Stop

Stop(Lisa) I knew I had to stop but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it… I never could. Once I had begun it was just impossible. I try not to, I really do – but I always cave in the end. This time I managed to hold out for ten years. It was hard. It was really hard. Mostly I just avoided people. I was doing really well but I was too weak so I took a liking to animals instead. Poor things… they never did anything to deserve this either. But Lucy; my latest victim – well she really was the most innocent of them all. I never planned to hurt her, it just happened.

It all started just two weeks ago: my first day at Redding Grave High school. I was bored with just wondering around these towns with no real purpose and I figured I could control my hunger after the past ten years so I joined yet another high school. The name suits me perfectly, don’t you think? I chose it specifically. Anyway, I digress. I was enrolling when she literally bounced up to me!

“Hello! My name is Lucy, and I’m so excited to welcome you to our school!” she beamed at me.

Cheerleader. I wasn’t stereotyping either; she was dressed in a red and black cheer uniform, and she was waving matching pom-poms wildly in my face. Because this was totally the type of school I belonged in… not.
I smiled at her and said, "It’s nice to meet you."

If I’m honest I just wanted to go explore my new school – alone. I wasn’t here to make friends. It was just some other excuse to pretend I was normal whilst passing the time. Plus, what if couldn’t control my hunger after all?

“Come on, I’ll show you around!” she exclaimed, grabbing my hand as if she was a small child and I was her new toy.

I could tell that this school was going to take a lot of effort to keep my temper under control. I mean seriously; one mistake and I could ruin everything I’ve been working for these past ten years. I am not going to let some stupid high school student ruin all that I have achieved.

The next week went by in a blur with Lucy by my side twenty four-seven. I honestly couldn’t see what it was about me that made her stick around; I mean, after all she had so many other friends before I came along; and it wasn’t like I had even half as much cheer and spirit as her. Which is why I was so shocked when she asked me on a date last Friday. If I close my eyes and concentrate, I can still picture the scene in my head now.
She said “Hey, Damon. Do you maybe want to grab a bite to eat or something tomorrow?”

I smiled inwardly at the irony of her choice of words – a ‘bite’ indeed. I remember mentally hitting myself for that thought. I would not take a bite from anyone!
Suppressing a laugh, I asked “Like a date?”
“Well, yeah. But only if you want to…” she looked so nervous. A first for our schools golden girl.

So being me; like I always do, I foolishly agreed and then arranged to pick her up around four the next day. I say foolishly because I’m on a different kind of diet to the rest of the world – meaning no savoury or sweet snacks of any kind for me. Not that I’d ever want or need them being on a blood only diet and all.

I still went with her though. We went to a place called Munch Hut. It sold basically every kind of unhealthy, junk food known to the world, but of course I couldn’t eat any. She ordered pepperoni pizza and fries but only picked at it looking as if she could cry. I reached out and stroked her hand, uttering the words,
“What’s wrong Lucy?”

She smiled - but it was clearly forced as moments later she burst into tears. I rushed over to her leading her outside so that she would not be watched by everyone in the restaurant. Had I made the poor girl cry? Was it me? Had I done something wrong? I felt really guilty. I didn’t remember how to date someone. Had I broken some unwritten rule?
“Tell me what’s wrong…” I soothed.

But she only looked at me sadly, before reaching up and kissing me. I was so confused that my only response was to push her away; of course, this made the crying even worse. I liked her – of course I did – but I wasn’t sure what was going on. She definitely didn’t belong with me, she deserved better. But the way those sad little eyes of hers looked pleadingly into mine…
Stop.

I knew right then that if I let this go any further I could seriously hurt her; I didn’t want to, so why didn’t I stop myself? Like right now, I knew what I was doing was wrong but it is who I am, and no matter how hard I try I can never change what I am. Maybe kissing her that day was a mistake. Okay it was a huge mistake! But she looked so sad and it’s not like I made her kiss me back. I knew she would though. After all she did try to in the first place. I never choose for her to fall for me. All in just two weeks as well…

The girl had her heart too open. She’d just let anyone in, I suppose. And unfortunately for her she made the worst possible choice: me. I should have said no. I should have never let it get this far! But when she took her jacket off and tilted her head to the side the way some girls do when they are trying to flirt I just lost control. It is the natural instinct of my kind and it is impossible to resist. I know that she didn’t know the truth about me but when she did that… she basically told me to feed on her. To end her life. To satisfy my growing hunger. To just give in.
Now I was destroying her and I couldn’t stop… I was draining the life out of an innocent girl all because she had fallen for me; I had let our kiss go too far.

She only screamed once. The fear always leaves after the first bite. When the blood is leaving the body of any victim they tend to sense pleasure, a sense of safety and comfort in it; they don’t feel the death in a painful way. They may know it’s happening but they don’t feel scared.

For some of us this knowledge alone allows us to never feel guilt for our need to feed. But the few - like me, feel like a murderer. It’s even worse when you have spent time with your victim; as I had with Lucy. It’s almost like we can really interact with them; but whenever we get close to a human this is nearly always what happens.

I don’t want to kill. I try so hard not to, but in the end I always cave. It really makes me feel sick though, knowing that just a couple of weeks ago she was a sweet and innocent fifteen year old without a worry in the world. Then I came along and ruined it all…

Now, she lays lifeless on the ground in the dark woods under a shadowed tree. Two puncture marks on the right side of her neck where my teeth left their deadly mark.