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  • Story Listed as: Fiction For Adults
  • Theme: Drama / Human Interest
  • Subject: Comedy / Humor
  • Published: 07/07/2013

Newspaper Helps Pastor Celebrate Birthday

By Greg Miller
Born 1948, M, from Johnson City, TN, United States
View Author Profile
Read More Stories by This Author

© 2013


Pastor Ronnie led a large congregation whose members included several highly-talented writers.


Pastor Ronnie recognized this obvious resource within the church, so he asked his wife, Ronnee, to edit a weekly newspaper published by the congregation. The newspaper would be mailed to those who lived in the community near the church.


Every Monday, the church published the newspaper and mailed it free to local residents. Church members who owned businesses were given free advertising in the paper.


Rennie, the congregation’s children’s minister, had a burden on his heart for the success of the fledgling publication. He asked all the children to try to get their parents to donate one dollar each week toward the project. Response to the appeal was both enthusiastic and unanimous.


The congregation’s business owners also wanted to help fund the newspaper. Rex, who owned a barber shop, said he would donate 50 cents from every haircut. Rozie, who owned a restaurant, promised to donate 25 cents from every drink purchase. Robby, a pediatrician, said he would donate two dollars from every child’s visit to his office.


Each issue of the paper featured several articles about church members who described how their faith in Jesus had transformed their lives. Ruthie described how the Lord delivered her from a drug-controlled life. Robert testified how Jesus helped him to stop visiting Internet porn sites. Robby shared his story of healing from cancer.


Several church staff members ran ads in the paper to celebrate Pastor Ronnie’s birthday. “Happy birthday, Pastor Ronnie,” wrote Ray, the congregation‘s director of education.


Roy, the church’s associate pastor, penned his birthday wishes to the pastor in the form of a poem, “This birthday is a great one for you to be alive. So we bought a brand new car for you to drive.”


Renee, the choir director, wrote, “Happy birthday, Pastor Ronnie. Your preaching is wonderful.”


The Sunday following the publication of the edition of the paper which contained the birthday wishes was the pastor’s birthday. Following the service, those in attendance shook hands with the pastor and wished him a happy birthday.


Ronnee was the first to congratulate her husband on his big day. “Happy birthday, Dear,” she told Ronnie. “I love you very much.”


“Thanks, Honey, I love you, too,” smiled Pastor Ronnie.


Smiling from ear to ear, Rennie approached the pastor and said, “Happy birthday, Pastor. May God richly bless you on your big day today.”


“Thanks a lot, Rennie,” the pastor replied. “I really appreciate the thought.”


Rex made sure he wished the pastor a happy birthday before he left the building. “Happy birthday, Pastor Ronnie,” said Rex.


“Thanks, Rex,” said the pastor.


“By the way, how does it feel to be 30?,” asked Rex.


“It feels great,” grinned Pastor Ronnie. “Not bad at all for an old man!”


To contact the writer of this column about speaking engagements, including Christian Comedy Fundraisers and/or puppet ministry, please email raysofson@gmail.com.

Newspaper Helps Pastor Celebrate Birthday(Greg Miller) © 2013


Pastor Ronnie led a large congregation whose members included several highly-talented writers.


Pastor Ronnie recognized this obvious resource within the church, so he asked his wife, Ronnee, to edit a weekly newspaper published by the congregation. The newspaper would be mailed to those who lived in the community near the church.


Every Monday, the church published the newspaper and mailed it free to local residents. Church members who owned businesses were given free advertising in the paper.


Rennie, the congregation’s children’s minister, had a burden on his heart for the success of the fledgling publication. He asked all the children to try to get their parents to donate one dollar each week toward the project. Response to the appeal was both enthusiastic and unanimous.


The congregation’s business owners also wanted to help fund the newspaper. Rex, who owned a barber shop, said he would donate 50 cents from every haircut. Rozie, who owned a restaurant, promised to donate 25 cents from every drink purchase. Robby, a pediatrician, said he would donate two dollars from every child’s visit to his office.


Each issue of the paper featured several articles about church members who described how their faith in Jesus had transformed their lives. Ruthie described how the Lord delivered her from a drug-controlled life. Robert testified how Jesus helped him to stop visiting Internet porn sites. Robby shared his story of healing from cancer.


Several church staff members ran ads in the paper to celebrate Pastor Ronnie’s birthday. “Happy birthday, Pastor Ronnie,” wrote Ray, the congregation‘s director of education.


Roy, the church’s associate pastor, penned his birthday wishes to the pastor in the form of a poem, “This birthday is a great one for you to be alive. So we bought a brand new car for you to drive.”


Renee, the choir director, wrote, “Happy birthday, Pastor Ronnie. Your preaching is wonderful.”


The Sunday following the publication of the edition of the paper which contained the birthday wishes was the pastor’s birthday. Following the service, those in attendance shook hands with the pastor and wished him a happy birthday.


Ronnee was the first to congratulate her husband on his big day. “Happy birthday, Dear,” she told Ronnie. “I love you very much.”


“Thanks, Honey, I love you, too,” smiled Pastor Ronnie.


Smiling from ear to ear, Rennie approached the pastor and said, “Happy birthday, Pastor. May God richly bless you on your big day today.”


“Thanks a lot, Rennie,” the pastor replied. “I really appreciate the thought.”


Rex made sure he wished the pastor a happy birthday before he left the building. “Happy birthday, Pastor Ronnie,” said Rex.


“Thanks, Rex,” said the pastor.


“By the way, how does it feel to be 30?,” asked Rex.


“It feels great,” grinned Pastor Ronnie. “Not bad at all for an old man!”


To contact the writer of this column about speaking engagements, including Christian Comedy Fundraisers and/or puppet ministry, please email raysofson@gmail.com.

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