No one can imagine the Vigilance and Veracity this disease uses when it takes over our body! Where did it come from? Why did I get it? Who can I give it to? How do I get rid of it? The answers are simple! The life We live after admitting that a MICROSCOPIC MONSTER has consumed us is the hard task!
What is this LITTLE MONSTER that makes us drink alcohol and use drugs to the point that we are almost dead? It is an abnormality in the DNA of the cells in our body. When other people use alcohol or drugs they usually get sick or well. We on the other hand process alcohol and drugs differently than others: our physical abnormality: THE LITTLE MONSTER screams for us to consume and use more until We are out of control or pickled into oblivion. Some people do not stop their usage and die: they simply DO NOT know that the strongest symptom of the disease is DENIAL: an inner belief that “all is well”, “that’s for other people”, “I just had a few”, or “I don’t act like that”! Others like us CHOOSE the path of recovery and put that LITTLE BLACK & BLUE MONSTER to rest in the lower part of our remaining brain. DO NOT be over confident for the HE-IT-SHE-LITTLE BLACK & BLUE MONSTER is still alive and sits very still waiting for us to screw up our recovery with a drink, hit, joint, or chemical to set it FREE! Once you give the LITTLE MONSTER a chemical it ignites like a bottle of NITROGLYCERIN and takes over your body once again! YOU LOOSE! IT RUNS YOU AGAIN! IT may kill you or give you just enough time to GET HELP and arrest THE LITTLE MONSTER: letting it rest once again in the lower part of your remaining brain.
Again the MONSTER waits! This time for a conflict with anger, loneliness, hunger, or a tired body ready to give in and use a chemical. The LITTLE BLACK & BLUE MONSTER waits for you to shake, sweat, swear, swat, and swerve off you’re program’s course so it can take over again. It lurks every day of our lives: waiting like a silent shark for us to slip, slide, swerve, and select the wrong path to live. The LITTLE BLACK & BLUE MONSTER is put to bed when We do not use chemicals, drugs, or alcohol in any form: HE-IT-SHE is put in a cage and can not get out! When We read the “Big Book” and go to “A.A. Meetings” We put a padlock on the gate to this LITTLE MONSTER’S cage and even further when We call on GOD to save us from this deceitful disease. We turn the key of life over to GOD who then runs our life and is the guarantee that our LITTLE BLACK & BLUE MONSTER will not get out of it’s prison cell. HE-IT-SHE never recedes until We ask GOD to enter our lives and live with us. Every day We spend living with GOD is a day that the LITTLE BLACK & BLUE MONSTER is locked, sealed, and immobilized from our life.
If We take the KEY to our sobriety back from GOD, We then awaken the LITTLE BLACK & BLUE MONSTER! HE-SHE-IT yells to you: have fun-use-what will one little drink or joint hurt? The MONSTER tries, tries, and tries every day to take our life away from us. Then We decide to give the key back to GOD and the MONSTER sleeps. If We decide to take the key back again to the cell that holds this LITTLE BLACK & BLUE MONSTER MANIAC We are playing with the DEADLY DISEASE! We are playing with the probability that We may use again! We are playing with the probability that We may never get to another A.A. Meeting! We are playing with the probability that We may isolate everyone to be alone with this LITTLE MONSTER: who once again takes over our life and leads us on a downhill trip: SOON TO END!
We fight back-give the key to GOD-go to A.A. Meetings and rejoice; since We have a new life! We allow no one to take it from us: it is a life and death fight. We do not expect everyone to know how it feels to look down the “Tunnel of Death” and see that LITTLE BLACK & BLUE MONSTER pawing for our life. We do remember the pain and agony ourselves and the knowhow to keep the RAMPID MONSTER locked up forever if We just (1) GO SLOW (2) GO TO A.A. MEETINGS (3) GO TO GOD (4) GO WITH THE WINNERS and (5) GO TO THE HEIGHT OF OUR AMBITIONS TO SHOW THE LITTLE BLACK & BLUE MONSTER: YOU LOOSE SUCKER! I WIN!
YOU LOOSE! But the HE-IT-SHE LITTLE BLACK & BLUE MONSTER is not dead! The MONSTER lies there in its cell waiting for you and I to make a mistake; so once again it can take over our bodies and help us DIE EMOTIONALLY, PHYSICALLY, and SPIRITUALLY.