Yellow Ducky

Yellow Ducky

By

Sylvia Skrmetta



I noticed the tiny bright yellow rubber duck sitting on the inside ledge of the tub closest to the water faucet. It had been there for some time, but for some reason today it flooded my mind with thoughts of the past.

The newest and youngest members of my family, two great grandchildren, had bathed and played in my tub a few months back when my grandson had brought his family to visit us from Tennessee.

The children’s squealing happy voices still resonated in my mind. I was sure that I had bought two rubber ducks, one yellow, because I couldn’t find a pink one for my precious little girl, and one blue one for her baby brother. But now the blue one was missing. I hadn’t noticed until just now. I suspect that baby sister took a liking to the blue rubber duck designated for her brother...maybe because it was for her brother! Kids are like that; always wanting what a sibling has over something that is virtually exactly like what they already possess.

Their mother, who was kneeling on the floor by the tub, laughed with the babies as they splashed soapy water on her. They continued slapping the surface of the water until the game got tiresome. The ducks were then submerged just deep enough, so they would pop back up in an instance. I could tell how much my granddaughter in-law loved “bath time” with her Kiddos. That is the name she used when referring to her two sweet babies.

I remember thinking what a wonderful mother she was and how lucky my grandson was to have such a beautiful and devoted mother for his children. She was definitely in her element. The bath, the laughter, the mess was all too familiar to me. It didn’t, yet it did seem so long ago when my daughters played in the tub together...all three of them squeezing in, naked as the day they were born, and having a grand ole time making a huge mess all over the bathroom floor. And it would upset me, the mess, and I stopped their tub party. Back then, the mess was all I saw.

Looking back, I allowed unimportant things spoil the “now!” I never realized how fast time would soar by me, and that one day I would be an old woman wishing I had done things differently; appreciated all the little things; enjoyed the moments that I thought would last forever.

Now the yellow ducky is sitting on the ledge of my tub looking quite lonely without its blue companion. Maybe it is me who was feeling lonely. The house is quiet. All the festivities of the Christmas holiday is just a recent memory now. All the hustle and bustle; all the preparations and thought that had gone into buying gifts for my family that they would actually like and use but would probably stay in the box or bag for who knows how long; all the cooking and cleaning and decorating...all over with now.

I think the family gatherings on holidays, when most of my family members are here; when the noise and the laughter fill the house and teenage grandchildren find their cell phones more interesting than any relative in the room, when plates are loaded down with food and cups are filled with drink, remind me how blessed I am. This is the time when my husband and I look at each other and think, “Look what we’ve done!”

Then it’s all over. Another holiday; another year has gone by. Then, like the tiny yellow rubber duck sitting on the ledge of the bathtub, I feel the loneliness that must come to us all when our children have grown and moved on, and you are left with just the memories. I know my husband has these thoughts and feelings too, but it doesn’t show. We have each other, but maybe for women, for mothers, it's not the same. We feel the emptiness more profoundly when our babies are gone.

I kneel by the tub and lay my head on my arms that are folded on the ledge. These feelings will pass...I know this to be true. As I stare at the toy that somehow brought on this wave of nostalgia, I think, “I’ll just buy another blue rubber duck, so, at least, yellow ducky won’t be lonely.”

The End