Desperate Yet Destined(Arsal Shoaib) In the beginning it was just the same. I opened my eyes in the city of Lahore. Unconscious and unaware I kept changing laps of people until I was three. At that time I gained sense to see the world through my own eyes. I knew this was the beginning of a long journey which would let me experience the tough, sorrow full and happy moments throughout my life. The first two years were very smooth and sweet. I used to sleep with my Mother, wake up with her, play with her, talk with her and knowing all she never let me get scared or unprotected. She was the best remedy for any problem that I faced. She was my teacher, my preacher, my helper as well as my best friend.

Then I was young enough to play with my two elder brothers. They were nice and kind to me and protected me through thick and thin. By this time I had started going to school. Slowly I grew older and got to know about my cousins and other relatives. The only thing missing in my life was my father. My mother told me that my grandfather was Captain in British Navy and after retirement he came to Pakistan and settled here. He joined politics and soon became Commissioner of Kalat and was a great landlord of this area. My father, after getting his basic education from Britain, went to Canada to complete his higher studies and become a lawyer. Now he comes once a year to meet all his relatives and family.

At the age of 8, I met my father for the first time. He had been quite busy there so this time he came after three years. By now I had made a couple of friends in school and life became somewhat more interesting. At that time I started thinking about my career for the first time. I thought for very long but could not settle my mind on any one field. At the age of 14, I started my O-level classes and soon I made up my mind. I always wanted to be different from others and so I choose a profession which was not at all common in this country. My Mathematics were good, my drawing was excellent, and I had a very complex and creative mind so I decided that I wanted to become an Architect.

This was a field I had no idea of. Nobody in our family ever got into this field so I decided to become the first one. Another reason being that I started hating the two fields everyone dreamed of. Either to become a doctor or an Engineer. This was the first decision I made on my own in my life. I was criticized by my whole family and many tried to change my mind, but they soon came to know that this was my first and last decision. Even my Mom and Dad did not appreciate me at first, but soon they were satisfied with my decision and started appreciating me. I completed my O-levels and was about to start A-levels when my father retired and came back home forever. It was very unfortunate news but despite all everyone was happy that he earned his every penny through hard work and honesty and now he would safely live with his family, happily. Afterwards my father got job as legal advisor to Governor Punjab.

By this time my eldest brother had gone to university and the other was applying for Pakistan Army. I had a lot of interest in ancient architecture so I used to spend most of my time reading and learning about these ancient structures. It soon became my passion to collect knowledge about ancient empires. I did my A-levels with good result and applied in NCA (National College Of Arts). Soon its merit list was displayed and I had got an admission in the first list. The five year course was difficult but I made clear to myself that what I do here is what my career depends upon. I had a tough four years, but once I graduated, I was the happiest man alive. I never saw my parents more happy than they were on my convocation ceremony. I thanked God and my parents for keeping a firm belief in me and giving me the choice to decide my own profession.

It took quite a while to find a job and at first it was not a good one, but still I did not lose hope and tried to find a better one. This job was in a small firm in which I was not having any facilities to avail or having a good salary either. Apart from this job I started making sketches and designs on my own. I used to make designs for houses, buildings, offices and restaurants. This gained me a lot of experience. As an architect, one day I was given a project to design a structure of a ten story plaza having strength to withstand huge gusts of wind and should be durable enough to remain there for years. Apart from these it should be able to withstand earthquakes and heavy rain. I gave my full effort and hard work to make it a reality and after one month’s time I submitted it to our head. After sometime I came to know that the engineering company which wanted to make this huge plaza selected our firm’s designs for this building. This made our firm popular and renowned. After a few more projects like this I was promoted and made the chief of the designing committee. This nearly doubled my salary and now I was satisfied with the job. In a short period of time, our firm achieved great success, but still this firm was on a very small scale and I sensed that my true potential was still to be explored.

By now I was getting offers from firms in different cities as well. Soon I changed my firm and joined one in Karachi. This was a much bigger firm and I was allotted my very own glass cabin office. This firm had much more orders to complete and so the work got tougher and tougher but I quickly sensed that this was increasing my opportunities as well. This made me more busy and I had much less time to spend with my parents and other family members. I visited my parents once in a month. Every time I visited them, it was clear that they were getting weaker and weaker. I used to buy medicines for them whenever I was on my way home. Especially my Dad used to talk much less on phone as well as when I was at home. This routine continued for more than two years and then one day at the office I received a call from my brother. He told me that father had a severe heart attack after breakfast and after he was taken to hospital he did not survive for much longer. This news just came out of the blue for me as I was never expecting this to happen. This news blew the winds off me and I felt the world around me numb and hollow. A kind of shelter was shattered from my head. I had just heard these things from elders but when it happened to me it was like the earth gave way from underneath my feet. It was just one week that I met with my father and he was in a good condition. I could not stop my tears at that moment. I quickly ended the call and took the very next flight from Karachi to Lahore. The whole atmosphere of Lahore was depressed. Everything looked terrible and horrific. I went straight to my home and saw my mother crying. In an instant I burst into tears which were never ending. I remained there for a month and then returned to my job.

My work with the firm was going quite well and now we were doing international projects as well so I was getting many benefits and a large sum of money. After just a few months I received an invitation from a firm operating in Dubai to come and join them. Afterwards many more came but I was not ready to do any such things at that particular moment. My elder brother had gone to America to obtain his PhD degree and my mother was with my other brother who was Major in Pakistan Army at that time.

Time quickly passed after my father’s death. Afterwards my both brothers were married. After their marriages my mother and my brothers told me that I should avail the opportunity and join an international firm as it would benefit me more. I joined the Dubai based firm and started living there. I used to visit my mother once in 3-6 months and called her regularly. One day on a fine evening I received a call from my brother telling me about my mother that she was seriously ill and admitted in hospital. I went to see her the very next day and while I was there my mother passed away right in front of my eyes. That was the most depressing and sorrow filled moment of my entire lifetime. I felt complete disorientation, I had nothing on my mind, my heart was broken and my whole body was shivering in pain. I just cried and cried until my eyes swelled. My mother, who was my guideline from the beginning, had now gone. My elder brother also came from America. We could not do anything except keep a firm belief in Allah and pray for her forgiveness. After all this I returned to my home in Dubai. I continued my hard work and after 3 years it all payed off. I had my name nominated in the list of top 10 Architects of the world. Unfortunately I did not have success that time but the very next year I was nominated 7th.

I am 45 now. I own a firm in Rome working day and night preparing hundreds of projects every day. It was a wish of my mother to see me at the top of my field and now finally I have achieved it, but sadly my mother did not live long enough to see this day come true. So now I am sitting beside a fireplace writing these last lines in Athens World Architectural Centre having the World’s Best Architect award in my hand, but nobody sitting by me to share this magical moment, which was just a dream I seldom saw!

-Author-
M.Arsal Shoaib

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