I DON'T LOVE HIM, I JUST MISS HIM(Zehra.liya) I DON’T LOVE HIM, I JUST MISS HIM

My 6 year old daughter came home annoyed. A boy in her class had said that he loves her and now the whole class is teasing her. The boy had even asked her to marry him. I thought it was cute. To see her reaction I asked, ’well dear do you love that boy?’. My daughter rolled her eyes and said, ’mamma I don’t want to be involved in this stuff. I want to study and become a doctor. Such things are a great distraction which will slow you down.' I never expected this from my little one. She was serious. I couldn’t help laughing, I was seeing myself in her.


Past
I was a straight A student during my high school days. Still I was not termed as a geek. Some popular kids were my friends. I was quite liked by all. I really enjoyed my school days with my best friends. I never had a crush on anyone. I was not into all that stuff. for me it was unnecessary and I took my studies seriously. I couldn’t even imagine me falling in love but life has some mysterious ways.

There was a boy in our class, Suyash. He was very handsome, good in academics and sports. All girls wanted him. My best friend Ria had a huge crush on him. I never took any interest in him. just another guy. Mayank, Rajeev and Amith were his best buddies.

One day I was returning from the library. I was alone because my friends never had the habit of visiting the library. Rajeev and Amith were waiting for me. they smiled at me. It was something unusual. anyway I smiled back and walked towards them. While Rajeev was about to say something mayank came from nowhere and covered his mouth. just then amith shouted that, mayank has something to say to you’and ran away. i looked at mayank he gave me a smile and then ran behind amith. i didn’t understand a thing. they were acting like kids.

The same drama continued for days. Boys trying to tell me something but interrupted my mayank always. in our time, 'he wants to tell you something' was the code for 'he loves you'. My friends started to tease me. What is strange is that Mayank never said a word to me or others about this matter. I had caught him staring at me many times. When I look he gives the same smile, I feel uneasy and turn away. To say the truth, I didn’t know a thing about mayank and started to feel uncomfortable with him.

Everything changed suddenly. We had to do a science project and the teacher divided us into groups of three. I, Mayank and Suyash in same group. All the girls were jealous. they wanted suyash in their group. I didn’t feel anything special about this. Anyway, Suyash must be better than Mayank.

Days passed. I and suyash became good friends. We used to chat about everything while mayank did the smiling, oh god that boy could never speak. But mayank was brilliant. He became first in the class making me the second. I was angry. Over years it was the first time I lost my first place. Our group sessions were fun. We three were together many times. when I and suyash were alone he told me about mayank. mayank said something bad about me and that is what his friends were trying to say. they decided to play along when others took it as a love matter. I don’t know why, but I was disappointed hearing this. till then I had no feelings toward mayank, but after hearing sayush I hated mayank.

Our school days ended and we went our own ways. My friends noticed the change in me. I was missing someone. they started to tease me saying that I was in love with suyash. They were right, I was missing someone but it was not suyash but mayank!! I badly wanted to see him smile. i tried to hide this from my friends but ria caught me. i told her how I missed mayank. We never had real conversation but something was pulling me towards him. I myself was surprised about the way I felt even after knowing mayank was playing with me. ’are you in love with Mayank’ Ria asked with a naugty smile. I said NO! i don’t love him I just miss him, the way he smiles………. she began laughing.

As the days passed I realized my feeling for mayank were different. i missed his beautiful smile. I missed it all. little did I know that I was in love. i wondered where he could be. I wanted to see him. one fine morning suyash called me up and apologized. I was confused. he confessed that all he said about mayank was a lie, he was jealous of him and narrated to me how their friendship collapsed. i was in no mood to hear. I was already in love with mayank and was super happy to hear this. i assured suyash that he still was my friend.

Years passed. one day I was sitting in a café with my friends. I saw someone approaching us. My heart started beating fast. It was mayank. I was staring at him. His eyes entranced me and his smile made my heart fly. I wanted to give him a big hug but stood still. Ria teased him, 'Mayank do you still have something to say to her?' He looked straight into my eyes and said. ‘I love you.' I thought it was happening in my head but it was true. i was super happy.


Present
My husband came home. Without allowing him to change our little one started to narrate her story and Mayank sat there listening to our daughter telling her story with a serious cute expression. he smiled listening to her and looked at me. The same smile which i hated once but today I cannot live a day without mayank or our daughter. Even today I wonder how he stole my heart without even uttering a word.

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