sometimes it really hurts

sometimes it really hurts(soumya ranjan Bisoyi) The date was 10th November. In that day Pratham was full of activity in his work. He was in his morning shift. At first he was working with ADIDAS, India. That was located at gurgaon. According to his name he was the most idyllic guy. He was very much intellectual, heartfelt, as well as fine-looking. He was very much a straight-thinking guy. After his bachelor degree in Engineering and technology, he had got a job in ADIDAS. And due to his uphill struggle, and fortune after completing 2 successful years in India, he was shifted to ADIDAS, Amsterdam. And that was the golden epoch for him. But in all honesty he was not happy for it. Something was going on in his mind. Something had happened with him. He was in a close relationship with a girl for the last 4 years. But some misunderstandings had taken them apart. So he was very upset. But the fact is we can not mix our personal life with our professional life. What ever it may be we have to work for them. So without any objection he went there. At first life was not easy there for him. But with time, he was trying to adjust with the new environment. But till that time he was thinking about the girl. And that girl was Tasha. Tasha Sachdev. Something was in her name, which had spellbound Pratham towards her in their foremost encounter. It was the first day of his Bachelor degree. And that enticement had translated shortly into love. And after that they had started to deliver the inner feelings between them.


Pratham was in his own dream world. He was thinking about such things. Suddenly his phone rang. Inside the plant the atmosphere was too noisy. So after a long time he received the call. After the usual greeting, he heard a female tone from the other side. So thinking for a while he uttered:


May I know who this is?

Hello! Am I chatting with Pratham Ahuja? (From the other side)

Ya. (Pratham said)

Pratham! Shruti here. Tasha’s friend. (The other one uttered)

Shruti……. (Pratham thought) Ya, Ya I got. Anyway, what materialized for you to call me? And how did you get my number?

Leave that Pratham! I will tell that later. (Shruti said) But I have news for you. And that will be painful for you. (She continued) Still I presumed to tell you. Please do not take it in other way.

OK, let me know first! (Pratham said excitingly)

20th November is going to be a deplorable day for you. (Shruti told slowly)

Whyeeeeeeeeeeee? (Pratham said)

It is Tasha’s engagement day. (From Shruti)

Whaaaaaaaaat!? (From Pratham)

Ya Pratham it is true. (From Shruti) I know this news will miff you. But I was enthusiastic to tell you. So I searched your number here and there. And finally got it from Rima. (Shruti continued)

Rima? (Pratham questioned)
Your cousin's sister, Pratham! (From Shruti)

OK, then. (Pratham) I have to go now to the field. So bye. (He continued)

Listen, Pratham…… (Shruti) I am sorry. I gave you ache. (She continued)

Do not feel sorry. And I will talk with you later. (Pratham)Byeeeee. (He said)


Then he disconnected the call. And after that the state of affairs was unbelievable for him. He had not thought this in his dream also. Tears came down from his eyes. All of a sudden without any thinking he came out of the plant. The peripheral world was much different for him at that time. Hurriedly he dialed Shruti’s number.


Hello! Shruti…. (Pratham) Is that true? Please tell me. Please tell me that you were teasing with me. Please dear please tell me.

I was not joking with you Pratham! I am serious. (Shruti told him and continued.) That is on 20th November.

But how it can be possible? (Pratham) I can not reckon this.

I realize your feelings Pratham! But it is only true. (Shruti)

But how? Shruti! How? (Pratham) How did she do such things? Then he cried.

Listen Pratham, please listen to me. (Shruti)

Please do not suppurate dear, please.

You have to believe this.

Shruti! Is she doing this by her desire? (Pratham)

Ya… I think so. (Shruti uttered)

I did want to make aware you about this. That’s why I told you. You know Pratham! We have to admit our luck. We can not revolutionize our luck in our way. So get this in your mind, and have power over yourself.

Then she disconnected the call. The words of Shruti were hurting him with razor-sharp pins. There was only one thing going in his mind. How did she do this? They had some erroneous belief, argument, etc, etc. but he had not thought this type of stuff from her. This is out of his anticipation. Sea of questions were running in his mind.

How did she do this?
How did she take this type of decision?
Did she take this decision herself or did by some pressure?
Why did not she think about him?
And finally what will he do now?
He was saying to himself: how will I live now?
Can not I get her?

His life was out of the question without her. Then he thought for a long time. And after much thinking, he took a decision that it would be better to praise her thinking. It is not good to force or pressure someone to do something. If she has taken a decision, then maybe it is good for her. She may not live with me happily. And I may not be apt for her.

At last he again dialed Shruti and said:

Hello, Shruti! I want some assistance from you. Can you?

What sort of assistance Pratham? (Shruti questioned)

Shruti… I want to come for her engagement ceremony. (Pratham)

Whaatttttttt?! (Shruti)

Ya Shruti. I want to. (Pratham)

But, why Pratham! Why? (Shruti)

I don’t know that. But i….. (Pratham)

You can not put up with that situation dear. (Shruti) It will hurt you.

I will handle that. (Pratham)

But her parents and relatives will see you in a different way. (Shruti)

I do not care about that Shruti. (Pratham) I will not make any drama or any conflict there.

But…… Pratham……… (Shruti)

Please Shruti plzzzzzzzzz! (Pratham)

What will you do there? It will hurt you. (Shruti) And how can you see your love with another guy?

I can Shruti! I can. (Pratham) And that word hurt has become normal for me. I feel that thing in a usual manner. I just want to come and catch a glimpse of my fairy. Who knows, maybe I will see her for the last time. I will not snivel there. I will not make any useless situation. I will see her for sometime. And will give some wishes and blessings. And will pray for her better future. So plz Shruti plz!

OK, come. I will be there with you. (Shruti)

Thanks Shruti thanks. (Pratham)


After that Pratham started his preparation for the voyage. By informing the authority of the factory he left for the ceremony. First he arrived in his home. His approach was a dramatic thing for his family. But he did not tell them anything. He told them that he had come due to some personal work. It was 19th November. In the evening he rang Shruti, and she picked up the phone.

Hello Shruti! Pratham here.

Ya Pratham, tell. (Shruti)

Did u reach?

Ya. I am in Berhampur. (Pratham)

Pratham please think again about it. (Shruti) Is it good for you to go there? How can you handle the situation? Can you see your girlfriend with someone else?

Ya Shruti, I can. (Pratham)


On 20th November evening he went to the ceremony. Shruti guided him. It was going on in a vast community center. He saw an exquisite arrangement inside the hall. The hall was looking pleasant. All of a sudden his eyes fell on the most bravura design of the almighty. That was nothing other than his love. That was Tasha. She was looking attention-grabbing. By looking at her Pratham forgot about the present situation. Some past colorful reminiscences played in the upper most part of his body. In the meanwhile a slight thrust of a lady dragged him to the present situation. And dramatically that was Tasha’s mother. She had become flabbergasted by looking him. And terrifyingly said:

Pratham!!!!!

Namaste aunty. How are you? (Pratham)

Nnnnnamahhhsteeeee. I…..am……..fine. (She said)
Butttt………

What happened aunty? (Pratham) Why are you responding like this after seeing me? Couldn’t you recognize me? Aunty, I am Pratham. Pratham Ahuja. I have come to see the engagement ceremony of your daughter. Though I am her one of the good friends, still she did not invite me. I knew this from Shruti. So I came. Cannot I come to my best friend’s engagement?

I can not believe this Pratham! I can not! (She uttered) How could you? Here everything will hurt you. You can not bear the scenes. And another thing, I am sorry beta. I could not do anything for you. I tried hard. But she took her own decision.

Do not feel sorry for me aunty. (Pratham) It is not your slip-up. It is only my destiny. We can not do anything versus this. From the starting of my life luck has played game with me. So I have known to fiddle with it. Do not worry about me. I won’t make any dilemma here. I have come here to see her for the last time. So please aunty give me a chance to do that.

Tasha’s father and brother even became dazed. But her mother managed the situation. Pratham was standing in a corner. He was looking at his love smiling. And he was crying inside. Then within a few moments his feet moved him towards the stage, where Tasha was. He went there and greeted the couple without any thinking and with a regular smile and said:

“May your engagement be the beginning of a lifetime filled with special love & happiness.”

Everything was possible for him. But not for Tasha. Ongoing scene was out of her expectation. She became dumbfounded. She could not utter a single word. She could not even visualize his presence. The scene was like a dream for her. Then Pratham moved towards Tasha’s Fiancé and said:

Anyway, I am Pratham.

I am Mayank. Mayank goswami. (Mayank said)

I am a friend of your Fiancée. we are college friends. She is a good friend of mine. And a nice girl, with a good personality. (Pratham)
You have got a gem dude. You are very lucky. It has not written on everybody’s fate. Okay, enjoy your life.

After saying this he came down from the stage. Then suddenly by taking an excuse from Mayank, Tasha came to Pratham and said:

Hey! Pratham... (Tasha) How are you?

Hmmm... Fine. (Pratham)

Then Silence captured them for sometime. Suddenly Tasha said:

Won't you ask me how am I?

Yyyyyaaaa yaaa. (Pratham)
Haaaow aaaaree yyyouuuu?

Faaaaine. (Tasha)
How is your job going on?

Quite good. (Pratham)

You are looking very handsome. (Tasha)

Thanks. And you are looking gorgeous as ever. (Pratham)

Again a silence created for some time.

Pratham! I am sorry. (Tasha) And won’t you ask me the reason for swindling you?

Sorry for what? And what is swindling? (Pratham)

I want to tell you the reason Pratham! I know I have done that with you. (Tasha)

I don’t want to know that. It’s your life Tasha! And you have the full right to take your own decision. (Pratham)

I know we both have seen many dreams. But I only devastated all those things. (Tasha)

It is not good to evoke the past Tasha! And it is simply not good at this time. (Pratham) Remember one thing: life is a one way road. We can see that. But can not go there. So why think about that! You are going to a new life. So just forget about those things. Live with the present and plan for your better future. Past normally gives us pain. Though it has some unforgettable memories, those are useless for the present. It restricts us to go in the forward direction. So why will we think or recollect that? You have taken a decision for your present and future. So you must right. You are very nimble-fingered Tasha. So you might have taken the right decision. Therefore I will not ask you, why you did this.

Bbbbbuttttttttt Pratham……….. (Tasha)

I am happy for you Tasha. I always want you to live happily. (Pratham)

I am haaaapppyyyyyy.

I may not be appropriate for you. So do not think about me. I am really an unblessed Tasha! So my dream remained in the dream only. That is the woe only. But do not worry. I can manage it. And another thing is you may not be able to live with me happily.

No Pratham that is not the reason. (Tasha)

Whatever the reason it may be Tasha! Leave that. (Pratham) It is your engagement. You are going to marry soon. Your Fiancé is waiting there for you. So leaving all the things, just cherish it.

You are really a batty Pratham. (Tasha)

Ya Tasha, yaaa I am. I am mad for y………. (Pratham) Anyway, I have executed my dream. I am leaving. Enjoy your life. I had come here only to see you. I know, I can not see you after this. So I did that. I have to go now. Anyway I have brought something for you. Please accept it.

Then he gave her a beautiful red tiny box. And by saying good bye to all he left the place. Tasha was standing like a stone. The past memories were playing inside her mind.

Suddenly Shruti called him from behind. She started crying by holding him. He was trying to make her normal. Then she uttered:

I had listened much about you Pratham. But today I saw those things about you. Really you are out of the ordinary ones. I am bowing my head in front of you. Here is something from Tasha for you.

Pratham took that. That was a silver colored envelope. He opened that. And a piece of paper was in that. He dragged the paper from the envelope. Something had been written in that. He started to read.

PRATHAM, Here is the girl who loved you from her standard 8th. And her heart is telling that she loves you till now. Ya Pratham, it is Tasha speaking, your Tasha. I had not thought that I would marry anyone except you. I had seen many dreams with you. And we both had designed about our living, home, even about children. Once we had a quarrel on the children issue. You were enthusiastic for one child. And I wanted two. We had exchanged blows for three days. Those days were very nice Na! I am remembering the dates, the movies and the times in the parks with you. I was teasing you that you are not much romantic. Every time I have to start romance. And you were trying to be serious. But you could not. How nice those days were. I know you got the news about my engagement from Shruti. I had no guts to tell you about it. Tell me, how can I? But she did this. So I thanked her. Pratham, we had some quarrels, some misunderstanding. So I had told you some hard words. After that you had promoted to Amsterdam for your job. You know Pratham, when I heard this news, I danced crazily. I was very happy in that day. I thought that all our dreams will become true.

Pratham, I know I have devastated your life. I left you in the middle. You had not thought that I would do something like this. From me you got much pain. But Pratham I had not thought this in my dream also. I am doing this due to some mistakes. I cannot live without you. Still I love you. But I have to do this. I have thought to tell you about this many times. But I could not. Now I have to tell this to you. Otherwise you can not know the truth, and people will take our love in an ordinary manner. And I do not want this. Our love was pure, and it is. It was not for the time pass. It was for a life time. It may not be like the famous love stories of heer ranjha, shoni mahiwal. But it had the purity, and beliefs. Pratham, when you left, I missed you much. I had tried much to talk with you. But I could not, I failed. I had scolded you and asked you not to contact me. So you did not contact me for a single time. I was missing you more than ever. And in this way two months had gone. I went to Mumbai for the job in Sankalp Semiconductor. I had not any liking. But forcefully I went there. There also I was feeling very lonely. All were asking me about it. But I had no answer. Within a few weeks a new face came in front of me. He tried much to know about the matter. And he was trying his best to make me happy. And that guy was Mayank. Mayank Goswami. It was an off day of us. He called me for an evening coffee. He bound me to tell about the facts. And what happened to me I do not know. I told him all the things, and started crying. He made me calm. From that day onwards he tried to make me normal. With some amusement, jokes, parties and movies he tried to remove my loneliness. He tried to motivate me towards the work and the new environment. And within a few months, I became normal. I gave interest towards the work. But till that time I was thinking about you. Suddenly something happened. It was Mayank’s birthday. He had invited me to his home. Our other office staff were also there. Then we celebrated his birthday. At that place also I was feeling something different. Everyone left the place after the party. When I was leaving his home, he asked me to stay for sometime. Then he came to me and said:

Tasha, what happened with you?

Nothing. (I said)

You were not happy in the party. (He said)

No I was. (From me)

Look Tasha, I know what you are thinking. (He said) Sometime, we have to adjust with the situation. And that is only what life is.

But I can’t Mayank, I can’t. (I cried) Every time Pratham’s face is coming in front of me. I can’t live without him.

Then suddenly he came to me and held me in his arms. I was crying at that time. I leaned on him. After that something took place Pratham. And that was out of my imagination. At that time I was in the dream. When I came to reality, I knew that I had done a big mistake. He assured me that it was not a mistake. Why I did this I don’t know, Pratham. But I have done that. After that when I came to my home, I thought that I have done some capricious work. I have broken the credence of you. I cried a lot. I yelled for the misdoing. But the thing had already been done. Even I thought to tell you about this. But what would I tell to you Pratham? Then I thought that you will not believe this. So after a long thinking I decided to go away from your life. But that was not possible for me. Then I set up my mind to marry Mayank. It was the hardest decision of my life. Still I did that. Really Pratham, I have not played any game with you. Believe me, I have not betrayed you. I knew that, though we had some misunderstandings, quarrels, still we would meet. No one can apart us. But life and fate made me something different. I thought, how will I go in front of you? How can I live with you with such big misdoings? That’s why I took this decision. I know, you will get hurt by this. You will think something different about me. But it’s the truth only. Your Tasha has changed Pratham. Some scratches have ruined her. So don’t think about her. Live your life in a better way. You are very handsome as well as the most decent guy I have ever seen, Pratham. I am not able for you. So you can easily get a girl 10 times more beautiful than me. Find a beautiful girl and marry her soon. And if possible then invite me. I will come. But Before I finish, keep in mind one thing, that Tasha loved you. And still loves you only. No one can take your place in her heart.

Yours but not truly,
TASHA


This letter stunned Pratham. At that day he knew why people always say words like God, Fate or luck. Then with a heavy yelling he told the god:
Hey! Almighty, Why don’t you come to the earth? Please come down dude. You are writing such interesting stories by staying in the heaven. But do u ever feel the feelings of it? What are you thinking of yourself? You have named as God, Almighty. But I know all these names are bogus. You don’t have any guts to face this type of situation. What are you getting by this? Don’t do these types of things. It really…… Hurts.


Then he came from that place towards his car without looking back. But Tasha’s face was playing in front of him.