Forever a Changing Status

I know a boy.
He’s amazing.


He was a stranger.
He was a friend.
He was a crush.
He was a best friend.
He was a distant friend.
He was a crush.
He was a best friend.
He was a boyfriend.

Now... I don’t know.

He is a best fiend
He is a friend
He is a stranger



I moved to Magnalea in 2007
He went to my school
He was in my year
I didn’t know him
A year later I still didn’t know him.

He was a stranger


A year and a half later we spoke
A year and a half later we were IM-ing

He was a friend


2 years later we had p.e together
We still didn’t speak except from our IMs
2 years late I realized he was different
He was sweet
He was nice to me
He was there for me

He was a crush


2 and a half years later we swapped phone numbers
2 and a half years later we were texting until all hours of the night
2 and a half years later, I knew his favorites and his hates
2 and a half years later we swapped secrets
2 and a half years later I trusted him

He was a best friend


We texted all the time. Silly things. Serious things. Everything.
Me: I love the moon so much. I stare at it sometimes and I’m just lost in thought
Him: I stare too sometimes and I know that while I’m looking up at the sky, you’re somewhere else looking at it too and I feel like we’re connected.
Me: Don’t be so cheesy.
Him: You know you love it
Me: Maybe but that’s no excuse!
Him: Okay I’m sorry I will refrain from any more cheesy comments.
Me: Thank you; How have you been recently?
Him: I’ve been great. I’ve got a friend. Someone I can truly confide in.
Me: That’s really great. Who?
Him: Oh no one special just this girl I text. ;)



3 years later we would talk everyday
3 years later we wouldn’t talk for weeks

He was a best friend



3 and a half years later he got a girl friend
3 and a half years later we didn’t speak

He was a distant friend



4 years later he needed me
4 years later we were talking everyday again
4 years later I realized how much I missed him

He was a crush



4 and a half years later he broke up with his girlfriend
4 and a half years later he needed me
He needed a friend, someone he could trust
4 and a half years later I was there for him
4 and a half years later we still didn’t speak face-to-face

He was a best friend



5 years later and I found out I was leaving the country
He was there for me
I was a wreck
He was bummed

He was a best friend



5 years late we sat in a physics classroom texting
He was just behind me
We still didn’t talk face-to-face
Until that day

He was a best friend



I was setting up for an experiment with my partner as was the rest of the class. I must have been looking upset because there was a tap on my shoulder. I looked up and he stood there, looking down on me through his glasses.
Him: Are you okay?
Me: I’m fine
I plastered on my most convincing smile and then he just stared at me. For a second we were both just in this frozen moment staring at each other; me with a fake smile on my face and him with his eyes looking worried. After what had felt like years but as only a few seconds he smiled and went back to setting up his experiments. Not minutes later was it that my pocket was buzzing. He had texted me.
Are you really okay?
And then I knew he was really and truly there for me. Then and there he was my best friend



5 and a half years later we spoke
Face-to-face
I worked up the courage to sit with him at lunch
We sent the whole lunch time laughing and talking

He was a best friend



5 and a half years later we hung out together
Just the two of us
No easing it into the system by hanging out as a group
We dived right in
We watched a terrible movie
We walked around for a while
We went home

He was a best friend



5 and a half years later came the last day of school
He walked me to my bus
He even carried my bag
He hugged me goodbye
It wasn't a quick hug
It wasn't a slow hug
It was an unforgettable hug

After that we texted everyday
After that we texted all day

He was a best friend



5 and a half years later we realized that it would be stupid not to hang out
I spent most of my summer with him
14 movies at the cinema
6 Disney movies watched on my laptop
9 smoothies
5 meals
8 rounds of bowling
1 night spent talking on my balcony
4 times he met my parents
6 times he offered me his jacket
A lot of walking
Sometimes it was just the two of us, sometimes we ran into other people

He was a best friend



5 and a half years later summer ended
We watched Bambi

He was a boyfriend



The Day We Watched Bambi
He was in my room. We were in my bed together under the covers, it was all innocent, we were just cold. He wrapped his arms around me, trying to stop my shivering. My head lay on his chest listening to his heart beat. The movie ended. We lay in silence for a while. I closed my eyes.
Him: Are you sleeping?
Me: Yep
Him: Good, you need your sleep
His tummy rumbled.
Me: *trying to sit up* as much as I’d love to sleep we should get you some food
Him: *pulling me back down and into him* no, I don’t need food if I’ve got you
We lay in silence again.
Him: I’m going to miss you
Me: I’m going to miss you too but at least we’ve got no regrets right?
Him: Maybe one
Me: What’s that?
Him: Guess
Me: No
Him: Do you like me?
Me: Of course, you’re my best friend
Him: And you’re mine but do you umm like like me?
Me: I uhh ummm maybe
Him: Not an answer, yes or no
Me: *sigh* Yes
Him: Can I kiss you?
Me: *nods*
And then he kissed me. It was soft and gentle, it didn’t last long but it was perfect. We pulled away smiling like fools. I truly was on cloud 9.




5 and a half years later was our final goodbye
He hugged me
He held me so close and so tight
We stood hugging for literally five minutes
I was on my tip toes
I was shaking because I was crying
I was shaking because I couldn’t carry the weight of myself on my tip toes for so long
But with every shake he just held me closer
He did his best not to cry
I caught a tear, just one, escape from his eye
He kissed me
I kissed him back
We said good bye
And then he was gone

He was a boyfriend



6 years later and we had been together for 3 months
We ignored the distance
We talked every day
He said he loved me

He was a boyfriend



6 and a half years later the sparks had faded
It ended
The feelings were still there it was just too hard

He was a best friend



Today I don’t know what happened
I don’t know what went wrong
He won’t answer my texts, IMs or emails
I don’t know what I did

He is a best fiend
He is a friend
He is a stranger




I still love him. I have loved him for years I just didn’t always know it. Nothing will change how I feel about him. His possible rejection won’t do it, the constant flirting with boys won’t do it.
I loved him then, I love him now and I will continue to love him.
The love may fade but it will never die.