I am Lilly and this incident took place when I was fourteen. This to me was the silliest and craziest day of my seventeen year experience in life. You might enjoy my absent-minded walks and stumbles. Well! How I wished you were in my shoes. Now let me get to the story.
It was on a Thursday night when I had stayed up late to watch three movies. Indeed the movies were good but I was forced to sleep in between.
I did have class next day and I had to prepare a lecture on amphibians-especially the frog, in precise detail. Well! I had to flip through it once again. My alarm was set for half-past six in the morning, I heard it ring at about ‘8’ in the morning. I was bugged to hear it and gave it a swell throw. I heard the shatter of glass and leakage of water. It took a few seconds for me to realize that I accidentally threw it at the aquarium nearby. Immediately I got up to my feet and took the fish into the bathtub. I first blocked the drain and then put in Mole and Mitchell, my gold fishes, Tap and Tip my angel fishes, and Alice the slug. Then I was shocked to realize that my frog which had been kept near the aquarium had fled. I hate frogs, because they are ‘yucky’ and ‘slimy’.
Well! This was not to be treasured as a gift but for dissection. I searched for it hither and thither. After a few minutes; it sprang onto my leg as if from nowhere. I then screamed like hell as if the world was going to end. My mom had come with some tea and pancakes for me. I didn’t see her and fell onto her; she was pushed back and hit the railings of the stairs. The pancakes and the tea became airborne…..
My dad was talking to Mr. Peterson, who was sitting just below the stairs. The pancakes were covered in honey-as I loved them. The pancakes fell on Mr. Peterson and the honey could be seen dripping from his bald head to his chin, as though a volcano on his head had erupted honey. Then the tea -all of it- fell on his newly dressed poodle. Well! I said to my self it served the dog well.
Mr. Peterson got out of his seat and looked upward. he saw me with a grin on my face. Then on seeing his face I exploded out laughing. Then he took his poodle in his hand saying ‘Come! Susie, these people are not worthy of our presence.’ By the time I had come down. He went out throwing a pancake towards me. I caught it and threw it backward in disgust. It hit my dad who went and hit the table, not being able to see. This overturned the vase and it fell onto the sofa and now the newly bought sofa was wet. Then his two antique vases were turning and turning until one fell. My dad who had just got the pancake off his face jumped to catch it. He caught it, breathed a sigh. Then as he was just getting up, the other fell and was shattered and one of the pieces went through my mother’s new dress-which she was hanging in the front room for a party that night. I looked at them. I said to my father ‘space for new vases’ and to my mother ‘new design, I guess’. They both gave me a petrifying look.
Then after getting dressed, I went down. By this time my friend had been waiting for me with a bicycle. I then went with her- on my bicycle. I was riding thinking of what had happened in the morning. Then the thought came to my mind that Mr. Peterson’s house was somewhere nearby, and then I suddenly dozed off, while we were going. I went towards a cat. The cat, on seeing me, sprang from the ground and landed on the front windshield of a small truck carrying cement. The driver was unable to see and went crazy on the road.
Mr. Peterson was washing his new car in the front of the house, while his old car was parked some distance away. The truck somehow went and crashed on a lamp post near Mr. Peterson’s car. The lamp post fell down onto Mr. Peterson’s new car, we could see some sparks and a ‘bhoom……!’. Then the piston somehow went on and the cement poured down and his old car was up to its top in cement. Now I could hear Mr. Peterson’s voice ‘Nooooooo……! Oh! Oh! My beautiful cars…..’ by this time the whole neighbourhood had come out. The cat had disappeared and only left behind some footprints in mud and I had made a run for it- precisely speaking I got out of there on my bicycle.
Now, to get to my school, we had to go up a slope, we could not cycle so we would pull the cycle beside us as we walked. My eyes came across a pet shop and I remembered about forgetting to take the frog along. I went ‘ooh!’ with my hands on my cheek. I forgot about the cycle, which by now was travelling on a solo journey downward. It was still going down the slope fast indeed. From the cross street a man was coming with a box ‘fresh dairy milk’, my cycle hit the man and the box went flying onto a large truck which became whitewashed. The large truck went on a zigzag journey onto a closed road- it had been closed for construction. It went and crashed into a metal pillar and it went falling, this in turn fell onto another pillar and this went on, till the whole frame of the bridge went into the river. With my hands on my head in surprise and fear I exclaimed ‘oh! By heaven, what has happened?’ I asked myself how a cycle could bring down the frame of a whole bridge. ‘Well! It was not a large bridge’. I took to my heels and fled from there.
Then we got to our class. The teacher had come. I fell asleep while she was teaching- I had come to know of all these incidents after sometime. The teacher went on ‘and Macbeth said to Lady Macbeth: and bring forth men-children only; for they…..’ She had seen me sleeping and said ‘Lilly can you tell me what Macbeth said to Lady Macbeth? hm!..’
I didn’t hear anything. I was dreaming of me in Titanic and in my sleep stood up and sang:
‘Every night in my dreams
I see you, I feel you
That is how I know you go on…….’
Then I woke up with a shock when I heard my teacher scream ‘Lillyyyyyy…..!That’s not what Macbeth said…. Out!...out with you …..Detention for you young lady.’
While I was standing outside I started to sleep and then went down and down until I slept on the floor.
My teacher by now had cooled down and had come to take me into class. When she came out she saw me sleeping she burst her head and screamed, ‘Lillyy….get up and go inside, and dear, please don’t sleep.’
Well! I was then allowed to go in. As soon as I got in the bell rang and next was Mrs. Graces’ class where I was to give my lecture. I was really nervous and above all still sleepy. I got up and, holding up a picture-which according to me was of a toad, I started: ‘This is a large member of this family and is huge and ugly and yucky if you ask me.’ Everyone began to laugh with their mouth wide open and Miss Grace gave me a look from the top of her glasses as though she was going to shoot a laser beam from her eyes at me. When I turned the picture I saw that it was the photo of my aunt- Mrs. Mudson. She was as huge as an elephant. Well! She looked almost like a toad. Now, for my absent minded lecture I was again thrown out of class.
This time I went near the stairs. Almost falling asleep I hit one of the knobs on the railing, making it fall over.
Below, the man who rings the bell was sleeping. The knob fell on his head and he woke up and rang the long bell, which was usually rung at the time of emergency and meant that all children should run out of their classes. I- along with all the other children- ran out and went home- forgetting about detention.
By this time Mrs. Mudson had come over to our house and was having tea. This was when my frog fell from above onto her head. My mother on seeing this said "Mu…Mudson there’s a Fr…. frog on your head." She looked at a mirror and ran out screaming. As she ran out she stepped on my skateboard and went on a fantastic journey down the street. My parents ran after her and almost the whole neighbourhood had come out. By then I was coming from school, and on seeing her shouted ‘hey Mrs. Mudson give me back my skateboard’ and ran after her. Mr. Peterson was coming after his grocery shopping. They collided and the groceries were raining down and the skateboard was still going and on it was Mrs. Mudson and in her hands Mr. Peterson and in his hands was his dear poodle.
They went on a crazy journey; nearby there was car wash and painting center. They went in and came out after some time. Mrs. Mudson’s hair puffed up and the poodle’s too, but Mr. Peterson had no hair on his head - Well! Maybe a little bit of hair. They looked like a rainbow with many colours here and there. Everyone was there and all of them hated Mrs. Mudson for her attitude. I asked her, ‘Mrs. Mudson, were you planning to colour your hair? you could have gone to a beauty parlor. Well! This is a cheap way to do it.’ Everyone laughed with me for the first time in the craziest day of my life.