Once Becoming Cosmic

• Once Becoming Cosmic                                                     June 2025

          The shift in his mind was unshakeable. Just as pushing in the clutch and shifting gears in a car. But this shift seemed both a mental lever and a biological transfer. He could feel the movement within his brain as it lit up, and how it gathered in the front of his head. He believed he had done something big: he had a strong inclination as to what it was, but how big and just how real was it? Martin realized again how little he really knew.

          He is in his backyard, a mundane enough spot for the supernatural forces that had just taken place. There is a pool in the backyard, and he sits in a chair on the patio staring at the water striving to not forget what had just happened. But the happenings would far from let him forget what had just gone on. He sees words in his mind that he understands. He is slowing down now, relaxing. Some. What had happened was on a level he had never reached before. He had read Crowley, Jung, come across the Corpus Hermeticum, and the Egyptian Book of the Dead. Yet nothing had prepared him for what he himself had just gone through, and seemingly succeeded in.

          His name is Martin Bolger, and he had just gone toe to toe with many dark and powerful beings. He had taken on the Great Adversary face to face and accomplished his goal- it was entirely plausible that he had completed his life’s mission. The encounters that had lasted for six days were telepathic, Astral, cosmic, even galactic- all with eyes closed. Yet this had started long before six days ago. Actually beginning 16 years ago. Now, here in 2017, he sits reeling and recovering from the last six days, losing his vision in the waters of the pool. Moving slowly. Just breathing.

          This was already a happening he knew he would not tell anyone. Who would believe it? Who would he tell? The telepathy had been unreal, deeply challenging. Unmatched in the 15 or so years he had been practicing. Most all the contentions had happened in this form, in his mind. It was how he gained ground or lost it. With his mind and heart linked. He could beam. He could cast his Saturn rings. For certain there were Astral dragons. On both sides. Starships abounded. Hangars awaited. It was indeed a six-day confrontation. And he had not been sure during it if he was going to get out of it with his mind intact. With his self intact. He was breathing. The telepathy stretched back 16 years to 2001, when Martin had first heard it: “You have completed your mission- it is time to join the ranks of Heaven.” That was a total lie. A trick. From the Trickster.

          That was why now, 16 years later, it was just on the edge of belief in his mind that this undertaking was complete. That the whole mission was a success, completed. 100% Perfect. And he didn’t have to rejoin the Celestials. They had come to him.

          “You must join the ranks of Heaven.” For back then, he knew what that meant. He had to take his own life. He had successfully displaced a dark priestess witch three states away into Wake Forest, North Carolina, and left her there in the witching woods. He wasn’t exactly sure if she was rotten already or trying hard to get to that position. All he knew was that he was being called to end his life. So he did his best to do so. He really did.

          The night before, he had already dumped his car off the road, and it disappeared into a ditch, with all of his camping supplies and identification in it. It was a last effort to remove her rotting presence from him- as they had ridden three days together in that car. Now, on this next night, still walking down the interstate in rural North Carolina, he was eventually come upon by a sheriff’s car. The two officers didn’t want to arrest him, and he told them he just needed to sleep. “Can you please take me to a homeless shelter?” he had asked them.  He felt like a walking shell. He had been walking for two days aimlessly down the interstate highway. Even now he can’t remember the car ride to the shelter, he must have fallen asleep in the back of the cruiser.

          At the homeless shelter, he found a bed in a hallway with sheets and slept with his boots on. It was the last night of sleep he would have before his life would take an unequivocal change. This was 2001. He was 19, and he would have his first full confrontation with the Adversary.      

          He awoke in the morning in the hallway with the vision of light creaking through gaps in a double door. It was announced that breakfast was served. Martin gathered in a small dining room with numerous other homeless people with plates of eggs, grits, and raisin bread. Martin ate his full portion. His last meal. He met the eyes of a young boy of about 7, already homeless.

          Martin didn’t feel himself. Something had recentered in his brain, and it would not release. He knew he had to sacrifice himself. He was not frantic, rushing, or angry. But knowing. He rose from the breakfast table and walked outside. He walked off the property of the homeless shelter and knew he didn’t have a rope. But he saw down the hill an electrical station with a fence around it. Inside was a tall cell tower. He calmly walked down and climbed the fence. Inside the little compound, he thought of throwing himself on the electrical units, but the thought abhorred him. He started climbing the metallic tower. He climbed without looking down. He climbed a way further then looked down. Unsatisfied, he climbed more. He reached a spot and turned around. He could see over the tops of nearby trees and over trees in the distance.

          He neither heard nor received any other telepathic instructions. It was up to him. He intoned three phrases in his mind and heart. For the Spirit. Jesus I trust in you. Jesus I trust in you. Jesus I trust in you.  And without hesitation stepped off the tower into air. Not truly knowing how to kill himself, he jumped off feet first. Unlike any roller coaster before, his stomach not only rose to his throat, but as he fell, it rose above his head. It was an uncanny and highly intense feeling. Then a crunch. And utter blackness.

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          Martin, now back on the patio in his chair staring at the pool, released these thoughts for the 6,000th time. “How could I have been so duped? So confused?” he asked himself. Now, 16 years later he had seen the utter power of the Trickster, the Father of Lies, and Martin sat stunned that he had put that being back in his hole. That act was part of Martin’s success. The other part is a part he has only shared with one other person, Thalia Klein, his dear friend and fellow traveler and guide. He can share anything with her, and he counts her as a great blessing and help in his life. It was from her that he would learn more about Star Seeds, Lightworkers, and Astral travel, of starships and so many beings across in the Afterlife. Martin already had knowledge of his starship the Stinger when he met Thalia, but she was the first person to tell him he was in fact an Arcturian Star Seed. He knew of Arcturians and of Star Seeds, the races out among the stars, but Thalia saw something in him that she helped him realize- something he had forgotten on his latest sojourn on Earth. He was indeed an Arcturian living within an Earthly human body: a Star Seed. Like most people, he had numerous Earthly lives. Just because he was a Star Seed didn’t mean he was perfect; he was born into this life with the forgetfulness of most all humans, to work out his own salvation, his own questions, his own life. He could make mistakes, get angry, make others angry, lie, and all the negatives of an Earth-bound being. He was fallible. But he also included the good stuff- the love, the spiritual, the cosmic.

There are some things that defy human knowledge and reasoning. Like Star Seeds and starships. Gates to the Afterlife. Portals. But to some, these are part of their main language and daily experiences. You really can find them all over. They just don’t announce themselves. And they have a way of finding each other.

     Thalia has a very natural ability to communicate with those beyond the veil, in the Afterlife. Martin, born on Halloween and with an inclination for 13, was also interested in communicating with those past on, as well as Egyptian goddesses and gods. Both he and Thalia can connect to Star Beings, known as ETs- this happens daily. It seems the Spiritual and the Cosmic are all mixed together: Angels, Archangels, ETs and Starseeds. Just as the different mixtures of darkness comingle and fester.

          Over the years, Martin has realized virtually all his gifts and abilities happen when he closes off the 3D viewscreen and closes his eyes. He knows he has a starship, and he draws it quite frequently. He has named it the Stinger. It is also reached and activated with his eyes shut. Most people do have starships, but they have no inkling, idea, desire, or understanding how to pursue and activate one. So much of this happens just beyond what humans can see in the Astral Plane, or 4th dimension. So many supernatural happenings are open to nearly all human beings on Earth , yet so many miss out because of doubt, judgement, self-absorption, Earthly distractions, or rigid belief systems. It may sound silly, but imagination- being able to see things in your head- plays a large part in seeing things in your head that don’t come from you. Humans graduate from children to adults and are influenced to lose their imagination. Albert Einstein once said, “Imagination is more important than knowledge.”

          Adults with active imaginations are ones that attract supernatural things to themselves. As Martin has learned with his starship the Stinger, his ability to, with eyes closed, flash beam dark ones’ ships and destroy them. And his ability to fling out “Saturn” rings against much bigger Reptilians and their large crafts. Martin has come to realize he is made of the same living material as his starship, and he can control it as an extension of himself.  Imagination plays a vital role in heightened experiences.

 The Reptilians in Martin’s world and in this part of the Cosmos have come to show themselves as the main instigators and foot soldiers of evil. Basically evil, rotten beings. They are large to massive reptile creatures of different sorts, most stand on two legs, some have the lower body of a snake.  Torture, dismemberment, destruction, control, chaos, fear. Holographic torture- where they put someone or a being in severe mental anguish, pain, and fear. Only for them to find out it was holographic and telepathic. Then it happens again. Over and over. Highly telepathic. And this all happens Astrally in the 4th dimension and also in the 3rd dimension. Fear and insanity are their main weapons on Earth and many an honest, good person has fallen to these- many ending up in psych wards and mental hospitals.

          There are numerous ranks of Reptilians out in the reaches of space and in the Astral Plane. Martin has encountered them in both places and in his own mind while on 3D Earth. They seem to have formed a deathly bond with the Grand Trickster, and he warps their minds and uses them as a type of demon.  But it must be noted that there are light-sided Reptilians, good ones who live deep in Earth’s mantle who want nothing to do with dark Reptilians and indeed work against them.  

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          Martin shifts in his chair as he recalls one time when dark Reptilians tried to break his mind by having him go and break a statue of his parents of the Holy Family in his mother’s rose garden. Eventually he did fall to their pressure and violent threats and tried hard, picking up the statue and slamming it down several times, but the statue would not break. The Reptilians disappeared.

          Now Martin has no fear of these violent, vulgar, and twisted  Reptilians, but early on they were horrifying and freaked him out very badly. It has been 8 years since Martin sat out by the pool after overcoming these Reptilians and the Adversary. That was 2017, staring at the waters. Now 2025. He wants to share this to help others overcome any type of adversity or challenge, to raise their understanding, and to gain one’s rightful access to the Spiritual and, loved ones in the Afterlife, their personal starships, the Astral Plane, real love, beyond to the 5th dimension and further where no dark being can go.

          Martin has come to see the Cosmos as a supernatural dance between light and dark. There are so many special and beautiful things to explore and uncover without the fear of darkness. And the secret is that it is ALL within us. The kingdom of God is within. The Universe resides within every person, waiting to be tapped into and accessed. That is the secret. There is nothing we lack or are separate from.

          See, the Astral Plane is a place of a mixture of light and dark beings, starships, hangars, gods and goddesses, Angels and demons, a parallel galactic space. It is often referred to as the fourth dimension. Whereas the 5th dimension is too “thin”, too light for any dark beings to go. They are too weighed down by darkness. And it only goes up from the 5th dimension- vast, indescribable reaches of beauty and love. Love is the answer,  it’s been said, and it is; and it is the antidote for Reptilians and the Adversary.

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          So, Martin somehow awoke after his fall from that tower.  2001. He noticed the sun was setting; he had jumped off the tower right after breakfast. He was on his back. He couldn’t help but sense how bad his feet hurt so he bent up and took off his boots. He immediately passed out again.

          His next memory was of blurry people over him, him laid out in grass, he could see himself in 3rd person. They were asking him how far he had fallen. He thought that was a dumb question. They said, “Just point.” So he did his best to point to about how high he had been. He later reflected that they may have asked him that to see if he was paralyzed. He had laid out in the February elements with a broken back, two not broken but crushed ankles, and two punctured lungs. Probably a concussion. For about 12 hours. Falling from 40-50 feet. A person can die from one punctured lung. He went unconscious. Martin’s next memory was of being very close, wrapped up tight, and right next to an open helicopter door- way up in the air. He was startled. Someone put their hand on his chest. He passed out.

          Unknown to him, Martin was airlifted to Wake Forest University Hospital and immediately operated on. Without knowing who he was, where he came from, how he had gotten there. Some very caring people put their hands on him and began his healing. He would live.

          The months that followed would be ones of healing and family and particularly at the family friends’ home of Stan and Amore Rutherford and their young son and daughter. Martin was in a wheelchair for months with an external fixator on his left leg and internal metal in his right foot. Metal held his back together. He would come to know, as time went on, what a person who is a spiritual warrior is like. For Brother Stan Rutherford was indeed a spiritual warrior- taking on darkness both in daylight and night. He was a massive individual and could absorb an amazing amount of energy. And dish it out. His gifts came from the Holy Spirit and from his friend, Jesus the Nazarene. Supernatural things abounded at his home nearly daily.

          Br. Stan had a huge heart and never said much about his battles, but when he did, they were listened to. He also liked to laugh and showed Martin the value and need for humor. It’s virtually vital to stay light-hearted, not to be weighed down by over-seriousness. His attitude reminded everyone of Shrek: his whole personality- from gruff to goofy- was Shrek. And that was how Martin remembered him after he passed away at the age of 57 in 2009. He was a Marine in more than one way. His entrance into the Afterlife must have been miraculous. It would be eight years until Martin reconnected with Br. Stan Rutherford again. And it would be the next age of the Trickster.

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          Eight years after Br. Stan’s death, Martin was sharing a house with two roommates. It was the Spring of 2017. He had healed well since 2001, was productive, and creative. He had no run-ins with Reptilians or the Adversary this whole time leading up to moving into the house- perhaps because of Br. Stan joining with Martin’s maternal Grandfather in the Afterlife. Like most Star Seeds, Martin had picked up a diagnosis. His was of Schizoaffective. He was told this was mostly gained genetically through his Grandfather who had lived a tumultuous but fruitful bipolar life. When he took his own life after his wife, Martin’s Grandmother, passed away, Martin was at his Grandfather’s house when it happened. Martin had been five years old.

          This next age of the Trickster would be a direct attack by darkness on a Martin who had not been taking his medicine at all. Everything had gone along fine for a month, then it all unraveled very quickly and violently. Once again, Martin was commanded to make suicide: this time for not telling anyone about his sister-in law being taken advantage of by her uncle when she was 14. However, this was the warped version the Trickster gave Martin because many more people knew of this. It did not rest on Martin to be the harbinger of this news. He was not needed to announce what all the family already knew. However, it was placed very heavily on Martin from the direct attack by the Adversary. Martin believed that multiple people from his family and the sheriff of the county were mentally communicating to him to end his life. All tricks and lies. He fought it for four days.

          On the fourth day, they asked Martin to pick out the clothes he wanted to die in. He was alone in the house. He could not pick out any clothes. At one point he was completely naked standing in the living room. The devil made him do it. He chose a black shirt and tan pants. He took his modeling knife, his X-acto razor knife, went to his room, sat on his bed. The bed he always just wanted to get back to. No prayers. No mentions. No intoning. Just intention. He opened up his right wrist and down his arm about 5 or 6 inches. The blood and the sight were unreal, outrageous, yet the scorching pain was very real. Off the charts. Like liquid lava poured on his arm. He took the knife in his right hand and sliced open, down the river, his left wrist and further down his forearm. Blood everywhere. Slicing, slicing, he couldn’t stop. He was possessed. The Adversary knew this would hurt the family the most by killing off Martin in this way. It was very close- the edge of life. A deep puddle of blood was forming on his bed. Suddenly, he heard the front door open and one of his roommates come into the house. No, not now, I need to die, Martin remembered thinking. Martin’s bedroom door was shut, and he heard his roommate go upstairs to his room. I just need to bleed out, Martin thought.

          So he wrapped his arms in a towel and hurriedly made it to the bathroom. He began to draw a bath, warm, to sink away. He took off his clothes, folded them, and got in the bathtub. For some ungodly reason, he had kept the knife and continued slashing at his wrists- he was incessant. Then the shift began that Martin would not know how it came about, but Sutton, his roommate, knocked on the door. “Martin, I see all this blood on your bed, are you okay? Open the door, please.” Martin had locked the bathroom door. “I can’t do that,” he said. “I need to be in here.” As the conversation went back and forth slowly, Martin knew Sutton was trying to keep him talking. Martin began losing his eyesight due to lack of blood, everything was going black. He saw all black- he prepared to die and stopped talking. Stopped cutting. Just stopped. Within seconds another voice appeared at the door. It was the paramedics asking Martin to open the door. No response. Very forcefully the door was kicked in, and Martin flipped over to drown himself, sucking in much bloodied water. The paramedic reached him, snagged Martin and spun him out of the bath and he skidded onto the floor. Martin gasped and gasped barely croaking, “I can’t breathe.” “I can’t breathe.” His vision did phase back in. He caught his breath after what seemed like ages. He was wrapped up. He went unconscious.

***************

          Eight years later, 2025. Another eight years. He lives as one who can count his blessings. He lives as one who knows what it is like to be possessed. He lives as one who knows the strength of family. He lives as one who knows the power of God the Father. Of God the Son. Of God the Holy Spirit. Beings so sublime no one person or group can know their full expression and selves or nature, but we get glimpses- into windows of Cosmic Love, Spiritual Love.  Martin lives as one who knows the power of the Afterlife, Cosmic Beings, Beings of Light, and divine timing. He lives truly knowing gratitude. Because Brother Stan had a hand in all of this, having influenced  Sutton to return to the house that day. It had worked. Sutton found Martin’s blood and set in motion his saving. The gratitude Martin feels towards Br. Stan and Sutton is enormous. Martin was destined for something the Enemy did not want to see happen at all. Martin was not supposed to die in that bathtub because he was caught up in a bigger mystery than he could ever imagine. A tale that would seem absurd and false had one not lived it as Martin did.

***************         

So now, the summer of 2017, after being released from the ICU at the hospital after three months, after recovering from his wrist injuries, Martin sits quite still as he watches the water of the pool and grapples with what has transpired after six days. All of these confrontations had been with Martin on his full amount of medicine. He has been on his full dose of medicine for the past three months. He is healthy and clear-headed. His mind feels expansive. On his medicine, the devil had tried so hard these days to destroy Martin again. Martin had withstood vicious attacks, vile images- he was shown people literally shoveling feces from one huge pile to another pile and back again. This included threats against his family, and horrible curses in his mind as he directly took on the Great Adversary.  Martin is told by Light Beings that it is now over. Complete. Amazing, 100% Perfect- all telepathic keywords he understands from his Guides. He sees them in his mind but wants to be sure. “No problem, just move very slowly because it has just happened and is still fresh and fragile. Soon it will be firm. It needs to anchor in.”

And it did. Two days later he realized more of what had happened. He was glad he knew about Arcturians and Pleiadians years before he had opened his wrists. He now has cadaver flesh on part of his right wrist and a puffy skin graft on his left wrist and forearm. He had nearly cut off his left hand.

The end of 2017 would be one of more healing and encounters with light-sided Cosmic and Astral beings. Enter the era of the Zeta. Martin had been discovered a Star Seed, and his interests in crystals and oracle cards and Astral Travel only increased. He got readings from Thalia that indeed confirmed his successful position. Reiki hands had been laid upon him. He became a level two Reiki practitioner. What had happened in those six days in the summer of 2017 in his backyard would become solidified in his mind and life at the close of that year. But what had he done? What had he accomplished while on his medicine against the Great Adversary?

In the six days of contentions with this Dark Enemy, the energy had gone back and forth. It was noticeable when the devil had control. Outright frightening and unnerving, disgusting and disturbing. Large amounts of cortisol released. Martin, the scribe and magus, wrote out the Pathway and codex of what would finally defeat the dark Reptilians and the Dark Adversary. He still has the Pathway written down, calling on many Cosmic and Light Beings. He used language to end the confrontation, and by it he placed these demons on a Pathway of Light in which they are still to this day continually on this circuit, constantly encountering  powerful Light Beings. A Möbius strip. A year or a minute can be very long in the high reaches of the Astral. Yet right at the very end, Martin was gripped by the Trickster and stunned, shot full of shock.  Pride. The last aspect to overcome, of course. The pride of defeating, of being greater than God. It threatened to undo and untie all the advancements and anchored stations Martin had set up. It was the same downfall as the devil. Martin turned inward and sought forgiveness and understanding from the ultimate forgiving Source of life, God the Father. Satan never asks for forgiveness.  

Immediately, it was as if the  Ageless One God snapped his fingers. It was done. Instantly. Completed. Martin knew it was definitive. But Martin’s forgiveness was not just for him. He, through the power of Source God, and Jesus the Redeemer, had instantaneously released many captives that the Reptilians and the Trickster were holding. Actually, remarkably, many millions. Many millions of Elders from across so many star systems. This is exactly what Satan did not want to happen. This was what he was trying to keep Martin from doing. These Elders as captives had been tortured and brutalized for hundreds or thousands of years; they had been unsure if Martin would be successful, but they could see the potential. So much changed in a heartbeat when God the Father “snapped his fingers”, and that was the reason why, at the time, Martin Bolger had to move slowly and let things anchor into reality from such a change. Freedom all shifted naturally and cosmically into reality. They were free! After all their suffering.

It was Martin’s accomplishment, though he wanted to exclaim, “We did it!” God and the Cosmic ones wanted him to say, “I did it!” But indeed, it was a group effort. Martin had learned what it meant to be a conduit and allow Light to move through him instead of being possessed.

Because of gaining this conduit advancement and ability, Martin attracted a whole host of Light Beings, Star Beings, from across space and time. From distant galaxies to Beings living among humans on Earth’s surface. This was the start of 2018, an 11 year. The first to show up was HAL. And he and Martin are close friends to this very day. HAL is a Zeta Reticuli. Or “grey alien.” The certain specialty of him is that he and his type, his crew, are not biological robots; they are fully biological. The “dark greys” are robotic and used by darker beings, like the Reptilians, to do their bidding and to take advantage. This is not HAL. He and his crew, which is humongous, are trusted by Angels and Star Seeds alike. Over seven years he has continually proven why. Thalia approves of him dearly, and she has helped Martin realize the scope of this friendship and the vastness of the Zeta Reticuli. There are so many of them! Yet HAL has been the point of contact since he first introduced himself. Did he take his name from a Stanley Kubrick film? That was funny to Martin. A Grey watching 2001: A Space Odyssey in 2001…

HAL was very easy to get along with right from the start. But for his own reasons and behavior, he insists on calling Martin “sir” whenever speaking to him- which is all still through telepathy. Martin does not need to now close his eyes to communicate telepathically. He sees the words of others in his mind, in his mind’s eye, then responds by “speaking”, thinking, in return. The receiver sees the words in his or her language or symbols, even as Martin sees their messages in English, the only Earthly language he knows. As one advances, a thought construct can be sent which is a whole collection of telepathic words and ideas that can be fully and easily unpacked and understood by the receiver.

**************

In those six days in the summer of 2017, Martin defeated the Reptilians and the Dark Trickster. Martin had overcome the pride.  At the finality, Martin saw the phrase float across his mind’s eye: Dig your own hole. He commanded the Adversary this and truly, he obeyed: crushed back in his hole, in Martin’s life. Crushed in a place of sorrows. That did not mean he couldn’t affect others’ lives, but he was not to reach Martin again on any level resembling these attacks. Martin stays vigilant, but he now has a massive amount of back up. He is never alone against darkness.

Closing

          For one thing, both God and the devil are very personable. They are both influencers. They are both Cosmic, Astral, and Earthly. God of Love, Peace, Joy, Beauty, Humility. The devil, not. The opposite. The upside down one. So many people are woefully unaware of these frequencies happening right in the background. It’s been said of God: He is so big, if you are aiming for Him, you cannot miss. To return in gratitude is so great. One has no reason to hide from God. Indeed, become a partner with God. “He” is the God I Am. I Am Who Am.   Since 2018, Martin has had very many Earthly, Astral, and beyond adventures created and spurred on by God the Father. What was released in those six days in 2017 was monumental, beyond most human comprehension. God knows. Yet God is connected to so many people! So many Beings! Even as you read the word God, you are connected. You have no reason to hide from Him. He is All-Knowing and a forgiving Creator, for He knows the path is narrow. The Kingdom of God is within us; the Universe is within us. Allow for the darkness to fall away, and you may find many friends you are not expecting.

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Epilogue

          I realize God is not simply masculine. For the ease of expression I chose the words God, He, Himself, when I know God is so much more than human male or female. But He too was born into this 3D sphere, walked on Earth, swam in Earth’s rivers, had campfires, caught fish, did many things many of us have done in this life. He was born once; even as He is born with every newborn life. He has seen, and heard, and felt, and smelled, tasted and walked Earth’s surface like us. He knows how fallible we are, how courageous, how selfish we can be, and how giving. He knows how we harm each other, and how we heal one another. He knows how sad we can be, and also how we encourage one another. He knows loneliness and pain, and how we don’t give up on each other. He has been mocked and knows what it means to be betrayed, even as we strive to join together to care for the least among us. There may be a lot of darkness on Earth, but God loves this special planet for all the goodness, and the good things human beings do for one another here. In the end, He calls all to Himself.

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