The Dirty Windows

The Dirty Windows

Life’s Lesson

There was once a married couple who had a simple morning routine. Every morning, the husband would sit at the kitchen table with his newspaper, slowly drinking his fifth cup of coffee and smoking his cigarette, while his wife happily prepared breakfast in the kitchen.

One morning, while preparing breakfast, the wife looked through the kitchen window and noticed her neighbour hanging laundry outside.

She stared for a moment and shook her head.

I honestly do not understand how someone can hang such dirty clothes on a washing line, she said. Look at them. They are filthy. Maybe she needs better washing powder, or perhaps she doesn't know how to wash clothes properly. Her husband said nothing. He simply continued reading his newspaper.

The next morning, it happened again. The wife looked through the window and once again noticed the neighbour hanging her washing outside. There she goes again, she said. Look at those clothes. They are still dirty. I really don't understand it, and so it continued.

Day after day, the wife looked through the same window and judged the same neighbour. Every time she saw the laundry, she saw dirty clothes. Every time she saw dirty clothes, she found another reason to explain why her neighbour was doing something wrong.

Then, one morning, the wife looked out of the window and suddenly smiled. Well, finally, she said. Look at that. Her clothes are absolutely spotless today. I wonder what happened. Perhaps she bought better soap or finally learned how to wash them properly.

The husband slowly lowered his newspaper. He took a long drag from his cigarette, looked at his wife, and calmly said, No, my dear. The clothes have not changed. She looked at him, confused.

I cleaned the windows yesterday. The room suddenly became very quiet. For all those days, she had been so certain that the problem was outside her window. She had judged her neighbour, criticized her washing, questioned her ability, and convinced herself that she knew exactly what was wrong. But the truth was much closer than she realized.

The problem was not the laundry. The problem was the window through which she was looking at it.

Perhaps that is a lesson we all need to hear. How often do we look at another person's life and immediately decide what is wrong with them?

We see someone who is struggling and call them weak.

We see someone who is angry and call them difficult.

We see someone who has made mistakes and decide they are a bad person.

We see someone who has changed and assume they no longer care.

We see someone who is quiet and think they are arrogant.

We see someone who pushes us away and believe they don't love us.

But sometimes, before we judge the person standing on the other side of the window, we should stop and ask ourselves.

How clean is my window?

Because our windows are not made of glass alone. They are made from our childhood, our experiences, our disappointments, our fears, our failures, our broken hearts, and the wounds we never completely healed.

We do not always see people as they truly are. Sometimes we see them through the dirt left behind by someone who hurt us years ago.

We expect betrayal because we have been betrayed.

We expect rejection because we have been rejected.

We expect people to leave because someone we trusted once walked away.

We become suspicious of kindness because we have learned that not everyone who smiles at us has good intentions.

Without realizing it, we begin judging today's people through yesterday's pain. That is how a dirty window can change the entire world outside it.

The sad part is that sometimes the people we hurt with our judgment are the very people who never deserved it.

A husband may look at his wife through the window of past arguments.

A wife may look at her husband through the window of past disappointments.

A parent may look at a child through the window of fear.

A friend may look at another friend through the window of betrayal.

Before long, two people can be standing in the same room, looking at each other through completely different windows. Neither understands what the other is seeing.

That is why sometimes we need to stop pointing at the dirt outside and take a good, honest look at the glass in front of us.

Maybe the person has not changed.

Maybe our perspective has.

Maybe the world has not suddenly become darker.

Maybe our window has become dirty.

Cleaning that window does not mean pretending that people have not hurt us. It does not mean ignoring wrongdoing or allowing people to treat us badly.

It simply means having the courage to ask ourselves whether we are seeing the present clearly, or whether we are allowing the past to decide what we see today.

Because sometimes the person standing in front of you is not the enemy.

Sometimes they are not the problem.

Sometimes they are simply being viewed through a window covered in yesterday's dirt.

So before you judge someone's life, their choices, their marriage, their family, their failures, or their character, pause for a moment.

Take a step back.

Look at the window.

Ask yourself:

Am I seeing them as they really are, or am I seeing them through everything that has happened to me?

Because a dirty window can make clean clothes look dirty.

A wounded heart can make innocent people look guilty.

Sometimes the problem is not the person standing in front of us.

Sometimes it is the window we are looking through.

Sometimes, the greatest change we can make in our lives is not changing the world outside us.

It is cleaning the window within us…….

Composed and Created by VETERAN DSF

Life Coach, Author, Novelist, Writer, & Poet

Marius F Robbertze

AKA (MFR ™) ©®