Another Slice Please(Alex Wood) Kay looked at herself in the full length mirror, which she kept propped against the wall in the spare room for occasions such as this. A lifetime had passed since she had seen her two best friends, Joanna and Lindsey, from school and later college. Would she pass the test she wondered? Well of course they knew she was 60 because that is why they had arranged to all meet up and have a celebratory meal. It was just that would they think she looked older or younger than the official tally of days on this earth! And she smiled to herself when she thought of all the anguish that she had endured over the years worrying about what she looked like; the best way to wear her hair, the most flattering clothes and most of all shedding the pounds that went on and came off like some uncontrollable tide. Oh, diets she thought; each one of them linked to boys, and later men, who she had fantasised over or genuinely loved.

The first serious diet had been for Rob. Years of her teenage life had passed in dreams about Rob. She’d scratched his name on the inside of her pencil case, written his name in secret writing on her exercise books and sometimes she had put a picture of him that she had taken one sports day, under her pillow when she went to bed. But the hard truth was that Kay at that time in her life felt she was too unattractive to be liked by someone like Rob. He lived in the realm of her dreams and the dreams of those college years eventually came to an end.

It was now Kay the working girl, who had to try at least to look the part. She quite enjoyed her first job as a short-hand typist, but she knew that she lacked the sophistication that she saw in the other girls. They all seemed so much more confident and when they walked around the office they showed off their figures, whereas Kay preferred to hide hers under her wide selection of cardigans. She was lonely too. She still hadn’t got over Rob but imagined him going on to great success somewhere, never giving her a second thought.

With time she realised that she would have to forget Rob. All the other girls were always talking about their boyfriends and who they had been out with. She still lived at home and felt very immature against their apparent worldliness. To make matters worse, Kay was beginning to pile on the pounds and at some point she declared a full scale war on her figure. It was Simon that provoked the first of many battles by diet. Simon was the boy with hair the colour of ginger nut biscuits, who travelled on her bus to work each morning. For him she valiantly fought against the temptation of chocolates, potatoes, deserts and anything that she regarded as fattening and it was one glorious summer day that he approached her and asked if she would like to go out with him! Would she!? She could now claim to be asked out, just like the other girls. But, oh, what a disaster that had been because he had taken her to a restaurant and after weeks of dieting she didn’t want to eat much and to make matters worse she realised that she was really limited in things to say to him. So love was short lived!

Some months later Kay decided to move away from home and be ‘grown up’. She rented a room in North London and began working at the television centre as a secretary. It was there that she met Paul. Now that was a serious battle! For weeks she lived on special diet biscuits three times a day! At lunchtime she climbed the outside staircase endlessly for exercise to burn off the calories but that was not hugely effective and so she ultimately lost the job and quite quickly after, Paul too. Then with Tony it really was all or nothing. Tony liked girls to be slim and would often point out to her other girls who he found really attractive! So the battle for Tony was waged with lemon juice in the morning, a Satsuma orange for lunch and cabbage and a little potato for tea each day for four weeks. Oh but, the headaches, maybe it was the headaches, but it wasn’t long before Tony went in search of the ready-made variety of size 10.
These memories that came flooding back as she studied her reflection in the mirror made her chuckle inwardly. She had tried every diet ever put forward by people who had probably never personally needed to diet. As someone had once remarked to her, what was in it for the companies to help people to diet? If they achieved the promises that they offered to people who wanted to lose weight, then those happy individuals wouldn’t need any more special products!

Then, of course, it wasn’t just the diets, but the exercise routines that accompanied them. She shuddered as she remembered the time that she resolved to try a new method of attack! Well, in fact, it was more subjugation as she allowed her excess flesh to be frightened into shape with electric pulses. That had been for John who soon left her for a more sophisticated model. Then Jimmy, who coincided with the craze for milk shake diets. Well, at least it was simple, a bit like Jimmy really, who was quite clear about what he wanted from a woman. But she had to admit it was Jimmy who had introduced her to Steve, whom she ultimately married.

In recent years the swings in her weight had been less noticeable and perhaps all the running around after the children had helped. Also, later when she was coping with a job as well, her weight was, she felt, quite acceptable. But then, what was it that men really wanted in a woman? Once when Steve didn’t think that she would be able to pick up the children from school, she had in fact managed to arrive on time and found him flirting quite immodestly with the ‘yummy mummies’, one of them in particular. Later she mentioned what an attractive group the local mums were, just to gauge his reaction and he certainly didn’t hold back. “A couple of them are real little crackers” he stated enthusiastically. “Great figures!” Oh well, perhaps it was time to cut out toast in the mornings!

Still, now she was 60. The kids had all phoned that morning to wish her a happy day and she was going to see her old college chums for lunch. She took one last look in the mirror and then turned away with a smile as she realised that one of the great things about getting older was that the anguish about appearance lessened. It didn’t disappear but she felt more able to respond to her own standards rather than try to conform to what she believed somebody else would like. “Isn’t life strange?” she thought. “All those men and all those diets; all those hours I could have saved! Maybe I should just have been me! Oh well, too late now.” Her thoughts wandered back to Rob all those years ago. She went to her wardrobe, pulled down a box and enjoyed for the first time in years looking at the picture of the young boy running down the track with three others. Gosh, she had absolutely adored him. She’d always been so frightened that she might forget to take his picture out from under her pillow in the morning and that her mother might find it. Still, that was then. Life had been good to her. She had no real regrets. Her children were great and Steve had been a good husband, though now he was retired he spent a lot of time doing what he liked most which was sailing and she winced with the recognition of his disappointment that she didn’t share the excitement of the high seas.

Within half an hour of arrival at Joanna’s house, it was as if 40 years had never happened. There were so many riotous stories to tell and embarrassingly both Joanna and Lindsey had their respective partners with them at the lunch table, who obviously felt a little uncomfortable as the revelations of the girls’ past were recollected in snippets of “Do you remember when ...?.“

Joanna had in fact married Terry, the elder brother of Rob, the object of much day-dreaming by Kay and she wasn’t prepared for the revelation from Terry when there was a short lull in conversation at the end of the meal. “It’s funny” he said “we guys had no idea that you girls got up to such mischief. Particularly, you Kay! You were always so shy and prim and proper,” he said. “My brother Rob would have done anything to go out with you. But I couldn’t get him to ask you and you always seemed to find a way of fading away into the background!” That comment hit her hard like a punch in the chest and she tried with as much aplomb as she could muster to deflect the deep significance to her of what he had said. “He tried to contact you know” continued Terry. “He was married late in life to a girl called Carol. She’s no oil painting but she’s good for him.” Amazed that she was still capable of blushing, Kay acknowledged the revelation with “Really!” Perhaps Lindsay and Joanna knew but happily they didn’t dwell on it and swiftly began clearing the table. “No, you stay where you are, Kay” insisted Joanna. “No work today. We’ll be back in a while!”

Geoff was Lindsay’s husband and strangely enough he was also known to her from their college days. They chatted for a while about gardening and the fact that they both enjoyed holidays in Spain and then he suggested that they walk in the garden. It was a large garden with an orchard to one side and they gradually drifted in that direction. When they were out of sight of the main house he slipped his arm around her. This was the second time today that she had blushed and all her years of experience failed to provide her with a strategy for dealing with this situation. Turning away from him she uncoiled herself from his arm, smiled graciously and remarked on the apples which would provide a heavy crop this year. Problem solved she thought, but then he took her hand. “You know, Kay, your husband is a very lucky man. I greatly admire the way you have kept yourself. Lindsay’s a wonderful woman but she has rather given into the years, if you know what I mean.” Kay had certainly noticed that Lindsay wasn’t a slave to fashion and hairstyles and make-up, but she exuded her wonderful aura of competence and happiness. It seemed that she loved being in the open air, tending her garden, taking the boat out across the bay or walking on the downs. Her beauty enveloped all your senses – rather than what stood before your eyes. “I appreciate the compliment Geoff” she said, “but I don’t need to tell you that Lindsay is a very special lady and a very special friend. My Steve would be more than happy to have his wife go out in his boat. And don’t tell me that you don’t like those beautiful cakes that she cooks”.

Geoff sighed. “You’re right” he said. “No harm done I hope?” “’Course not said Kay.”

Lindsay was calling Geoff to the table where a large chocolate birthday cake was waiting, so apologising he walked on ahead.

“So strange” thought Kay. “What a day!” It had taken 60 years and she still didn’t know what men wanted but maybe she realised that she had wasted a lot of life trying to be what she wasn’t rather than trying to know and like who she really was. Suddenly it seemed to her that all those years of being slavishly driven by an obsession with her appearance had amounted to one ‘pass’ on her 60th birthday and the knowledge that her school sweetheart had felt the same way about her as she did about him!
As the approached the table set in the middle of the lawn, Joanna, Lindsay, Geoff and Terry began to sing a lively version of Happy Birthday and Lindsay held a sharp pointed knife poised above a huge chocolate cake. As the blade sank in through the layers she looked up at Kay and impishly said “Now you’re not on a diet are you?”

“You bet I’m not!” exclaimed Kay, laughing, and taking her plate she lifted the seductive slice to her lips, pausing for a moment, lining up in her imagination all the boys and men for whom she had suffered a denial of delicious things to eat and with a wink at Geoff she let the taste and texture of the chocolate masterpiece work its spell. She had spent years striking things off her daily menu. Now it was the moment to be free and make up for lost time!

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