Nightmare...(Beki) Catherine rolled restlessly in her sleep. Her mind was plagued with terrifyingly realistic nightmares, about the fact that she would never get home. Never settle down. Never have a family of her own. Those small facts tore her heart into tiny pieces. She wished every night for someone to hold her close, chase away her demons and someone who would accept her for being Catherine, not Captain Brushwood. It was her fault they were stranded here, it was her decision to abandon ship and try to get to land. It was her decision that they should leave everything behind, everyone followed her, she was the Captain, no-one ever argued with the Captain. Especially not Catherine.

One night her nightmare was particularly gruesome, she couldn't make head or tail of it. But she saw her whole crew massacred before her eyes. Blood flew through the sky, plastering her clothing. Tears streamed down her face as she tried to get away from the scene, but her mind wouldn't let her escape; it was determined to punish her for her sins! She screamed and punched the air, pleading to let her go. But she couldn't break free.

Her chief engineer, Sofia, happened to be walking past her Captains quarters when she heard her shouting. Sofia's first instinct was to keep walking and act like nothing had happened. But then she thought, what if her Captain was injured? Or something was happening? She followed her hunches and barged open the door using her shoulder and quickly made her way to the bedroom. Sofia's face whitened and she stood shocked in the doorway of her Captains bedroom. Captain Brushwood was entangled in her sheets and begging to be set free from her dream. Sofia quickly regained her senses and knelt next to the bed. she outstretched her hand and stroked her Captains arm gently, willing her body to calm down.

"Shh... Captain it's OK, it's just a dream. Wake up!" It wasn't working so Sofia clutched her Captains shoulders and shook her awake.

Catherine's eyes were open like a shot. Confusion? Shock? Embarrassment? There were so many emotions swimming in her Captains eyes Sofia found it difficult to plan her next move. So she just kept things simple.

"My apologies Captain, I thought you were injured so I came in to see if I could be of any assistance, my apologies for intruding on your personal space..."
"You had no right Sofia, I was just having a bad dream, please don't let this happen again. It's not good for either of our reputations. Is it now?" Sofia shook her head in agreement with her Captains previous statement. Catherine sat down, rubbing her temples as she felt a headache forming in her head.

Sofia had an idea...
"Captain, permission to speak freely?" Her Captain looked at her questioningly but then encouraged her to continue. "Thank - you, I'm going to be blunt, none of us dislike you Captain, but you have no friends. No-one to talk to, to love, or hold you when you're down. You can protest that you're coffee is your only friend, but you could have friends if only you would let us in. We're like a big clan and then you're on the outside, you're the hard shell that holds us together but no-one can break through to your soft side. Which I am sure you have, even if others disagree." Catherine started to speak - "Nu-uh I'm not finished Captain. You need someone, not a book, not a diary, a human Catherine! Everyone needs an emotional outlet, someone they can just be themselves around and they don't judge you. This is not just a fact, this is an offer Catherine. I will help you through this, whatever you're going through. I hope you take me up on the offer." Sofia then turned on her heels and made her way out of her Captains quarters, expecting to get called back for a bollocking, but it never happened so she carried on walking, wondering what would happen tomorrow.

The next morning the Captain held a meeting to discuss food levels which were almost depleted completely. Her first officer talked for the entirety of the meeting about new ways to obtain food, but neither Catherine nor Sofia heard a word. Sofia gazed absent mindedly at her Captain, who was also out of it! She looked like she had had no sleep the night before after their discussion. Her Captain was worn, disfunctioning, and the weight of the world was placed onto her shoulders, and her shoulders alone.

After the meeting Sofia stayed behind to talk to the Captain. Catherine stood up to talk to Sofia. even standing she was a good half a foot smaller than Sofia; that annoyed her.
"Yes Sofia?" her voice was dangerous and daring Sofia to continue, Sofia ignored her voice and carried on anyway.
"Permission to speak freely?" Catherine just nodded "You look like hell Catherine, I'm sorry for intruding yesterday but it was necessary for you to see what you were doing to yourself. Having no-one is eroding your ability to function. I mean it. You need someone to talk to, even if it isn't me!"
"It's just... I can't... I just..." Catherine's tears threatened to fall as her voice wavered trying to find the right words to express her feelings.
"Sofia, I can't take it anymore, my head is going to explode! It's not stressful physically and even if it was I could cope with it, it's the mental stress that's killing me! Trying to keep up crew moral, as well as my own, I can't do it Sofia, not alone!" Catherine was finding it difficult to stay upright as tears cascaded down her face like a tidal wave. Sofia embraced her and held her close. They both sank to the floor, in one another's arms.

"I'll take that as a yes to my offer?" Sofia questioned cheekily. Her Captain turned around to look at her, unshed tears disappearing from her crystal blue eyes. She nodded profusely and buried her head into Sofia's neck.
"Thank you" she mumbled into Sofia's hair. Sofia pulled her away from her so she could look into her eyes...
"What was that Catherine?" she looked pretending to be shocked, which made Catherine smile; a genuine smile. A smile Catherine thought that she had lost. Lost forever.
"THANK - YOU" Catherine shouted not caring who heard her.
"I knew you weren't an emotionless banana! Even though some people disagree with me!" They both laugh heartily. "Now get up, you're quite heavy!"
"You watch your mouth Sofia or you'll end up cleaning the toilets for the rest of our time here!"
"Oh well, we won't be here long, not with you as our Captain" Sofia smiled as she pulled Catherine up.
"Alright kiss-ass, go and find out what my first officer was saying today because I wasn't listening, and then maybe, maybe! I'll forgive you!" Sofia laughed as she headed off to find Tom.

Catherine was glad that Sofia had found her. Not only found her, but helped her. Helped her find herself and Catherine promised to herself she would open up more and stop being an 'emotionless banana!' Not for the sake of her crew. Not even for Sofia, but for herself, so she could once again enjoy life.

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