When she needed me most(Nicole) The final bell rung and I threw my things into my bag and was rushing out of the room when a familiar voice called me back.

"Annaliese, can I have a moment please" Miss Bloor called after me. If it had been anybody else I would have shrugged it off but Miss Bloor is more than a member of staff to me. She is my rock and life saver. She has talked me out of doing so many bad things. Sometimes it feels like she's the only person that's glad I exist. I'm a bit of a loner. Okay, actually scratch that. I AM a loner. But it's not my fault and no, I'm not one of them girls who can't admit it. I had a select handful of friends when I started shipman, but when i couldn't go out at weekends and days out they started to drop me. It's not my fault I have to look after mam and Darcy. I'm in fifth year now and if I'm not in lesson I'll be found in Miss Bloor's room. But I personally prefer it that way. I don't have to worry about making sure I'm wearing the right clothes or the fall outs normal girls have.

"What's wrong Annaliese? Normally you're full of questions I find impossible to answer. I finally do some research and you're all quiet!" Miss Bloor asked.

"Oh no miss. I'm just tired is all" I said plastering a fake smile on my face. It wasn't exactly a lie. I am tired. I'm tired of having to get up four hours before everyone else. I'm tired of having to wash, feed and dress my big sister. And then I have to do it all over again for mam. How is that fair? I'm only 13 for goodness sake! It wasn't particularly easier when the sperm doner was here. He made sure that there was food in the house, but that was about it! When I came in from school, the door was pretty much revolving. I'd open it and come in, he'd be opening it to go out. Then he'd get plastered out of his head, come in and beat mam. I still have nightmares where I see him with clenched fists, and then he'd shower them down over mam, turning her skin black and blue.

Darcy wasn't a planned baby. In fact, he was that plastered when she was conceived that for the whole 29 weeks mam was pregnant, he beat her and called her horrible names. He beat her that badly, she went into labour early. But once Darcy was born there was no denying that she wasn't his. She was him through and through. It was a smaller, female version of him. I don't look anything like him though, thank goodness! Nor do I look like mam. I have dark blue, almost violet eyes, and the most gorgeous, deep red hair. I personally think I look like my great-great-great auntie Louise.

"Annaliese, did you hear what I said sweetheart?" Miss Bloor asked, stirring me from my daydream.

"Yes miss, distracted, prepared.. But please miss the done-dad will be wondering where I am." I said, trying to inch away.

"That's what I've been trying to say princess. Someone phoned social services whilst you were at school today and told them your dad had left and you were looking after Darcy and your mum alone. I'm so so sorry, but they've been moved into a respite. You have to come home with me tonight and someone will be out tomorrow and arrange alternative accommodation. Are you listening Annaliese?"

But the truth was, no I wasn't listening! Someone had told the social, and now my big sister and mam were gone....

"Miss, do you think I could see them or get a change of clothes? I asked the woman who usually let me do anything.

"I'm afraid not poppet. I can't take you anywhere apart from where you're staying tonight. But I'll tell you what. How about we stop on the U and grab a take away for tea and a film?"


*Nicola's POV*

The drive from the school to my house was an icy one. Normally, Annaliese was bubbly and chatty around me, and I felt like we had an especially strong bond. Well at least I hope we did considering I was her mum! I had her straight out of an early relationship when I was 15. But the woman whom Annaliese calls mam is my cousin Jane. And with Jane having cerebral palsy, she was told she couldn't have children. And I couldn't cope. So I gave her to Jane. My baby Patsy. I loved her more than anything, and for that reason I gave her to Jane. I promised I would stay away until Jane was ready to tell her but I couldn't do it. I knew about the struggles Jane, Darcy and Annaliese were going through as soon as they arose. But I offered my help and was told, very rudely, to buzz off! But I couldn't. So I got myself a job at her school.

"So Annaliese.... What would you like for tea?" I asked the quiet child.

"I don't mind Miss Bloor, anything" she replied politely.

"So fish or chips or a nice ruby murray? And please poppet, call me Nicola."

"Ruby murray? I'm ever so sorry Nicola" she tested slowly "but I don't understand."

"Ruby murray is rhyming slang for curry, and might I just add, you have impeccable manners!" I said softly.

"Well in that case then Nicola, fish and chips please, lots of salt and vinegar!" She said, nodding almost.

"And do you know what film?" I asked almost dreading the answer. I hated musicals.

"Wellllll, either hairspray or sister act please Nicola!"

Three hours later we were full up from our fish and chips and massive ice-cream sundaes and Annaliese was all sung out, after quoting WORD-FOR-WORD the script of hairspray and we were just sat talking.

"So Annaliese" I said, slowly testing the waters " why didn't you tell me about what was going on? I can keep a secret you know!" Understatement of the blinking century! How long had I kept mine for?

"....it's just... Oh nicola!" She exclaimed before breaking down "I can't lose my mam! And anyone I've ever told before had told the sperm doner and he threatened me and said that if I told anyone our business again he'd hit me!" She cried hysterically.

"Hey, hey, now come on princess! Shhh! No one, no one I promise you will ever hurt you whilst I'm here okay Patsy?" I tried to reassure her whilst giving her a big hug.

"Urm, miss, Nicola, my names Annaliese, not Patsy."

Ut oh! What had I done? Should I just tell her? "I know that silly! I said poppet not Patsy! Anyway, off to bed! We have school tomorrow!" I said with a wink. Like the good little angel she is, she went straight up to the spare room and when I followed ten minutes later she was flat out.

"Annaliese" no reply. "Annaliese?" Again, no response so I decided to risk it. "Goodnight my beautiful little angel. I love you Patsy and mama won't ever let you go again. I promise."


*Annaliese POV*

"And mama won't ever let you go again" the same line was going around my head. "And mama" "mama" what was going on?

I woke up at what was normal time for me, around half three and started to get ready, not yet realising where I was, where Darcy was, as what had happened last night. As I was about to go and wake Darcy in my normal routine it eventually hit me. I was alone. Slipping downstairs I did the only thing I could do today. Try and get answers. Flicking the switch on the kettle I put two mugs out. One for Nicola and one for myself and grabbed her phone....

Phoning into the school sickness worker I reached her voice mail, obviously. I informed her that Miss Bloor had a twenty four hour sickness bug and I was off due to 'family circumstances' and set on to make the tea. Slowly, walking up the stairs, all I could do was pray I didn't slip or trip over her cat. Reaching Nicola's room I was unable to open the door via the handle, so I had to hip barge it. Walking over to her bed, Nicola didn't even stir, so due to having no free hands, I had to nudge her with my foot. It wasn't until the fourth nudge that I actually got a response. And even then it was a 'nudhffff'

'Someone's not a morning person it would seem' I muttered to myself before raising my voice a bit more. 'Miss, Nicola, it's me, Annaliese. Wake up. We need to talk. But I have tea so don't worry. But I would worry about the fact that I want information."

"I'd love to chat poppet, but I have work, and you have school. And it's only ten to blinking four! I have three more hours of sleep! So out!" She said, pointing to the door.

"Actually, I'm off due to family circumstances. You, however, have a twenty four hour sickness bug. Now sit up! Take your tea and spill. No, actually, take both tea's, I need to spill!" I practically threw the teas at her and rushed to the toilet. Slowly, I walked into her bedroom. Bracing myself for what was coming next, I took my tea back.

"Look, I heard you last night. What was that about?" I asked honestly, not wanting to skirt around any longer.

She started all this about how my mam was popular, and a good person, the general type of story you tell to put something off when i had to say "look sorry, but cut the bull and explain please."


*Nicola's POV*

"Look, sorry, but cut the bull and explain please" oh sugar. Here goes nothing.

"When I was fourteen, I thought I was hopelessly in love with my boyfriend Max, but it didn't work and I ended up being a fiveteen year old mum. And I'm not going to lie. I loved that baby more than anything, but I couldn't cope. So I gave her to my cousin. Lets try and guess who that baby is shall we? She is incredibly kind, always makes me giggle, she comes out with some of the weirdest questions ever, she has beautiful eyes and is the image of her daddy. Her birthday is 16th February and her name is Patsy, but you might know her better as Annaliese." Watching all the facts register I couldn't quite tell if the look on her face was shock or what.


*Annaliese's POV*

"YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT WHILST I'VE BEEN STRUGGLING WITH MAM AND DARCY, YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING, KNOWING?" I exploded "Is that why you've helped me? Because you felt obliged to? I don't need you! I've fended for myself for the past three years, I can do it until they find alternative care!" I shouted, storming down the stairs.

"No Pats-"

"It's Annaliese for gods sake!" I growled

"Fine then Annaliese! I lost you once, please not again" she begged me, whilst on her knees. I shook my hands out of her grasp and stormed out side into......


*Nicola's POV*

Do you know when you hear a baby screaming In pain, or when they're scared and all you want to do is scoop them up and take it away? Well that's all I heard. My baby girl screaming in agony, her last words screaming my name as...as... As the lorry hit. It hit and all I heard was 'Miss Bloor' she called to me during her last few breaths and I had froze. I wasn't there when she needed me most. My Baby Girl.

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