House Husband at Seventy.

Author's Note: Roles change over time. Love and commitment stay as the foundation. But Life has stages. Younger people have to split their time between so many things: career, relationships, raising children, finances...the list, is endless. For us older folks with 45 years of marriage and teamwork behind us, well, health, and quality of life, rule the roost. And this is a glimpse into how my roles have changed over time. I bet, I am not alone! 

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So my main job for the last decade and a half, has to been to make sure Kathy doesn’t have to lift a finger after she comes home from work. I stopped working in 2013, and that is the year she started working.

And I have learned how to be an “Old School “ House husband”.  Without having to care for Kathy, I really serve no purpose anymore. She is the breadwinner. My job, such as it is, to keep her stress level and household chores to a minimum.

And now, strangely,  I understand how tough it was to be a House wife and stay at home Mom. I cook, clean, do the laundry, make the beds, fold the towels. The only thing I don’t do, is iron. I don’t think we have anything in our closets that require ironing.

When Kathy comes home from work, she is dead tired. Usually her day lasts from 5:30 AM, until she gets home sometime between 6 and 7 PM. Pretty close to 12 hour days. She just wants supper on the table, slip into her PJ’s, and perch in front of theTV or check her Social Media.

Meanwhile, I am upset because I didn’t time dinner to when she got home. She was late, supper was ready an hour ago. Or the opposite happens, and she gets home a half hour before I am done cooking. Now I know why my Mom and Sisters got so bent out of shape when Dad or Brother in Laws, were late…or early.

And, of course, I haven’t seen another human Being all day, let alone talked to one. So I am chatty Kathy. Kathy, has been around Human Beings all day…and just wants some peace and quiet. So once again, I realize how stressful it was for a married couple just to meet up at the end of the day. One just wants some alone time, the other wants some companionship.  Compromises are necessary.

I find myself proud of my little housekeeping skills, our bathrooms are spic and span…Military Inspection Level clean. I get lots of compliments from my Children, and Grandchildren, and guests (few and far between) ask Kathy what cleaning service she uses. I blush like a new bride. LOL

I am doing the whole house this week. Getting it ready for Kaylyssa to bring her five year old (Van Hugo Quinn…I love that name!) and my brand spanking new 1 year old granddaughter. Little Valerie May Quinn. When she brought her down as a baby (last year) I so wanted to hold her. Nothing smells as sweet as a newborn baby.

Alas, I had to be quarantined for five weeks, as I somehow managed to catch 3 Viral respiratory diseases …at the same time. So they couldn’t even bring her over for me to see her through the glass door. Because they knew little Van - who was only four, would have thrown a fit that he wasn’t allowed in Nanny’s house.  So I never saw her.

But hopefully, in three weeks, I will finally meet the little tyke. Walking now, but still cute as a button.

You know, I thought I helped my Mom out a lot, when I was growing up. After Kathy had our two kids, I tried to be more helpful. Then I saw how hard my daughter worked with her two kids…and I realized I did help…a bit. But not enough.

I could have helped my Mom more. I could have helped Kathy more. And I could have helped my daughter’s more. Although they all tell me I am helping…a lot. I swear I have no clue how a Single Mom, or a Working Mom, even manages to keep her head above water.

Household stuff has to be low on her priority list…and they only have a few hours after work. No wonder they spend all Saturday just trying to catch up. I don’t want Kathy to have to feel warn out, and still have to do more work when she gets home.

So I have become a Househusband with more in common with Mom’s from my generation than most men of today. LOL And yet, I find myself fulfilled. I love caring for my Kathy…I always have. But now I feel, I don’t know, needed? Is that the right word?

I can see how much my little bit of cooking, cleaning, house work and just being there for when she needs something…is. Now if I could just get my lipstick on right. LOL

I just finished washing and waxing three floors. Three more tomorrow, and the inside is ready for the Toddlers. And then, if my body doesn’t give out on me, I have to clean the green mold off the Vinyl Siding. The heat and humidity down here is crushing, and relentless.

Every year, the outside of the house starts to look like pond scum. And some parts are so thick, I see frogs. LOL  So not only do I have to keep the inside sparkling, I have to do the outside too.  Luckily they came up with this product called: 30 seconds. And man, that stuff makes it a dream to clean the outside. Just spray it on. Let it sit for literally a minute or two…and rinse it off. No more mold or mildew.  Lovely.

So here are some pics of the floors I just finished…and yes, I am fishing for a compliment. When Kathy “oohs and ahhs “ about my floors I shall burst into tears of pride , just like a young bride being told how perfect she is. In some ways, I am that young Bride from the Fifites...and it fits me well, as an Old man in his seventies. 

I don't care what Society says I should look like, feel like, or work like...my goal is to make our home safe and comfortable. I don't know what works for others, I know what works for me and my Kathy. A cup of tea, some toast, and a lazy slow morning with a conversation as she sips her tea...those are the moments I cherish. 

Smiles, Kevin who understands a bit better.