The Phoenix

The freezing water weaves through my fingertips. The creature is on the edge of the river just before the thickness of the evergreens. It watches me with dilated golden irises. The feathers of its thick figure cascade down from the tips of its pointed ears. It has four legs, I am sure of it. At night, I swear it has six.

My hair is the same color as the riverbed, brown and murky. It isn't the color I love the most.

The tail of the Phoenix moves from one side to the other. The sound of it is louder than the rapids further downstream. It's ever-present and never takes its eyes off of me. I wonder why it never does. It only spoke once. The words went straight into my mind. It told me not to leave the river. I could travel along its length in this thick forest. I could swim to and from its varying lengths, but I could never truly leave. Never set my tail into the ocean, never shed my scales for legs like I know I can. I don't even know how I know I can because all I can remember is being in this river and there being a phoenix at the edge, watching me, making that ticking sound as it retracts its talons to a rhythm.

I wonder why this river. I wonder why I was born and how I was born. Sometimes, I think I was born from a raindrop that fell from one of these trees.

I hum while the current creeps up to my cheek. I am enjoying myself before that ache comes up again. The one that dominates my heart. Feels like an itch that I can't reach that only grows in agitation the more I breathe.

My tail pushes me further upstream. I don't want to deal with the rapids today. I run my hand through my shorter hair. I cut it for a change from the identical day to day. I am sure my locks have reached somewhere I haven't been allowed to go.

As I move, the Phoenix moves. Doesn't he get tired over the centuries?

It matches my pace, and I try to outrun it as usual. I go underwater. My curvier body fully emerges and embraces the water entering my lungs. Water does feel better than air. It fills you up more. Makes you feel less empty. Makes the ache fizzy instead of pulsing.

I go like this for a while. This river is a long one. Twisting my body, I allow my chest to rise and then my face. I float for a second before I realize I don't feel eyes on me. Phoenix is not here.

My fingers touch the edge of the river first. Then, the palm of my hand presses into the soil. The back of my top, made of interwoven leaves, touches the riverbed next. My brown tail gets out next. I am surprised at myself. It took one second not to listen.

Before I can say the words to make my tail turn into legs. I see those eyes. Those golden irises are just beyond that tree. It is shaking its head, lowering it towards the gravel.

Was it testing me? Was it trying to see if it could trust me? Does it expect me to go back? Is it letting me go?

My heartbeats are amplified in my throat. Phoenix is not sitting still with its neck long and spine upright. It looks dangerous. The low hum of its throat is only getting louder. Its ears are pulled back as its elegance loosens to something sinister.

I push myself back into the water and submerge myself. I go towards the rapids without a second thought. The current carries my speed. Footsteps beside the riverbed. It belongs to it.

The tip of my tail keeps hitting the rocks at the very bottom. When I see the opening towards the ocean, I increase my speed. A sharp pain stretches across my back. I taste iron and see red.

My graceful strides turn frantic. I scramble towards the opening. I make it to the ocean, and the freshwater turns to salt. I know I will be fine. I don't know why, but I know I will be fine. I peep my head above the water, and Phoenix is there with bits of my tail skin in its teeth.

The more I breathe in the saltwater, the less fuzzy my mind gets. I remember my name. I remember my parents. I was separated, hunted. The darkness in my mind becomes illuminated the more I breathe. My nose remains submerged. I linger near the monster.

Beasts feast on us. We are the utmost delicacy of this world and the most powerful. Our flesh is addictive and empowers them for a certain amount of time. Sailors used to speak of it all the time when I was young.

"Just put one of them in freshwater," The fisherman said. He couldn't see me. I was about to have him for myself sooner, but I was curious about what my prey would say. He was leaning back in a flimsy wooden boat. "You have to wait a while until they're weak and loopy, but it is worth it. An heirloom that can sustain generations after you cough it up for the best buyer. Even dragons would give you their entire lair for a taste of a siren."

The rage settles in my skin. With water circling all around me, I raise a column of water in the sky. I freeze into a point. With no mercy, I kill the beast who imprisoned me.