Bittersweet

Bittersweet(Carmela Moore) Nathan Addams. That's the boy that I've fallen for three years ago in a football camp. He wore this confident smile and his eyes would twinkle whenever he looked at you. Tall and buff, but sensitive and gentle. Exactly what I look for in a guy. The nice sweet boy that all girls would want. What all girls would fantasize of. What I wanted. But I knew I would never get him. Who would like some messed up freak like me?

"Well, well, well. Looks like Carmelly stalking her crush." I hear from behind me. I turned around and saw my best friend, Annabel. "Oh no, what's up? I didn't mean to..." she goes on. I wipe the tears from my face and give her a half hearted grin. "Heard the news about Nathan?" I say as I glance at the field a few meters away.

Nathan was there with his pals laughing, enjoying themselves and having fun. "Yeah, I know. He's at the park with some freak gang. So what?" Annabel says with an annoyed tone in her voice, yet her face shows nothing but concern. I didn't know how to tell her. That's not what was bothering me. I wanted to tell her, but there was a lump in my throat and I felt like exploding into tears.

"Carmela, are you alright? Your face is really pale and I can't read your expression.." Annabel says. She rubs my back which makes me feel a little better. "He's with... Her." I manage to choke out. Tears started rolling down my face and onto my hands.

Annabel looked at me. Her face showed disappointment with a hint of pity. "How did you find out?" "Well, it wasn't too hard to figure out considering they've been rubbing their relationship in my face ever since he found out." I say bitterly. "Out of all the people in the world, why does he have to like... Denise Gonzales?"

The tears from my eyes were getting stronger. I wiped my eyes with the edge of my jacket and looked away from Annabel. I knew that she knew they were together, but why didn't she tell me? Why didn't she stop it? "Carmela, you have to understand that it wasn't his fault. Denise actually doesn't even like him. She was just annoyed at him from constantly asking her out that she gave in." Annabel said in a calming voice. That did it. I jumped off the bench and looked straight into Annabel's eyes and shouted "BUT SHE KNEW. SHE KNEW THAT I'VE LOVED HIM FOREVER. SHE KNEW HOW MUCH HE MEANT TO ME. HOW MANY MORE GUYS ARE COURTING HER? A LOT. AND YET, SHE GOES OUT WITH NATHAN."

I didn't care how many people were looking. My heart had been ripped out of my chest. It was a pain that would take a long time to heal. "It's not Denise's fault! It's actually YOUR fault for not making a move!! You can't blame your anger on someone else." Annabel shoots back at me.

More and more tears roll down my face. I sit back down and take Annabel's hand. "Look, I'm sorry. I've been so bummed out because the world just seems to love to bully me. I don't understand anything anymore. Everything is so depressing." I say without looking her in the eye. I then realize water drops were spilling on her hands and mine. I look up at her and see that she's crying too. Except... There was a smile on her face. "Carmela Maryanne Villa Moore, you have just finished the first step on getting over your crush." She says. She gives me a hug and then gives me a smile.

Her smile faded almost instantly. I guess it was the expression I had on my face; sad. "You're going to have to get over him sooner or later." she mutters. "Look, there's a guy over there who's been checking you out since I got here. And trust me, he looks like a waaaaay better guy than Nathan Addams." She winks at me.

I look up and see a young man a few benches away from us looking at me. He was smiling at me. The warm kind of smile that would make you feel better instantly. Except, he wore it differently. With that smile, he wore sad, desperate eyes. I give him back a half hearted smile and fix my hair and my face. I brush my hair out of my face, and wipe off all the tears and snot out of my face with my jacket sleeve.

Annabel looks at me with her expression full of delight. "I haven't seen you this way since before you first met Nathan!! Good sign!! Go for it C!! I believe in you." She squeals and then pushes me his way.

Each step I got closer to him, I got more nervous and more excited. Butterflies developed in my stomach and I felt light headed. But I didn't care anymore. Everything around me started fading piece by piece. My thoughts, my emotions, everything. I guess you could say this is a good sign... Right?