The Loving Gangster

The Loving Gangster(Akanksha) THE LOVING GANGSTER

Look at her, she looks beautiful!!!
And she did with all the people gazing at her as she walked down the aisle.
Laura knew what she had left behind and what lies ahead. She looked beautiful in her ivory wedding gown with the perfect ruffle and the veil making her look absolutely gorgeous.
“All the best” her father wished her as she stepped on the altar.
Peter was exactly the kind of guy Laura wanted as her husband. Loving, caring, understanding, but did she love him? Did it matter? She asked herself again thinking that after marriage there would be plenty of time to fall in love with Peter, still thinking about it she tried to push the thought at the back of her mind. hadn’t she already been devastated by love, or was it even love? at least from her side it was. She warned herself not to tread on that path again. She was ready for this, ready for such a big commitment when she did not even love him. Once again she looked into his eyes and wished that the shine in his blue eyes wouldn’t fade. The ceremony went along nicely, the priest read out the vows and everybody was happy.

The priest asked for any objection….
“Oh yes I do” a man started walking towards Laura.
“You weren’t invited” Laura shot back. what am I doing, her brain kicked in, I should not be creating a scene here, it's my wedding.
“how does it matter? All the old guy wants to know is if anyone had an objection to this matrimony and I do have an objection, a big one” his eyes were dark and serious. He came forward with a gun in his hand.

Everyone in church was scared to death, but not Laura, she knew he is the only one who can do this. Reaching both the bride and the groom he pointed the gun at Peter.
“Listen man, no hard feelings” he said to Peter “but the woman you are going to marry is the love of my life and I cannot lose her, even if it means that I’ll have to kill u to stop her from getting married to you.”

Peter heeded to the man’s advice and ran away from the altar.

“Oh My God, what’s your problem, can’t you see me happy? You’ve once again ruined everything” Laura managed to reply back. she was way too taken aback from what had happened now.
“I’ve ruined everything Laura? The guy was a tool. you were going to marry a jerk, I mean where is he? He couldn’t even protect you and ran away at the first sight of danger.”
“Normal people get scared by arms and weapons and Peter is not the one who runs with the mafia” Laura’s voice was so light that it was barely audible. Why had he come back in her life, wasn’t ruining her before satisfying enough that he had to come again.

“You don’t get it do you,“ Rashid told her while pointing the gun at her. Futile effort he knew because she was the only person who was not scared of him. “I can do anything right now” he tried to scare her.
“Go scare someone who gets scared, I don’t care if you shoot me, go ahead. You can do whatever you like, kill me even, but that won’t make me fall in love with you.“ liar, she thought, he was the only man with whom she had fallen in love with, but now things were different and she dared not confess her feelings for him.

Laura was dumbstruck to find the gun pointed at her parents. how dare he blackmail her; her eyes were wet, full of fury and rage.

Rashid knew that he was walking on a dangerous road and it might spoil everything, but right at this moment all he thought was how to stop Laura from making a mistake.
“Ok fine I will marry you, but let my parents go.”
“Not yet, my love, not yet.”

The ceremony proceeded and they both were married now.

He had to make things better, Rashid said to himself. He had to make her fall in love with him all over again.


*****


Back at Rashid’s house Laura could still not get over the fact that she was married to the guy she despised the most. If she did not despise him earlier then she did hate him now. How is she ever going to cope with all this, she thought. Wasn’t it obvious that after marrying her Rashid would have some rights, and was she even ready to go through it all again? Her thoughts turned into a nightmare when Rashid walked into ‘their’ room. He already knew what thoughts would have occupied Laura’s mind and was well aware of how to tackle the situation.
“I thought you would have been asleep by now, were you waiting for me? I’m terribly sorry for the delay.“ the slow dangerous smile on his face not only made her angry but also instilled a little fear in her.
“Hostages don’t fall asleep so quickly do they? I thought you had a lot of experience in the kidnapping field.“
“So you think you are a hostage?" he was getting close, so close that she could hear his heartbeat, or was it hers? “Don’t worry, your virtues are in no danger. I’ll try to keep my hands off you“ he said very softly as if he wanted to say he cared, only if he did. He got off from the bed and walked towards the lounger in their room and prepared to go to sleep.

Things will get better. I will make them better, he assured himself.

He was fast asleep with a content look on his face as if he had achieved something he wanted, whereas Laura was far away from it. Throughout the night she kept thinking about why did he do this, because he loved her? no, it couldn’t be true, because if he loved her he wouldn’t have cheated her, he wouldn’t have slept with another girl while they were together.

You’ve got to stay strong Laura, you don’t want yourself in this man’s trap again, he doesn’t love you, he never did, a voice in the back of her mind told her. With one last look at her husband she fell asleep.

Rashid woke up earlier than Laura. He saw her sleeping, looking so delicate and fragile, her face so sweet and innocent. He wished so badly to go there and kiss her awake but he had to control himself as he knew she dint trust him and all this would only create more hassles for him. he had to win back her trust first, but even before that he had to find out what made Laura leave him, he was pretty sure that she was in love with him as madly as he was with her. High time he racked his brain and found out.

After a few hours, Laura woke up. She inspected the room for her husband. Relieved to not find him there she got up and found a note lying on her bedside table.

“Dear Laura,
Sorry I couldn’t stay for breakfast, I’ve got some important work to finish, will try to come back home early in the evening,
Love Rashid“

Laura went downstairs to get a cup of coffee and was greeted with a lavish spread of her favorite food. so Rashid hadn’t forgotten what she liked. While eating she drifted back to those carefree days when they both were together. Those pleasant days when he used to pick her up from her place and drop her to college and back again. Sometimes she would bunk and roam aimlessly with him, or he would invite her for dinner which he would cook, their goodnight kiss which would often turn into a very long and languorous love making, she had loved every hour she spent with him. She loved him. The day passed by and she felt lonely. All alone in that cold icy mansion which did not have even a little bit of warmth. what was so surprising is she had felt lonely from the day they broke up. all she could think of was the man who stole her heart and smashed it into tiny little pieces. As the clock struck seven she grew eager. Rashid had said he’d be home early but there was no sign of him. Her impatience grew every hour the clock struck and it disappointed her.

Rashid came back home at eleven thirty. He had assumed that Laura would be fast asleep but to his surprise she was wide awake, angry and hurt. All of a sudden something came over him, he quickly crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed and placed a gentle kiss on her lips so quickly that Laura didn't even get the time to react, a light gentle feathery kiss, his way of saying sorry, she knew, but with time it grew into a passionate kiss, hard and firm yet so soft, her lips melted under his and she gave into the temptation of kissing him back. a moment later his lips moved down her throat, then on her shoulder blade and back again on her lips. He clung to her as if he was holding onto life, as if he would never let go and then reluctantly he pulled apart.

“Sorry” he said with a smile of a kid who tries to get away with his faults by making an innocent face.
How can anybody not give in? For a moment Laura thought of forgetting everything and pulling him back right where he was a moment back, but her brain kicked in.
“What for ??” she asked. “For getting late? oh don’t worry, I’m used to being lied to and I guess I’ll have to live with it, and maybe I do have a hint what you might have been doing.” she continued, “Or for the kiss? don’t worry about that also, I knew you wouldn’t be able to keep your promise, and isn’t that why you married me in ……”

He quickly placed a finger on her lips “Shhhh…don’t say something which you’ll regret later” his voice was so gentle just like air whispering in her ear. “And even you like it” he traced the outline of her lips with his finger. things are getting out of hand, back up Rashid, he thought.

“Then why did you marry me?”

“Don’t act silly Laura, you know that I didn't marry you for any kind of physical intimacy. I love you woman, why can’t you just accept it? I’m trying to give this marriage a chance, why can’t you? And as far as barging into your wedding is concerned, it was the only way to stop you, I just couldn’t see you making a horrible mistake which you’d regret later. I know that you love me. all I can’t figure out is why u left me. I’m sorry I came late but I really got stuck up in work and I’d like to make it up to you. What do you say let’s go out tomorrow, just you and me, no work I promise.”
His words sounded earnest.
“I don’t want to go”
“C’mon you’ve got to give our relationship a chance”
“I don’t know, I hate you and you are not trustworthy”
“Just think about it and we are going out tomorrow please”
“Ok”
“Good night sweetheart sleep well” he got out of bed and moved towards the lounger
“Wait” Laura stopped him “I’ll sleep on the couch its way too small for you”
“Or we both can sleep on the bed?” Rashid asked her with a wicked grin on that beautiful and rugged face of his.
“Okay but no touching”
“Hmmmm that’s going to be difficult but I’ll try” he placed a kiss on the tip of her nose and slid back into the bed.


A smiling face woke up Laura.
“Morning sleepy head, it's ten am, don’t you wanna go out?”
“Five minutes” said a drowsy but sweet voice. it felt as if their past was back, the sweet mornings they spent together.
“Come on, wake up, I have the whole day planned out, wake up sweetheart”
“you won’t let me sleep will you, you never did”
The devious smile made Laura aware of the newly formed awkwardness between them.
“I did not mean whatever rubbish you are thinking ok? Just keep your wicked mind at bay, can you please”
“Okay but please get ready we are losing time” he replied back.

Laura wore a yellow dress, Rashid’s favorite. It was her favorite dress too because this was what she wore the day Rashid saw her for the first time, also the day when Rashid said he had something important and special to say. The special thing was the marriage proposal and the important news was so surprising that it took her a long time to soak it in. She did get scared but when Rashid promised her that he would leave his job and find a more suitable job for himself, Laura said she needed some time and he agreed. Maybe Laura took too much time when she went to his apartment to give him a surprise. little did she know a surprise was already waiting for her and not a pleasant one.

When she entered his flat to her horror she found a girl in his bed. there was no sign of Rashid but the blonde in his bed couldn’t be ignored. She left the flat in a hurry and broke up with Rashid over the phone. she feared that she wouldn’t be able to do it face to face.

That was all in the past and this was the future, will the future be different? How could she trust a man who had already ditched her once. Looking at herself in the mirror she took a deep breath and stepped out of the room.
“Let’s go” she said in a tone so flat and unenthusiastic that Rashid could understand that she did not want to go.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to go” he said
“No let's go” .


Maybe it was not that easy to read her mind or else he would have found out the reason of their break up. He knew that his being a gangster came as a shock to Laura and it was obvious, but that couldn’t be the reason. He had promised her that he would leave all that and find a new job.
“So where are we going?” Laura asked
“Just thought you might want to see the town. we could do sightseeing all day or take a walk in the park. You decide, you are the boss.”
“Then let’s do some sightseeing and then maybe in the evening we could come to the park and then…………”
“we can go home and I’ll cook dinner”
“Hmmmm interesting proposition, but yeah we can do that if you are so willing to cook for me and I will help ok” she said in a commanding tone.
“whoa what was that all about?”
“what?”
“Your tone speaks loads of your attitude, from where did you get it?”
“Well you were the one to say that I’m the boss, so...” she said teasingly.
“Ohhhh I see”
“can we leave or we won’t be able to do anything”
“Yes Boss”. He laughed.

As promised Laura was taken to all the spots of the city worth paying a visit. In the evening they strolled through the park hand in hand and after such a long time Laura enjoyed and felt happy. Maybe their marriage was worth giving a chance. On their way home they picked up some grocery, some fish and a bottle of wine.

You’re not helping ….. You are distracting me, please get off the shelf or else I won’t be able to cook”
“But I’m nowhere near your cooking area”
“Yes, that’s the problem, you are just sitting there looking absolutely beautiful. How am I supposed to cook like this” he said “come and help me or no dinner will be served”
“How mean” she retorted and got off the shelf to help him cook.
“Do I get a kiss” he asked
“Why ?”
“For cooking dinner” He replied back in a tone which was so full of confidence
“why not, I decide after I eat” she replied back with a cute smile
“Fair enough”


The ice was breaking; Laura was finally warming up to Rashid. Weeks went by and life was never better. He would come home early, help her with the veggies whenever she decided to cook. on his day off they would lounge around the pool sinking in sun, playing in water. Some days he would read her a book, feed her chocolates, watch movies. All this while Rashid kept his promise, not in the least did he try to bed Laura, just a kiss once in a while but nothing other than that. Whenever she visited her mother her face glowed like she was happy with her marriage, and she was.

Later that evening, when she returned back home she found a note addressed to her. It was from Rashid.

“Hi, I have to go to Berlin for a week, sorry couldn’t call you .
I’ll miss you .
Bye
Lots of love
P.S: Miss me“

A week without him, yes she could do it. The next few days were hell, she tried everything but couldn’t find peace. she watched movies, lounged around the pool, ate chocolate, but nothing gave her peace. All she could think of was Rashid. She missed him, the way he took her in his embrace whenever she had nightmares, his feathery touch when he stroked her hair and forehead when she had a headache. It had been only three days and she was already missing him. she sighed heavily, how will the whole week pass. What was wrong with her? she questioned herself. The answer was right in front of her, only she failed to realize and accept it. She loved him, always had, no matter how bad things turned out to be, her love for him hadn’t changed even a bit. It was time that she put her past behind and embrace what she had now. She felt lovely and tingly all over. She felt butterflies fluttering in her stomach, she wanted to call him up and confess her love for him but thought it would be better to tell him face to face. Only she knew how difficult it was to not call him and share with him what she felt.


The week ended and Rashid was to return today. She took extra care of herself; she dressed with extra care and added a lot of effort too. She wanted to look perfect for him. She even wore her wedding ring. She cooked his favorite dishes herself and even managed to prepare a decent meal.
The doorbell rang, it had to be Rashid, Laura got up and opened the door. There he stood looking absolutely gorgeous and handsome, his eyes flowing with happiness. She took him straight to the dining table to the spread she had prepared herself, she flung her arms around his neck and hugged him tight.
“Ouch” he gave out a short cry.
“What was that?” she sounded worried
“Laura darling don’t worry its nothing, let’s eat I’m very hungry” he tried to avoid the topic.
“No, it did not sound like nothing. I’m your wife Rashid, I think I ought to know” she said
“ok” he said as he took off his shirt and revealed to her a fresh wound. What, how, when all sorts of thoughts came to Laura’s mind and then she realized.
“I thought u were out of your gangster thing, that you left it” she said still dazed and shocked.
“Laura I can explain, it’s not as bad as it looks”
“Not as bad as it looks? how many times Rashid, how many times will you lie to me” fighting back tears and trying her level best to not cry she continued “you can’t explain it, you can’t explain any of this, neither can you explain this nor can you explain the presence of a blonde in your bed. I should have never trusted you.”
“Laura listen to me once and then…..wait a minute what blonde?” he said totally taken aback.
“The blonde you had in your apartment when supposedly you were out of country, the day we broke up”
“What?” Rashid blurted out still not being able to take in what he had just been told.
“Oh god…I cannot do this anymore, I don’t think I have that strength. I’ll just go and pack my luggage and be out of your hair in no time”
“Wait… no, wait Laura” he stopped her “I want to clear things out, I know I haven’t been much truthful to you but I never cheated on you, you also know that I love you too much to do that. Now just tell me what happened”
“Ok fine, you want to know I’ll tell you. You remember you gave me a spare key to your flat, I was feeling very bad that I hadn’t replied to your proposal so I decided to surprise you, I knew you’d be back the next morning so I let myself into your flat thinking that you would be very happy to see me there, but instead a surprise was already waiting for me. I saw a blonde, half naked, in your bed” her voice was bitter and came in sobs.
“Oh darling, just listen sweetheart” he cupped her face, his voice and eyes were now gentle. “There has been a misunderstanding. My friend had asked me for a favor and I couldn’t refuse him. His wife had a miscarriage and was hurting real bad so he decided to take her on a vacation. since all the hotels and inns were booked he asked me if they could stay in my apartment for a while, as I already had plans going out of the country I thought it was harmless. Now it seems that it was my biggest mistake.”

All this while Laura was listening patiently.
“Oh god it was a really big misunderstanding, I’m sorry, I should’ve asked you before making any assumptions, but that does not really help you with your situation right now…. Sorry for sounding rude but you still lied to me….can you really explain to me why you are so badly bruised?”
“I really don’t want to hide things from you…. ok, I don’t know how to start”
“You know what Rashid, I’m done with all this lying and hiding and whatever you are doing. Today I’ve just realized that no matter how much I love you it’s really not gonna work out.”

Why was it so difficult? Why couldn’t she just march up to her room, pack her bags and leave when she knew that this relationship could never be successful. Why did she have that little hope that maybe things will get better while she knew that now, after all this, she would never be able to trust him, and as far as his trust on her was concerned wasn’t it clear that he had none or else he wouldn’t have to hide things, would he?

“Stop, I know this could cost me everything, but I can't risk losing you again” He was finally ready to tell her the truth. “I am not really a gangster or anything. I never was” he could see Laura’s expression had turned into a clueless one.
“How can you not be?” she asked “And if you are not then how would you explain the guns and arms and all these wounds?” All this was so confusing that Laura did not know how to react, her hands fidgeting, she did not know what to do.
“Stop freaking out, it’s not anything like that……...ok, how do I put this?”
“Very carefully” he heard Laura say, he could see her impatience growing by the minute.
“I am an agent” he finally breathed out, “like the ones in the movies like true lies”
“Oh God, Oh my God, all this time, ALL THIS TIME, you lied to me”
“Stop acting hysterical Laura, it’s not a big deal ok. I’m sorry, I really am, but try to understand, back then I was working as a double agent and I could not tell you the truth or else it would’ve ruined everything, it could have blown up my cover. I promised myself that I’d tell you the truth but before I could do that, you dumped me. I thought I could get you back but things got so out of hand that I didn't even get a chance to talk to you. I really love you, believe me once, just this once please.” he requested Laura.
“If that was the case why didn't you tell me the day we got married?” she had a lot of questions she wanted answers to.
“How could I, I wanted you to forgive me, I wanted you to fall in love with me and not with some agent you never knew, I wanted to gain back your trust and then only I could have told you the truth” he said. “believe me I had every intention of telling you the truth, but not like this. I love you too much.”
“Oh Rashid” tears springing from her eyes and trickling down her pale cheeks, she flung her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.
“Ouch” he cried again.
“Sorry….. I love you too, I just couldn’t confess it.”
“Why?” he asked
“I feared that you might reject me” she said with tears in her eyes.
“Oh dear, why did you think I’d reject you, you are the best thing that happened to me. I would wait for the day break so that I could pick you up, so that I could see you. It was as if my life depended on you. No you are my life. I couldn’t even think of a day without getting to see you. call it obsession if you want but I just can’t think of a life without you. It almost killed me when you left; I was all numb and lost. I knew I had to get you back, not only for me but for us. I promise I’ll never lie to you again, no more hiding, but you also have to promise me one thing. Don’t ever, ever leave me again. No matter how crazy I drive you, no matter how difficult and hard life with me might get. Promise me that you’ll never leave me.”
“I promise.”

The End