Fragments of the Heart

Fragments of the Heart(Saman Hameed) Fragments of the Heart

“She won’t be able to make it doc” the nurse whispered. Her eyes were glazed with tears of pity. “We don’t even know who she is.”

The doctor smacked his forehead in disappointment. “Search for any ID so we can inform her family.” He felt as if he himself was the murderer.

The nurse checked the girl’s pants, and found a bundle of letters folded neatly in halves. She unfolded the one that wasn’t in an envelope and read it out loud to the doctor.

“I can’t write much because I don’t have enough time. All I can say is that my other three letters should be delivered to my parents and sister. This one is for you if have found me dead in Gangster’s alley. Tell my family that I love them and try to calm them down. My name is Hannah Evans…” The nurse stopped reading. “She never finished her last sentence.”

Julia Evans quickly sat up in her bed. She had the worst dream ever. Her silky brown hair was all over her face. Julia had dreamt of a gangster with a gun coming near her. “Relax Jules, it was nothing.” Julia told herself.

“Jules, Hannah, time for breakfast!” Their mom, Audrey shouted.
Julia went through the normal routine of brushing her teeth and changing, then went downstairs. She frowned when she saw that she was there before her “perfect” sister. About time I beat little miss perfect. Julia thought.

“Where’s Hannah?” Julia’s mom asked. “Oh well, she must be sleeping in.”

After an awkward moment of silence, the doorbell rang loudly. The mom opened the door, and Julia frowned when she saw the man standing at the door. He was wearing a blood stained doctors coat, and looked as if he had stayed awake all night long. He had three brown envelopes clutched tightly. Julia could tell her mother was as shocked as she was.

“Good Morning sir, may I help you?” Audrey inquired.

“Only if you are Mrs. Evans” The man replied hoarsely. “Are you the mother of Hannah Evans?”

“Yes, I am. What’s wrong?”

“Your daughter Hannah…” He broke off and took a deep breath, “she died last night.”

There was a loud bang and Mrs. Evans hit the wooden floor. She was completely shattered and grief stricken. With a broken heart and a sea of tears in her eyes she murmured, “Hannah, my sweet Hannah…” Mrs. Evans was as pale as a ghost. “How did all of this happen?”

“She was murdered. The clever girl wrote letters to all of you, and one to the person who finds her body.” The man wiped a tear. “I’m doctor Raysfield, and I found her in Gangster’s alley.”

The few events that took place after went by like a bad dream. Julia’s father came down and received the sad news, and they had a conversation with Dr. Raysfield. Julia went to her room and sat there. She was abashed and just couldn’t think straight. A wave of guilt spread throughout her body. Last night, Hannah had recieved a call from Peter, the gangs’ main leader. Julia knew that it was a call threatening Hannah, and she knew it had to do with her. She had screamed at Hannah for trying to be a hero, and said that she wished Hannah would die.

I’m a horrible person, she died for me, and the last thing I said to her was that she deserved to die. Julia thought as she sobbed. She wanted to kill herself; the guilt was conquering her body. Julia was disgusted with herself. After hours of crying, she went to sleep.

When she woke up, her eyes felt groggy. By the windowsill, Julia saw Hannah sitting down and looking at her. Julia rubbed her eyes and squinted. It’s probably her ghost, coming to haunt me. The Hannah she saw was rocking on her knees, holding a sharp knife in one hand and clutching the carpet with the other. She slit her pale white hands with the knife. The ruby red blood oozed down Hannah’s arms. “Would it make you feel better to watch me as I bleed Julia?” Hannah whispered.

Julia sat on her bed, frozen like a statue. Hannah was gone, but the knife remained. She unfroze and picked the knife up. Her eyes flickered with madness; she had the desire to cut herself like Hannah had. Her cuts would be deeper, she would be better than Hannah at that. The knife dug into the skin, blood streamed out as the skin ripped. Julia cackled with laughter. It was uncontrollable. Then she sobbed loudly, and laughed again. Kill, that’s what I need to do now. Kill yourself Julia Evans.

Another Hannah appeared in front of Julia. This Hannah was bright and tidy, unlike the other one. “Read the letter Jules, please, read it.”

Julia picked up the letter and tore the envelope. It was handwritten, on lined paper.

“When you were born, I was twelve Jules. I was excited to have a baby sister. You were an adorable little thing and I loved you to bits. On your first birthday, I decorated the whole house and we had a huge party. Jules, you were the light in my life. You used to love me like a mom, sister, and best friend. When you were four, I was sixteen. You were attached to me, and it was as if our souls were connected. The day I had to go to college, I remember you were sitting on the stair steps with your little head on your knees, sobbing and snuffling. When I came back for Christmas, you wouldn’t talk to me. I knew you were angry with me. On your tenth birthday, you turned down my offer to go to the mall for the first time. When you turned thirteen, you tried to pretend that I didn’t exist. I’m sorry I interfered with your life baby. Somewhere along the line, I lost the chubby little baby I had loved with all of my heart. It was replaced with the pretty, young teen that I had to learn how to love. I taught you how to swim, do you remember? As the years slipped by, I started to lose you. The glue that had bonded us together had started to wear off.”

“You were the light in the darkness, a ray of hope in the world. You still are. Don’t feel guilty because of my death Jules. Just know that I died for my little baby. You’re always going to be my little baby. It’s too hard for me to get used to the big girl. Life is like a handful of sand, with each grain of happiness slipping away. We have to block those open spaces and keep the happiness Jules. Pull yourself together sweetheart, hope is always on the way. Help mom and dad keep their happy moments.”

“How did I know about all of this? Well, I’ve known you for all of your life. No matter what happens, never let go of your memories Jules. Sometimes they can be your soldiers.”

A big, fat, salty tear dripped down Julia’s nose. She was ashamed with herself and her behavior. My big sister, the best sister anyone could have. New feelings erupted in Julia’s chest. They were not sadness or guilt. They were flames of hope and pride. Julia took a deep breath, and then went to her mom to schedule the funeral date.

Years had passed by, and everyone in the community knew Julia Evans. She was the generous leader of many organizations and was known to fight for human rights. Julia herself had finally found peace. She no longer dreaded the unknown, but faced it with all her might. A large photo of her inspiration was hung in her room. With the photo there was a letter that brought a drastic change in her life. Hannah Evans really made a difference in her little baby’s life. She made a depressed girl a leader.