The Letter(Melody Kuku) Dear Temi,
The Oceans are dried, though not to the last. The sky is dull with no silver lining and I am here alone. Under the harsh gaze of the sun, I stand waiting for you.

I had peace till you came into my life. You spoke of love so beautiful it seemed divine. You wooed away my resistance till you left me clinging to your every word.

Slowly, you took away my thoughts and will while I fed on your smiles. They were my gold.

That day I saw the love text you sent to another woman, I broke. You better and pleaded till I felt guilty for not being perfect enough for you.

I did penance with kisses and gave you me over and over again till I feared you had become tired of me. Still I loved you.

The first time you hit me, I cracked again but you said you were sorry. I hated myself for making you angry enough to hit me. I pleaded on my knees because you said I made you do it.

Though the sting of your palm hurt my cheeks and I had to hide the marks beneath layers of concealer, I loved you. I loved you because you loved me even though you gave me less smiles each day.

Do you remember the day you saw me talking to that handsome new neighbor? You called me a slut in front of him even though he was merely asking for directions to the shopping complex in our estate.

You dragged me by my hair into the house while he cursed at you for hurting a woman. You hit me again and again.

You called me a whore and a cheat. Then you asked me for the key to my apartment and locked me out of my house.

You left me stranded in the balcony and came back drunk while I shivered in the cold. You begged me and told me I made you hurt me.

I apologised to you for making you hurt me. Though this time, I began to wonder if you really loved me. I began to wonder if it was really my fault.

I loved you still even though I had the flu and you left me in my apartment lonely with no food. I had to call that same neighbour who cooked for me.

He told me you were abusing me. He told me I deserve better. He told me I was a precious thing and that I should act precious. I hated him. I hated him for the horrible things he said about you. What does he know? I told him how loving you are and that you hurt me because I made you do it. He called me a fool and I told him to get out of my apartment.

When you finally came to visit, I told you but you slapped me and pulled my ears. You told me I was cheap for allowing him come into my house. You accused me of not calling you to request for help. You forgot you left me in the cold. You forgot I fell sick because of that cold. You forgot you left me sick in bed and never picked my fiftieth call.

I fell, spraining my ankle. You said you were sorry. You even cried and begged me to stop making you hurt me. I asked you how I could become perfect for you. But you said "just be you". Yet being me makes you hurt us so much.

The next day you travelled to Italy. You never told me you had been planning the journey for years. You never told me you sold the land I bought in our name till I went to check the land and met the new owner.

You never told me that you told your family we had broken up. They wondered why I came to their house to report what I discovered about you.

Still I waited for your call, hoping. Though you broke me, you always pieced me back. I was scared to forget you because if you found me so imperfect with all your patience, other lovers would find me worse.

I waited for two years and then I met someone. That same handsome new neighbour asked about you and I broke down in tears.

Steadily for months he took me for therapy and then he loved me. I thought he was crazy when he called me perfect. Who? Me perfect? I hated him for lying to me. He held me and shook me till I hurt. Then he said:

"Stop it! Stop needing validation. Stop thinking you are worthless. What do I have to do to show you how beautiful and precious you are?"

I cried and cried in his arms. Then I began to heal. It hasn't been easy but now I know you lied. You lied to me when you said I made you hurt me. It was you who hurt me. You hurt me because of you not because of anything I did.

I got your letter yesterday. I wonder why you didn't call maybe because you wanted to test the waters first.

In your letter you told me you were coming home because you are being deported. You told me you still love me and that you would marry me. I read there of your wish to start living in my apartment since you have no job and apartment. I am shocked.

I am schocked at how low I made myself seem to you. I am surprised that you think you will find me waiting still for you. Maybe I would still be waiting if my handsome neighbour didn't realize how valuable I am. His name his Tom though you may not care to know.

So I write to tell you that I wait no longer for you. I have finally seen the darkness of your heart and the coldness of your soul.

Now, I wait no longer. I live no longer in the shadow of your twisted love. I wish you all the good you never wished me. My fiance Tom says kind wishes and pity are what I should offer you instead of bitterness and hate.

Goodbye Temi. Goodbye is the word we should have said to each other a long time ago.

Yours not faithfully,
Lara.

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