Keeping in Touch

Keeping in Touch(sato-chi) It's the first day after, I'm scared of how you will look at me. I'm sure you'd known before me that we, him and me, would be together the next time we all meet.

The three of us were always together, you, me and him. I met you first and, truthfully, you're the only one I considered my friend without your consent. In all my years, you were the only one that I looked for and still look for. Then you introduced him to me. I didn't like him that much -- he looked like he could love. But he was your friend so I became his too.

The first year was ok, you protected me from him, unintentionally or not. The second year not so much, you weren't there and I tried to not be there too but he sought me out. I fooled myself that all the signs were nothing. That he didn't treat me differently like he did others.

Then one day, you gave me a warning 'Learn how to say no.' Both of you knew that I didn't know how.

The next day, I was saying my goodbye to you.

'You're very weird today, what's wrong?' you asked while petting my head. I just shook my head and clung tighter to your thigh and curled up more to fit myself in your lap.

'Well your hair's getting messed up,' then you switched to combing it with your hands. I nodded to show that I really don't care.

We were waiting for the professor to call us, but I never wanted to be called. I just wanted to stay there, feeling small and fragile, telepathically begging you to protect me. Blaming you for being the 'common friend.' But, of course, we got called.

As I stood up, peeling myself off of you in more ways than one, I turned to you and verbalized my coming chains 'I can't follow your warning.'

'So?' you shrugged.

'..I hate you,' I can't help saying and quickly went through the door.

We haven't met for three months since then. Today's the first day. I didn't know how our, mine and his, relationship would affect the two of us. All I know is, I still wanted to be protected by you. But I also know that he won't like that, he wants to protect me all by himself. I don't let him see that it's him I want protection from.

We, me and him, arrived together. You were already there. This is one of the rare occasions that I can sit beside you without consequences; our surnames made it so. He would be two rows in front of my column.

I didn't know how to, or even if I may, look at you. But you always knew what to do, what to say.

'So, how did these three months treat you?'

'Ah, you know. It was ok.'

'Huh. From what I heard it was more than ok,' you teased with a matching waggle of your eyebrows.
I punched you and couldn't help but laugh, I can't remember the last time I was this relieved.

'Actually--' something moved in my peripheral. Someone. Him. '--it's great,' I finished with a shy smile. He faced towards the front again. You smirk at me and immediately mocked me sticking out my tongue. I could only grimace at you as you tousled my hair.

I think I can live with this, as long as nothing *really* changed between us. But I needed to make sure. Loneliness suddenly gripped me, so I took your wrist. I couldn't look at you, not then. I looked straight ahead, and so did you. Then he stood up. I dropped your wrist, not meaning for it to land on my thigh. I would've let him see it, just to prove that it means nothing. But you wouldn't take that risk. You don't trust him enough. So you took your hand and kept it to yourself.

He leaned over me and whispered, 'Hey, wanna go outside while we wait?'

'M,' I nodded and stood up. Taking his hand, I smiled at you.

He patted you on the back and led me outside. You just shook your head while smiling. And with that, I knew for sure: yes, I will make him happy. For you.