I Remember...

I Remember...(Marie Wayron) I remember…

I remember… ‘’That woman’’ I hate, but love so much. I remember her crying. I remember blood on her face and tears in my eyes. I remember ‘’that man’’ shouting, that man I long ago forgave and forgot the sins of. I remember being a little girl, crying, not because I was afraid or hurt, but because ‘’that woman’’ was crying… I remember good times too, but very few, and not so clear. I remember a feeling, a feeling of not being alone. Why do I hate ‘’her’’ and love ‘’him’’? It’s a question that’s been nagging for a while now. Why do I love ‘’that man’’ who made ‘’her’’ cry, and hate ‘’the woman’’ that clung on to me so I couldn’t breathe only to cover and protect me. I remember being afraid, and I remember loving. Why? Why did I love that time? Why do I long to get those days back?

I remember running on huge grass fields, showering in waterfalls and swimming in small rivers. I remember picking flowers and a warm summer sun, I remember laying in the dark in the middle of the day, I remember dreaming with Cassiopeia and talking about life with Orion. I remember lying alone on fields of diamonds admiring the beauty of Aurora while feeling a warm chill down my spine. And I remember the old lady next door, who looked at the artwork of a five-year-old as Picasso, and paid with candy. I remember good and bad times, times of love and happiness, and I remember times of fear and sadness, but most of all do I remember what really matters, the good times. I remember my sister telling me ‘’that woman’’ had bought me a living surprise. I remember going back for the first time of my own free will, and I remember meeting ‘’him’’, my first friend.

I remember how ‘’he’’ taught me what to eat, how to run and how to live. I remember standing up for ‘’he’’ who could not speak of his own. I remember sharing tears and happiness. I remember loving. But only for a while.

I remember leaving those green fields and the beautiful sea of diamonds. I remember saying good bye to Aurora and I remember meeting a new friend as I left. I remember Luna; I remember how her shine came down on me, with the same feeling as back then. Like when ‘’that woman’’ had cried. I remember the new diamonds that would always move like the flow of the wind. I remember the blue vast ocean that showed the way, along with Luna, Orion and Cassiopeia pointing which way to go in life. And I remember all of that forgotten in one day.

I remember ‘’his’’ warmth leaving ‘’his’’ body and I remember becoming alone again. I forgot Luna and lost Orion. I remember Cassiopeia disappearing before my eyes and that warmth that I once had disappearing in the matter of seconds.

And now, I finally remember all that I have lost, because I have been found by those who have ridden the flow of life, and have grieved. There are things I can never get back, like when ’’that man’’ and ‘’that woman’’ parted ways, and there are things I still need to find, but for now, I am walking on green, grassy fields and swimming in diamonds moving like the wind. I am dreaming with Cassiopeia and discussing life with Orion, and I am admiring the beauty of Luna. I am not alone, but I still feel lonely, but at least I still have my life to live.