Living Without True Meaning

Living Without True Meaning(Number Kruncher) Somethings are purely fated,
No matter how much we try we end up grated,
If it is yours, no amount of effort needed,
But if it is not, no matter how hard you try,
You will never fly.

Living with regrets accentuates the pain,
You wish there is a delete button in your brain,
But no pain, no gain,
Just hanging in remaining sane,
If you have to cry, just let it rain.

You try as hard as possible,
To make your situation laughable,
But in your ears, your silent cries are audible,
Over the time, your acting becomes passable,
Minus a Grammy credential.

At night you ask God why,
God has been silent on His plans,
Mom told you there is something more grand,
Dad thinks your life is a crumbling sand,
But you strive to get up on your two feet to stand.

You attempt to comfort yourself saying there are people with worst luck,
But you know that is just a lie,
To keep your hopes alive,
At each chances you give a 105 percent,
But you only get zero percent.

I wish I can turn back time,
Explore my other chances and option,
Rather than regretting my action,
Right now, what can I do but live as the consequences of my own creation,
Praying for a better reality than a painful fiction.

Friends are willing to listen,
But they don't understand my ambition,
I was on top and I constantly want to be in the top region,
But now am merely at the bottom section,
The pain and embarassment is too much to face, I keep myself in my own prison.

Truth be told, I am not proud of what has become,
A low prospects and small income,
God says life is more than materialistic gain,
It's true, for now I need to get out of this prospect-less drain,
Hopefully, hop on the prospects train.

At the moment, I can only pray,
That God will finally say,
This is your day.