the worst of the day away and ate his donut and drank his coffee, thinking of the childish lunch he would enjoy later. That was of course before he looked over and saw that the microwave was still busted. More than likely from yesterday's escapades with Micheal, but that was something to be frustrated about later. Setting a pit in Jacobs semi empty stomach as he realised he wouldn't have lunch that day. He looked down to his donut and wished he had taken smaller bites before eating the last of it and taking his coffee to his cubicle.
In his cubicle today was just his folder which filled him with relief as he had some of the previous day's work still to complete. However this feeling left him as soon as it came as Victoria waltz over to Jacob, a basket in hand and leaned on his cubicle.
“Good morning Mr Humdrum, wonderful morning we're having eh?” Victoria said, despite the horrid morning he had he just simply drew a smile and nodded. Taking note of Victoria's strange positive demeanor this morning, he pushed the curiosity aside. Enjoying seeing her happy for once as it made Jacobs smile become real and the morning he had felt more bearable.
“Great to hear buddy! Now look, I know you've done a lot but..”Victoria started, Jacob knew to be suspicious. What is it this time you wish? More work, More time away from Jacob to do more important matters? Do you want me to give that ingrate more of my time and effort, heck he should take my paycheck too! Jacob thought but never said. His heart hurt from the betrayal that Victoria stabbed him with. The thoughts must've been visible as Victoria looked down.
“...and I promise it's not more work, but me and a few of the other employees thought of pitching in some money for him for one big present from all of us. Just a few dollars if you don't mind.” Victoria answered Jacobs' concern. And may he add was joking about the giving paycheck thing too. That's what the basket was for Jacob realised, more money taken out of our pockets for someone that will abandon us when it's convenient to them. But, Jacob's heart was still aflutter from Victoria's, rather fake, smile. This made Jacob sigh, wanting nothing more than to deny her request but the positive attention Jacob received held the leash to his collar.
“Yeah… sure. I can help with that of course”Jacob said, reaching into his satchel and grabbing his wallet, he found he held two fives, a twenty, and a fifty and handed her a five. Not enough to break the bank but not too little to look like a cheap jerk.
“Oh my? Really? Honestly, I didn't think you liked Micheal this much.” Victoria said,looking at the bill as if it were made of gold. And Jacob like he was some sort of angel sent to help her. This amount of positive attention resented Jacob's heart aflutter as his cheeks blushed.
“Why yes of course! It's my highest honor, and sure Micheal and I don't see on the same eye level but he's a good chap to me” Jacob said, his smile widening as if it were a Monday but still his guard stood as Victoria wasn't one for praise.
“Well thank you sir, this will get us most of the way there on our gift, I'll let Micheal know of your generous donation.” Victoria said, walking away from Jacobs desk, his heart slowing as his smile stayed. The morning may have been bad, but helping her and seeing her smile made it worth it. But… What did she mean by it would help them most of the way? It was only five dollars. Jacob thought as he realised what he must've done, rushing into his wallet, ripping it open like a butcher to a lamb and finding. Two fives, a twenty, and no fifty.
This, of course, enraged Jacob, letting his heart be toyed with by attention once again as he fell face first into his keyboard. Noting how the keys felt against his now bruising face as he realised what he had done. If he were a stronger man he would stand up and take that money back, stating it was a mistake. But his mind filled with Victoria's bright smile, the smile one could only give to a, and Jacob used the word lightly, Friend. So of course, he couldn't do it. Sighing as his mood returned to the one from this morning and started work on his computer.
Once lunch arrived he had realised he spent most of his morning mopping and dopping as everything happened around him on wasting the fifty dollars he just made back while mopping and dopping. He digressed as he stood up for lunch, walked to the rec room, and then remembered that he had no lunch. Just frozen food in a bag. He pondered on eating it but feared what it would bring him in the long run disease wise. He couldn't get sick, he needed to be in tip top shape or else nothing would get done around here. Still he sat in the rec room, day dreaming of the food he would have once he went home that day. Lunch was halfway done before Jacob smelled the aroma of a cooked meal, the heat following the smell as did Jacob as he saw two of his coworkers sitting in a cubicle and chatting.
Overhearing their conversation he found that they had heated up their food inside of Victoria's office as a sort of thank you to those who donated money. Well Jacob, still hung up on how much he spent, donated a lot of money, so how come he wasn't aware? Before lunch could end he walked into Victoria's office, she was sitting at her desk, counting bills. She then looked up with a sly grin as she sat up.
“Where were you in this morning's meeting?” Victoria had asked Jacob to be confused about any meeting this morning.
“There was a meeting this morning? I wasn't aware.. My apologies.” Jacob said, eyeing the microwave in her office as well as her.
“Well I should've told you this morning when you donated, the only person I didn't tell was… oh.. Were you the one who donated fifty dollars?” Victoria said, her stern demeanor shifting to a scrunched one. How dare she not remember what she had said to Jacob that same day. Jacob felt a little rage boil in his stomach where food was exposed to be.
“Yes, yes I was. Why?” Jacob asked, trying not to sound too accusatory but weaned some in by mistake.
“Well, the first donation was so large that the rest decided to donate a little but in exchange they would hold a meeting, deciding what to get Micheal.” Victoria said, a little sheepishly as her voice quieted down more and more as she spoke. She then stood tall once again about to say something then stopped herself.
“Well, my apologies but I wasn't informed, and what was it you were about to say?” Jacob said, truly he didn't care what it could have been, her unnatural childish movements not affecting Jacob today. As all he wanted was to use her microwave and be done with lunch as his stomach growled in frustration. But ever the nice man, he let her answer.
“I was gonna ask why didn't your meeting buddy grab you, but he couldn't I know that” Victoria had said. Meeting buddies was one of those safety precautions that was enforced about a month or two into Victoria being given the job. The idea was for everyone to have a meeting buddy so if you were sick or behind work someone could speak in your absence. While not getting in trouble for missing a meeting and still being informed of what happened in said meeting. The day of choosing everyone got to choose in a sort of school yard choice for freeze tag. Everyone picked someone, noone picked Jacob, nor Micheal as they were made partners by Victoria.
“Yes, that is the pickle, now, in that meeting did you discuss the use of your microwave for lunch because of ours being… out of order” Jacob angrily asked. Jacob thought of yesterday's escapades, if he was in a hospital, his blood pressure would've spiked.
“Oh! Yes, my apologies Mr Humdrum, you are welcomed to… it” She apologized, looking at her desk clock as her face held a blank expression. Jacob realised what it meant as he grabbed his phone from his satchel, turned it on, watched it boot up and saw it was five minutes past lunch time. He then looked up to Ms Victoria, like a street puppy does to a restaurant full of fat buffet enjoyers. The emotion drained as Victoria started to say something as he walked out her door. Betrayed, angry, sad, and now. Hungry.
If it weren't for the donut this morning, Jacob had wondered if he would be able to work today. He noted that his stomach growled every fifteen lines he inputted completed in his work. And with the fact he still had yesterday's and today's data to put in he knew it would be growling at least four hundred more times before the day was done. It growled a hundred times as people who finished their work early started to leave. Two hundred and seventy times as people who got there work at a normal time started to leave, and three hundred and thirteen times as his pace slowed from negative thoughts and the lazier coworkers left an hour later than the schedule said.
The only one left was Jacob, Victoria had come by around the two hundredth and eightieth stomach churning, rage creating growls and gave him a key to the building. At that point he grabbed his head, in his work alone and wishing someone else to be there. The only company being the elevator which dinged on occasion to show he at least wasn't the last in the building.
Then came time to leave, sluggish, hungry, and tired Micheal went down the elevator for once which took a millennium to arrive to him. Went to the bottom floor and walked out, expecting to see noone but instead, finding him. Micheal sat there, snoring uncontrollably loud as the lobbies magazine covered his face. Two others on the floor instead of the table beside the chair which his foot occupied. Jacob thought of kicking him, not awake but just kicking him for everything he put him through but he didn't have the brain power or due diligence to and instead moved his foot and replaced the magazines in their place.
Suddenly, as he was straightening the magazines the best his malnourished brain would let him, his arm was grabbed. Pulling away by habit pulled the now faceplanted Micheal off the sofa and into the floor. He giggled for a second and held his hand up for help. As if Jacob hasn't helped Micheal enough as of recently, but he digressed and lifted the boy up.
“Hehe, thanks man… What made you so looonnngggg?? Busy day?” Micheal asked, Jacob just looked at him, astonished he was here at all and for him of all people.
“Yes, you can say that. I may ask you the same question” Jacob brought back, noticing his surprisingly clean clothes now covered in drool from the nap he just took. Jacob reminded himself to wash his hand at home.
“Oh, brochaco, meeting buddy! I was waiting for you man.. Look, I know you said no, but my sis told me the donation you put in for my big gift and thought maybe you wanna come and partayyyy!!” Micheal said, his words danced around his vocal cords as Jacobs ears. Though Jacob didn't reciprocate the feeling back as he sighed and frowned.
“Well yes I did do that donation but-” Jacob said before being cut off.
“Oooooh yeah!! Since I gotchu here at home, what's the massive gift everyone's getting me?” Micheal asked interrupting him. Jacob with limited thinking power didn't know what to say, he wondered what fifty dollars and a bunch of fives could get anyone these days as a gift. It was too little money for a car but too much money for something like a card and money. He did note it was the right amount for one of those outrageous molds of plastics he got his brother's kids that ended up being thrown away but didn't think it relevant.
“I don't know dude. I wasn't invited to the meeting!” Jacob said, rarely the dude caller but there was truth in his words.
“Well why didn't your meeting buddy grab… Oh yeah!!” Micheal started to ask before correcting then laughing at himself. Jacob wondered how foolish one had to be to laugh at one self, or maybe by the smell of Micheal, high.
“ And besides that, I can't go to your party this weekend. Im sorry but im very busy” Jacob said, realising the dreaded weekend was coming ever closer. His heart twinged at the thought as he stepped beside Micheal and headed toward the door.
“Jacob!! Broski, look. I know I haven't been the coolest Brah in the world as of late. But it would mean a lot if you come by, just for a bi-.” Micheal said, as Jacob finished walking out the door. Jacob thought of turning back and listening more but his head and stomach churned to hard for him to respond in a nice way. So he walked to his car, drove his backroads which darkened as the sun left work on time. Unlike himself who now drove past the partying college students who kissed and held each other so grossly, though Jacob was jealous of them, it wasn't for love, it was for any kinship at all.
When he arrived at the apartment he looked to his lord, it read he must be in bed in four hours and that he had only time for food and a movie if he permitted. Instead, he threw his satchel onto the couch which bounced and landed on the floor. He grabbed some frozen goods from the freezer and microwaved them up. Eating them resulted in a full stomach, and enough energy for his brain to function properly as he turned on his tv and sat on his couch.
What a fool he was, accidentally giving up half his days to pay away to basically a bum. For thinking even for a second that he could ever have anyone, especially a friend in this world who looked to him positively. For mopping around most of the day, for missing that meeting about Micheal. Micheal.. It was his fault for all of this. If it weren't for him he would've had a full stomach sooner and would've made smarter decisions. If it werent for Micheal he wouldnt be in the strutt he would be now, and the gall to ambush him in the state he is now, block the entrance and try to force him into a party after stealing from him? Who does that? I mean seriously, the gall of some people.
Jacob and Micheal were in tandem in his mind, fighting each other ruthlessly over and over with Jacob being the victor, even in battles that he wouldn't win and some that were mistaken to be a battle at all. He did this so much in fact that he almost passed out from the thought of it, he finally opened his eyes after what felt like an hour or so of his struggles brought to life. His heart was still pounding with aggression as he looked at his tv's now blank screen, and the lord, who read it was time for bed.

Friday, the worst day of the week, you know who to ask and for this week's reason why. But every week was the same, something or someone did something to annoy or anger Jacob Humdrum, and because of that it was the worst. Micheal on the mind when he awoke, his back sore from passing out in rushed anger on the couch he grabbed his satchel from the floor and rushed out the door. Still in uniform and slightly smelling without a shower but it didn't matter as he had woken up late.
So he drove through traffic, passing exit 101 and going out of exit 104 and down the road turned digsite still held cars from the party the night before. The traffic reflecting this as snails were given the ability to cut Jacob off at this pace. Arriving to work the same time as his peers he rushed up the building stairs and fire exit to floor eleven and then into the rec room. Walking out of it was Victoria who bumped into him as she exited.
“Hey watch- Oh, hey Jacob, wow, you're late today” Victoria said, taking a bite out of one of the little heavens put on the earth. The Bavarian cream chocolate donut. His eyes pointed to it as she chewed then swallowed her bite. She must've been late as well, which meant the worse of his worries might be saved.
“I'm kidding of course, hope it doesn't become a normal thing Jacob, you're one of my best” Victoria said as she walked away, leaving a cup of coffee beside the table that Jacob normally sat on as he joined the opposite seat of the cup. Hoping the worse of the day was over he looked over and saw that the microwave was still busted. So no lunch that day but he could live with that, as he walked to the coffee machine, starting the first part of the most important meal of the day. Placing the cup down besides Victorias as he walked over to the donut box. Inside was a horror that he never wished upon his worst enemy. A box full of donuts, delicious in view but dangerous when you find the two missing spots in the box. Small delectable chocolate crumbs surrounding the chalk outline of the murder scene. The final stepping stone that would make any man resort to murder, a loss of a friend.
And the killer returned to the scene of the crime, grabbing her cup of joe witness she forgot. Victoria, standing there biting into the Chocolate bavarian cream donut, her second one, the one Jacob watched her take bite after bite of. Jacob let down that little heaven delight. But worse, leaving Jacob with nothing, no bavarian cream donut, no breakfast, no lunch for later, no anything.
“Oh sorry, these things are just so good, hope you don't mind I took the second one. Early bird gets the worm and all that haha” Victoria said in a surprisingly good mood. It seemed the old legend of not talking to someone after their cup of coffee was true. But that didn't matter now, Jacob stared at Victoria for what felt like a millenia, but really was only a few seconds.
“It's.. It's alright,” was all Jacob could recite as he grabbed his satchel and cup of coffee and walked to his cubicle. Not noticing the tail he wore as he sat down and once again saw another file other than his own. However smaller than the last two it bore the same weight and anger mentally.
“Yeah, hope you don't mind, it's just that Micheal has to stay home to plan for his party tomorrow and I thought his party guest of honor could help.. This way yeah” Victoria said, more glee in her voice than in the entirety of Jacob's body for the past few days. If he had the gal or stupid stupid luck Micheal had, he would return the folder to Victoria by slapping her with it. But that's not what he did, he just sighed and grumbled.
“Ok..” Jacob said, enough gruff in his voice for Victoria to not further question it, now, Jacob had to finish his work from yesterday, finish his work for today, and now, finish this extra work, for a man he hated and a party he didn't wanna go to. Jacob realised today was gonna suck as he looked around and saw his coworkers start their work, and Jacob was behind already.
That's not to say he did nothing, he didn't mope like yesterday, he actually did his work, though each type of the keys were like a stab into his heart. It wasn't about the donut, it was nice but he's gone a whole day without one before. It was the look in Victoria's eyes, the week he's had, and the week he will have in the next. He hated it, every second of typing and doing the same thing over and over.
His at home thoughts chaperoning him to work, the anger and rage catching a ride as he continued to type. The restless night, aching back, and horrid morning coming to mind. Jacob hated it here, he hated everyone around him. After everything he's done for them, for the company, all the time and effort to make sure everyone was ok and healthy. All the extra work, some days without pay, all the extra joy he brought to the office. And what does he get in return? Over and Over again? Nothing… and yet here he is, typing away at his computer,
Jacob was done, with everyone, with everything. So when the lunch announcement sounded, he knew what he had to do. First, he grabbed the folder of Michaelis he completed, and half of the work of his own, turned them into Victoria's desk for the day.
“I'll finish this Monday, but not today” was all he said as he walked out of the room and into the rec room, looking for his satchel he left there from this morning, finding it beside a newly furnished microwave. He must've missed it this morning as he grabbed the food from his satchel and found it pungent and smelly. He forgot to grab new food and apparently forgot to deposit his failed lunch from yesterday. Combining into a putrid smell that is from whatever was in the hotpocket. Nasty preservatives that he pushed the entire now disgusting lunch into the trash, contaminating the rec room as he left. Then walked to the elevator, took it down to the bottom floor and once he left it was as if he were in a nightmare. Because there was the biggest clown he'd ever seen at the bottom, surprisingly in a clown costume. Micheal.
“Hey broski!!! I'm Funny now!!!! Get it?? Haha” Micheal said, bouncing around and honking his nose. Jacob freaked out at this, not knowing if he was hallucinating or this was reality he was seeing. His breathing became heavy as his heart started to ache and pain. Whatever was happening Jacob couldn't handle it.
“Woah woah woah, I'm sorry man, look” Micheal said, stopping as his face became a frown. He wiped the makeup off his face and took off his nose. He then held his hands up as he looked to Jacob, but he wasn't doing so hot. Jacob's breathing still was rapid, the rage from inside him growing and clawing its way out his throat.
“Hey man, look, I know you probably didn't hear me yesterday, but please let me say it now. I'm sorry for how I've been, I wouldn't have gotten that promotion without you and I was celebrating too much in the heat of the moment, you deserve that promotion, and I wish I could just give it to yo-” Jacob started, his body sunken and sullen like Jacobs that same morning when he started. If Jacob was present he would have taken that apology to the bank but Jacob wasn't home.
“NO!, For the final time NO! You drunken fool!, I have had it up to here with your silly games and your stupid antics. God, I'm surprised you even are allowed to be near a building like this let alone be working here! I'm even more dumb because you got that promotion from MY work by the way. I don't know what force of the God of Time brought us together and to meet but I pray he lets me leave this hell I'm in. You are one of, if not the worst person I've ever had the misfortune of working with, I only do your work out of pity for you. And out of spite of myself!! SO NO I will not join you for a party, as I can barely stay here with you or any of those layabouts from floor eleven SIR!” Jacob said, his face red and rage filled as he left the building and sped towards home.
Arriving home so early wasn't something Jacob was used to, so when he had given himself the day to do what he wanted for once. He decided to spend it in thought, he then passed out a few times from frustration and again spent time in thought. The exhaustion taking his body, his motor functions failing him without food as he passed out one last time and fell asleep fully.


Saturday and Sunday are like yin and yang. If you were a college student at the party Jacob drove by a few days ago it would be a day for sin and another for forgiveness. If you were a construction worker working on exit 101 it would be a day of calming down after working sun baking labor, and another of mental preparation to do it five days in a row again. And for Jacob Humdrum, the days were the same. However, in this cycle everyone followed beside him, his was very different. Or maybe it was the only day written down and told in a story.
Saturday morning if you considered two in the morning a morning at all. Jacob found himself on the floor of his house in front of his television. A puddle of drool on the rug being his pillow and a shower to the sticky part of his hair and face. He was cursed under his breath by the feeling. He related this to Michael Thursday night as his rage filled him again and kicked his coffee table. The pain in his big toe shocked him to mostly consciousness as he realised his rage came from his stomach and not his mind.
He then walked towards his kitchen, opened the fridge and found nothing inside but a carton of milk and a few eggs. Though it was too dark for the outside to see, he imagined whoever looked through his second floor window saw a crazed man frying eggs. Shirtless, covered in his own spit, smelling horrid from a day and now two of not showering. Sweaty from rage, and wearing only shorts. Not the prettiest image, but it's what he realised he looked like.
His mind came back to him when he set the heat to high and the egg popped at him. The grease put burn marks on his stomach and spots of his hand that held the spatula. Without thinking he bounced back at this, slamming his back into the wall as the clock fell on his head from above. Grabbing both his arm and head he looked to see his egg on the floor and pan beside it.
That must've done some more damage than to his hand as tears started to well from Micheals eyes, his nose smelled of blood and his teeth grinded together and his rage was brought from him again. He grabbed the clock and slammed it onto the counter, ran over to his living room and flipped the coffee table. Tore at the couch seats that flew into the TV and knocked all the cushions to the ground. He ran towards the TV about to deliver the feelings he felt on the inside before he heard something amidst the chaos he created.
Jacob couldn't tell again if it was real or not, maybe the sound of his subconscious in the kitchen, maybe the sound of the last grain of food in his stomach finally disappearing. But he definitely heard it. It was a light buzzing coming from his kitchen. He moved to the island that was attached to the kitchen counter and scooted his sweaty body across it to look into the kitchen floor. He found the pan and egg on the floor but now a new intruder on top of the egg, a fly. Pulling his empty body up so he can sit on his island rather than just look over it.
He had an intruder in his home, and he needed to take care of it. Yes his mind must be coming back after malnutrition and he has the mind to take care of this, intruder this, fly. So he sprang into action, literally, as he jumped from the counter and stopped on the egg below. Slipping on the yolk and slamming his head on the counter behind him. His hearing started to ring and his vision blurry, but the fly was dead. He must be, the fly on my nose must be dead.
Up close the fly had several beads for eyes, two somewhat beautiful yet carefully crafted wings that allowed it to fly and small beady legs that stood on the bridge of Jacob's nose. He wondered in his dizziness and confusion why he would kill something so beautiful. But then realised it was alive, opening its hand and bringing it to his nose with force in prayer for his sins.
In seriousness he chased that fly all morning and in the afternoon, the fly dodged and weaved around Jacob as he smashed almost everything in his path just to get at it. Finding a kitchen knife in his rampage he took it in stride. Moving it through the air gently like a brush on a canvas to not repeat past mistakes. Though mistakes in what the canvas he tried to paint fell through again as the couch cushions took a blow. The walls scratched with the blade's edge and even the tv was close to being ended a few times through.
Though the worst of it ended once he went into his bedroom, stabbing his lower mattress and looking at the alarm clock that the fly landed upon. The fly must've been tired by now, and was hiding within the blackness of the alarm clock. The alarm clocks bright red screen mocked his rage as he took the knife and stabbed it into the clock. Showing it who's boss. Feeling a slight shock as he pulled the knife out he dropped it to the floor, the fly disappeared and his whole body in pain from the jolt. He would've sat there and wallowed if not for the noise in the next room. As the lord had arrived, and made his presence known with a gong.
Letting go of his arm and placing it in his hand Jacob kneeled and crawled to the lord's presence. He played a tune to Jacob like he always did at this time of day. He thanked it for making him sane, and for reminding him that the time for flumber is soon. He crawled to his lord and picked him up from the bed of marble, hanging him into the wall above the kitchen in his excellence.
“Forgive me lord, for the bump on my head was caused by the heat clan you watch over, I know. Up there your way is just and that I will never understand why you stay. But for it I thank you” Jacob said, reopening his arms and eyes to the clock above. It read that he wasted the day away trying to kill a fly and had wasted his day away. He then looked around, in a sort of repentance.
People repented for their actions right? Well his repent came in the form of surprise as he found the couch’s stuffing all over the floor, scratches lines the walls and furniture. And worse yet his alarm clock, the idol of the lord crucified by his own hands. Jacob then looked up to the lord, its first hand pointing just shy of the six slices into his couch as his second hand pointed down to Jacob in shame.
“I'm sorry my lord, I don't know what I do, but it's from this man, this man I hate with my heart and soul, What should I do lord? Please bring me a sign” Jacob begged the lord above. It responded in the only answer that made sense. Once its second hand pointed away from Jacob, the first moved further away from the sixth. Watching closely for a while he watched as he was pointed towards them away again, and once again. It went further away from the six and that's when it all made sense, he thanked the lord and prayed to his wall again.
The good lord was telling Jacob to look away from the six slashes of the couch, from the damages he caused and look towards what he did to those that weren't him. The further he brought himself to others, the further he was away from the six slashes. The further from this he would be as long as he would be away from himself. Care for others, and very very far away from his slashes or himself.
He then thought of those others, how miserable he must've made them, how angry he must've made them and how sad Micheal must've been that he didn't make it to his party. Jacob was the guest of honor in Victoria's way with words. And Jacob had just ruined his chance to socialise and meet those. As he looked to his lord and saw the one, and imagined walking those numbered steps to make it to twelve. And maybe even further. That's what the clock meant as he stood up and thanked the lord in prayer.
Jacob realised what he must do now as the minute yet strong third hand met with the sixth once the prayer was completed. He then cleaned himself up, took a shower he desperately needed, grabbed his covers and for the first time in a few nights. Took a well deserved nap.

Sunday, the day to repent one's actions. Of the night before or maybe of the life lived through the week. Though some didn't believe in such things like that Jacob did. There's people in this world who have their opinions on the matter, and some even think Religion falls down to people believing in an object that had no real meaning till its given meaning. Jacob Humdrum found that idea silly, the idea of worshiping some random item like a god, he could never fall for something so ludicrous as that.
So when he awakened that morning, he looked to his lord and thanked him for having a purer mind than most in that ideal. He then looked to his house and how trashed it was. He found great shame and prayed through the day as an apology. He prayed till his stomach gurgled and forced him to stop. The defiance of his body against his lord made him fear as he begged for forgiveness. The lord was generous in this, speaking that it was ten in the morning. And that he would be permitted breakfast.
So, he followed his lord's wisdom, grabbing the remaining eggs and cooking them, eating them straight out of the pan from sheer hunger. After this, his body trembled at the sudden food intake. Jacob looked under his shirt counting his still visible ribs making sure it wasn't lost. He found joy that they were in count and continued on with his day in verse.
On the eleventh and twelfth time of prayer Jacob had sewn his couch back together replacing the stuffing back into the cushions, and put wood shiner into the furniture cuts to make them invisible. When the world was brought into the newest evening by the mighty lord, the first hour of newly made prayers after breakfast brought Jacob to tears.
To think of better consciousness after a meal he found himself in great sorrow from his actions against those he worked with. Thinking to beg forgiveness for his actions though they would never be received back. When he looked to his lord and found it ran away from the first prayer but came back to it subtlety. The lord wanted Jacob to rethink his actions, and so, he did. Finding it a waste and making sure to repay them in his hard work, and to not stray away from his beliefs again.
On the second, third, and fourth prayer Jacob found himself without worth, he still came out to pray but sinful thoughts filled his head as he looked to understand his lord more. Why leave just to return to the issue at hand? The second prayer the lord returned to as the first hand went away. What did it mean? His questioning brought no answers which brought fear to Jacob as he feared he angered it.
His mind wavered in fear as he hid beside his newly sewn couch. Away from the gazing eye of his lord but it always found him as he gonged for his third and fourth prayer. On the third Jacob returned under him and prayed for answers but again they never came, he shunned this great lord, calling it names and ignoring its presence as Jacob watched tv. His eyes sometimes crossed the Lord's gaze as it sat there unwavering. It wasn't until the fourth call for prayer that he realised it was a test of patience, the fourth prayer was one of thanks as Jacob realised his foolishness.
The time drove him to do good for the god in a sort of bribery for his lack of patience. Did gods do bribes? Jacob wondered as he exited his car to the supermarket and bought a bunch of the material needed for a blessing. Jacob felt a little pride as he walked out of the supermarket as the lord had him speak to a young woman behind the checkout. She was nice to Jacob and even though he spent way above what he made her wishing him to have a great day was all thanks to his lord.
When he returned he found his lord still above, but also found he missed his prayer time as his lord pointed down upon him with both hands. Jacob bowed to his lord's feet begging for forgiveness as he made it a meal to enjoy as sacrifice. A chicken, sausage, and rice mix with peppers and sliced carrots that when seasoned and made properly by the sixth time of prayer was done. Delicious as he lowered his lord to the level of the mortals and enjoyed the feat he had made, praying in his name as he packed some of the food for tomorrow, even another smaller container for either another day or even Micheal, who Jacob hopped to see again. He then looked to his lord as he was reminded of the six slashes, placed him back onto his wall and got ready for bed.
Still a mess to clean later, and him rebandaging his arms from the burns he had but he didn't care at this moment, he was happy, and excited. For tomorrow he would make amends with those with his work being the best and making everyone love him. He would do this all in the came of his lord who looked upon him. So once he was done with his shower and rebandaged himself he walked back out to the kitchen one last time.
Yes. Jacob realised, the clock finally struck eight o clock at night, he swiftly stripped off his clothing and jumped into his messy bed. Not even a blanket on him as he grips his sheets till his knuckles turn white, doing a multitude of pushups, jumping jacks, and running in place so he can make himself sleep. And by morning he will wake energized, happy, and excited to start his day. A day where he is surrounded by those who talk to him, who care about him, who know he exists, and that day is the best day in the working week if you were to ask Jacob Humdrum. And that was Monday.