Kye

Kye(Alex Wood) KAI

Escape! At last she had found the courage to escape! She’d finally confronted the demons, the bad karma, run of bad luck, whatever anyone would want to call it. She, the prisoner, condemned to a life sentence, several times over, of unremitting misery had run from her gaoler and kicked down the towering walls of her cell; just the open sky, the distant horizon and the wide road to freedom and oblivion lay before her. It didn’t matter where, as long as she was free!
Her foot was on the accelerator. She wanted to press down and feel the power of the engine. Caution told her to hold back, but victory was intoxicating her until she felt that she could almost fly. It was darker now and there was an eerie light as she slipped through the tunnel of trees, the skittish wind sending the leaves scattering across the winding lane. Suddenly a small deer bolted from the trees to the right and stood motionless staring at the car. She plunged her feet on the pedals, but the wheels wouldn’t stop. She swerved, the world turned and turned and then exploded with the sound of breaking glass and metal and the feel of warm liquid trickling down her cheek.
The agony, regret, anger, remorse and pain were infused in a maelstrom of emotions and memories swirling in her mind and slowly coming to rest to be replaced by something new. Somewhere in her lingering consciousness she sensed that she had crossed a threshold. She was indeed now totally free. She was unreachable. There was no need to justify, explain, deny or grapple with survival. She was way above it all; far, far above it all, floating weightlessly in complete silence.

“What are you doing in my garden,” demanded a youthful voice. “Why are you in my garden?” it repeated resentfully. All she could see was the criss-crossing rainbow beams of light and the shadowy shape of a small figure, perhaps a child. “I don’t know” she heard herself say, though it didn’t really sound to her like her own voice. “I’m sorry” she continued. “Where should I be?” Over there said the shape pointing to the distance. She tried to get up, but couldn’t and turned to ask the figure if it could please help her, but then she realised that it had gone. She was alone.
She lay there trying to focus more clearly through the haziness and then at some stage she became aware that it was growing dark. The sky above her was a leaden grey. She tried to sit up, but it was difficult. Movement felt strange. With great effort she peered into the distance and saw that there was a huge building and it looked as if there were crowds waiting all around it. She felt impelled to go there, but walking seemed impossible. Then, she realised that when she focussed on the thought of wanting to move, she moved automatically as if she was floating. So summoning her strength she concentrated on wanting to move towards the building and suddenly she was there, in the midst of the milling crowds. She stared up at the building and saw that it was a huge towering square, with steps ascending to it on each side. The steps were grouped so that every 5 or 6 steps there was a very wide shelf and it was on these wide stone ledges that people were standing together in small groups. They appeared to be locked in conversation with each other, but she couldn’t hear them talking. It was as if they were communicating without speaking. She moved among the people looking closely at them, but they didn’t seem to move aside or even notice her at all. Very gradually, as if in a dream, she moved upwards to the top of the steps and then walked around the outer edge of the temple-like building. Although the sky was almost black, at the horizon’s edge there was a brilliant wide band of gold as if the sun was setting all around. In every direction the landscape was perfectly flat like a desert of pale, almost white dust tinted with a surreal deep gold light.
Feeling that she was alone, she tried to open the huge door for a look inside, but it held fast, so she presumed it was locked. Walking to the next side she discovered a modest oak door that was slightly ajar. Very carefully she opened it just enough to see inside. It was very dark and silent as she slowly and quietly closed the door behind her. A single candle was burning somewhere in the distance and slowly she proceeded towards the glow. At first it seemed fine, like entering a church, but there was a growing sinister aura and sense of impending danger. Two immense shadows spread themselves upon the wall in front of her and she was gripped by the arms on either side. She wanted to struggle but her movements would not respond. She was being dragged through the dark, then through a door into a strange barren snowy white landscape. Twelve standing stones were arranged in a circle and in front of each stone there was a black cloaked and hooded human shape. She continued to try to struggle but one of her assailants raised its hand and in fear she fell silent.
There was a long pause and she felt a nauseating faintness. The figure at the far side of the circle began to speak, slowly, deeply and deliberately.
“The prisoner stands before us accused of, killing an innocent creature. Do you plead guilty or not guilty to these charges?” he demanded, pointing directly at her.
“I’m not guilty of anything” she responded defiantly.
There was a deep sigh and murmuring from the assembled group.
“Do you then deny killing a young fawn?”
“No, but it was an accident!”
“How so, an accident?”
“I was escaping! I had to escape!”
“And from what did you have to escape?” demanded the deep emotionless voice.
“I escaped from a life that wasn’t worth living! I hated my husband. He worked me like a slave and never gave me anything. I had nothing! I wanted to escape that life! Don’t you see?” she pleaded.
“I think I see very well” he replied.
“And if you had nothing, how did you have the money and the means to escape?”
“I took just enough money and borrowed his car just to get me away. I more than deserved the money and I would have left the car for him.”
“So you are a thief as well!”
“No” she protested. “You are twisting everything. It wasn’t like that!”
“The shape of your life tells me that it was” he re-affirmed imperiously. “From what I now know, I see that you are not only accused of killing an innocent creature, but far more; deception, hate, false pride, dishonesty, incompetence and I believe, if I read you correctly, most importantly, you did not even value the gift of your own life.”
There was a pause and a bell tolled somewhere. The assembled circle of hooded beings suddenly turned as one and slowly and silently they turned their back on her and left together. They just left and she stared after them, wondering what had just happened.
She felt alone and abandoned. Everything that had been said was in fact absolutely true and she felt unutterable remorse for her past failings and weaknesses. Indeed she had to admit that sometimes she had been incompetent, but often because her husband’s anger had made her feel increasingly nervous and ultimately incapable of the simplest tasks. But yes, she had plotted and planned her escape and taken the money and the car and when things were really bad she had often felt ungrateful for the gift of life itself and wished that she had never been given it! Well, at least here perhaps she would have peace of a kind, which was actually a very comforting compensation, no matter what lay ahead. And surrendering utterly to the familiar feelings of inadequacy, failure and guilt she lay down and slept.

There was a sensation, like warm breath on the back of her neck and as she awoke she looked up to find a white horse upon which a young man was seated. The young rider had long very pale hair and clear light blue eyes which were staring into the distance.
“Would you like me to take you to the valley he said softly? There are many others like you there.”

He reached down to take her hand and she climbed behind him.
Isolated in this strange planet they wandered for some time in silence and then, to her horror, she saw that the desert fell away. A great canyon spread far beneath them with shear walls of white rock either side.
“Hold tight” he said, as if what was to follow was quite normal and suddenly there was no ground beneath the horse’s hooves! She wanted to scream, but couldn’t. She couldn’t even breathe and then to her amazement they were once again back on the ground picking their way through the rocks and almost white sand of the valley and there on either side were people, just sitting and watching. The horse continued its journey onward until they arrived at a cave and there the young man alighted and then reached up to carry her down. His eyes did not focus on her. They were beautiful eyes, though she sensed that they were sightless. Inside the cave the white sand had been banked up on either sides and then hollowed out into the shape of a cradle. She climbed in and slept dreamlessly.
When she awoke, it was a dark moonless night. She moved to the mouth of the cave and saw that the valley was aglow with thousands of candles and firelight. The guide with the blue eyes was seated by a small fire nearby. “Who are all these people?” she asked.
“Each light belongs to a soul reflecting on their life, waiting for someone, or just grieving or recovering. There is an incredible outpouring of emotion here. I found it almost unbearable at first. There rarely seems the need to sleep, but just to observe and think and be at peace.”
“Are the people here dead?” she asked.
He stared into the distance. “Death” he said “is not the end of life. It is another state of life, like steam or ice to water. It obeys different rules; no measurement of time or physical limitations. Emotions such as envy or jealousy and the desire for power cease to exist. It’s very peaceful. Souls may stay here as long as they like to make sense of their bodily existence or to move on when they are ready.”
“May I ask your name?” she said.
“ Yes, I’m Kai”.
“Ah” she said, “a beautiful name.”
“And yours?” asked Kai.
“Mine, mine is” ... and she laughed as she realised she’d almost forgotten.


“ Take your time” he said.
“My name is ... Jalini” she said, suddenly remembering and they sat and watched and spoke deep into the timeless night. And so it was that in the Valley of the Souls Jalini and Kai shared the essence of their spirits as if the spirits spoke to each other in another language with a deeper meaning than could be conveyed with words. Sometimes they wandered again on horseback and flew above the canyon, seeking out oases where the light scattered into colours and rainbows through the crystal droplets hanging from the fronds of the palms. Jalini asked Kai one day if he saw those colours. “Oh yes, I see them in my heart” he said “more brilliantly than if with my own eyes,” turning and smiling at her. All was perfect.

But, after wandering for a long time in the desert Kai said he wanted to travel even further, maybe even cross over the desert altogether, with her, because now he had all he needed. He said that he had found in her the beauty of the world as it was meant to be and a love that he had not thought possible. With her he could face eternity. And as he spoke, his unseeing eyes looked to the horizon and beyond. A breeze brushed the white sands and sent wisps scattering like foam on a white sea. They knew. Together in the silence their spirits knew.
“I’m so sorry” Jalini said “it’s just that I long to stay but also long to go back and to feel again. Here there is the peace that I always wanted and craved, but I would like to touch life again with all its imperfections. Do you understand how much I want both?”
“I do understand” he said softly and she felt his closeness. So close, so perfect.
And then there was light and he was gone and in his place was someone staring down at her. “Jalini” someone was saying very softly. “Jalini, can you hear me?” And then there were more faces and she could feel the sensation of touch and she could see clearly.

...
Jalini was discharged from hospital some weeks later and with the money that she had taken that fateful day, she journeyed back to her home by taxi. But it was a strange feeling to find that when she arrived there, it was no longer her home. The restaurant where she had laboured with her husband had new proprietors and her sleuthing revealed that he had now gone abroad, obviously believing that he was rid of her and that she would never regain consciousness.


So, she sat in a nearby cafe drinking coffee, as slowly as possible, to allow time to trawl the papers for work and a new life. There was only really one vacancy that looked interesting, helping in a pub restaurant down on the south coast not far from Chichester. There was accommodation available too. By three o’clock she was standing outside the door of the tavern and by the late afternoon she was in a room of her own; a comfortable room filled with warm sunlight, with a little wood burning stove, light bright furnishings and a small newly fitted kitchen area. At the end of the kitchen there was a door leading into the pub garden.
Jalini stepped outside into the gloriously warm sunshine and turned to admire the red and white rambling roses sprawled and entwined over the warm stone wall above and around the door. To the right of the door, set at an angle beneath the roses, was a little wooden bench. She sat down there for a while reflecting on all that had happened and enjoying the comforting caress of the sun on her skin. How very fortunate she had been, as if some unseen force had been there for her at every step of the way. Tonight she could have been homeless and utterly lost, but here she was with a job and somewhere to live. She felt truly blessed. She had a life!
The gate to the garden opened and some people came in with glasses of wine on a tray. Jalini got up to go inside but then noticed that there was a tiny gold plaque fitted to the back of the bench where she had been sitting. She stooped to read it. It was difficult to make out the inscription at first but then she began to decipher it, and as she did, it sent her reeling with the enormity of ... was it just coincidence ... or something much, much, greater; something so powerful that it overwhelmed her and defied belief as it confronted her with the name that was forever written on her heart!
“In loving memory of Kai”.

lon