Peanut Butter & Jelly Wars(Nathan) 1
Lunch time
This book tells the story of how the peanut butter and jelly wars came to be. It all started when two siblings, Tommy and Lana, had some friends, Patrick and Tiffany, over on a hot summer day.
Both Tommy and Patrick were ten and Lana and Tiffany were eight. The four of them were playing outside when Mrs. Lander (Tommy and Lana’s mom) called them in for lunch.
“What do you all want for lunch?” asked Mrs. Lander.
“Peanut butter toast!” The words came out of both Tommy and Patrick’s mouths at almost the exact same time.
“And what about you girls?” she asked.
“Jelly biscuit,” Lana said.
“Me too,” Tiffany said. So, after Mrs. Lander made everybody lunch, they went outside and ate in Tommy’s tree house.
“I love jelly so much,” Tiffany said.
Then Lana said, “Well, Tommy thinks peanut butter is better.”
“Well dah,” Patrick shouted, “so do I!”
Tiffany said, “You’re stupid.”

“Just shush,” Tommy interjected. “This is my tree house so the only people allowed in here are peanut butter lovers.” Patrick and Tommy then shoved out the girls and that was the beginning of the peanut butter and jelly wars.


2
Battle
Now Tommy and Patrick knew what they had to do, so they loaded up. They made peanut butter balls to fling and got on their goggles and smocks.
The girls were also getting ready. They filled water guns up with jelly and they put on swimsuits. Lana also loaded up Sprinkles, her dog, with a jelly filled doughnut to squirt on the boys.
Meanwhile, in the tree house, Tommy and Patrick were having a pre-battle conversation. “If I don’t make it out, tell Sofie VanCarter that I love her and I always have and always will,” Patrick demanded.
Then Tommy said, “Okay, but I doubt that jelly will kill you.”
“How would you know, you’ve never touched jelly before in your life.”
“Good point.”
“Well who…”
“Get down!” Tommy said as a big long squirt of grape jelly went right over their heads, and with that, the battle had begun. There was peanut butter and jelly flying all over the place. Everyone was covered with it.
While Lana was distracting the boys, Tiffany snuck up behind them to destroy them with the Super Soaker Mega Blast 3000, which was loaded with jelly. This plan would have worked if Sprinkles wouldn’t have followed Tiffany and started yapping at her heels. Tommy heard this and alerted Patrick. They quickly grabbed her and ran for the house.
“Let me go!” she yelled. Tiffany punched and kicked, but nothing helped. Tommy and Patrick just kept running straight into the house. With Lana right behind them, they took a sharp left and landed in Tommy’s bedroom. They closed and locked the door, making Tiffany the very first prisoner of war.


3
Capture
Now Lana was all alone. She couldn’t just go right into Tommy’s room. He had a big, “NO SISTERS ALLOWED” sign hanging on his door. Poor Lana had no way of knowing what was going on in that room.
Tommy held down Tiffany while Patrick tied her to a chair. Then they took a big jar of creamy peanut butter, and they each took a big handful and shoved it into her mouth. The horror of this situation was too much for Tiffany to bear and she started balling. All this anger was building up inside of her until she couldn’t stand it, and everybody knows what happens when eight year olds release all their anger. Tommy and Patrick were not expecting their prisoner to jump up, break out of her bindings, and fight back.
Tiffany clawed and bit, attacked as viciously as she could. She fought for at least 5 minutes before leaving the boys tied together, covered with bite marks and peanut butter. Now it may seem that Team Jelly had won, but to Tommy the good part had just begun. For Tommy was an expert on revenge. Unfortunately, this talent ran in the family.


4
Revenge
Obviously Tommy and Patrick didn’t like being tied up and covered in peanut butter. They decided on a revenge that would never be beat. Surprisingly, they were also hit with an unbeatable revenge.
That night Patrick and Tiffany spent the night at the Lander’s house. At about 8:30, the boys were in Tommy’s room and the girls were in Lana’s room. Now since these four were all young, they didn’t notice certain items missing from the room like Lana’s stuffed monkey or the boys’ pillows, and not even Tiffany’s sleeping bag. Well, over in Tommy’s room, the boys were stuffing peanut butter into Lana’s monkey and Tiffany’s sleeping bag. While in Lana’s room, the girls were stuffing pillows with jelly. That night, they all watched a movie and when it was over Mrs. Lander shooed the girls off to bed.
“Boys, you can watch one episode and then you have to go to bed,” she said.
“Only one? Can’t we see two?” Tommy begged.
“OK, but only two.”
Now they would have been able to see both, but instead they didn’t even see 5 minutes because as soon as Tiffany got into her sleeping bag and Lana squeezed her monkey, they were both instantly creamy and light brown.
“Why would you do that?” Mrs. Lander asked Team Peanut Butter.
Tommy answered, “It’s battle Mom, you wouldn’t understand.”
“Both of you… bed… Now!”
Of course that bed included jelly infested pillows that soaked them.


5
Truce
The next day, Tommy woke up and Patrick, Lana, and Tiffany were still asleep so he went to the kitchen to make breakfast. When he got there, he noticed a note on the table that said…
Tommy,
I went to the store to refill on peanut butter and jelly thanks to you guys. I also needed bread. Make breakfast for everybody. Don’t bother the girls.
Mom XOXO
When Tommy read this, he ran to his room to wake up Patrick. They quickly got ready, got on armor, and restored weapons.
Later that morning, Lana woke up to find peanut butter all over her face. Now the next ten minutes are unknown to history, but by the end of that ten minutes, the living room had overturned furniture, broken lamps and vases, and looked like the inside of a peanut butter and jelly beast. This battle was horrific. It seemed like it would never end.
Of course it had to end sometime, and that time came when the garage door opened. They were all frozen scared as Mrs. Lander walked in. She set down the keys, closed the door, looked around and then screamed, “What is going on? I thought I told you to stop! What could this possibly be about?”
“Well, we think jelly’s better…” Lana said.
“And we think peanut butter is the best,” Patrick finished.
“OK, whatever. This just needs to end. Just make a truce.”
Tiffany asked, “What’s a truce?”
“It’s when two or more sides of war make a decision to end the war,” Mrs. Lander answered. “Here, I got some bread at the store. Just put both peanut butter and jelly on two slices, and then eat it.”
So after she had made one of these new inventions for everybody, they tried it and simultaneously all said, “YUM!”
That’s the end. Now you know the story of the Peanut Butter and Jelly Wars and the beginning of the peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

THE END

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