Where A Child's Loyalties Lie(JK) “Watching grass grow and ants work?! Seriously!” Louisa guffawed as she ruffled my short hair with her aqua blue fingernails. Now do not get me wrong. My sister and I love each other immensely. However, due to our personality differences, I sometimes think of her as annoying and a constant source of frustration. She lived in her frivolous, at least in my eyes, eighteen year old world of boys, gossip, make up, and nail polish. While me? My twelve year old world revolved around star gazing with dad, animal and insect watching, reading books about the environment, ecosystems, researching about plants, and going for long walks and bike rides.

“Why not Lou? I like watching them work!” I straightened my shoulders and stood as tall as possible. Louisa sat up in her favorite lawn chair which was strategically placed in a patch of sunlight on our patio. Clearly, she was trying to tan herself to the maximum this summer. I would not be surprised if she got up one morning, looked in the mirror and realized she was the exact same shade as those gingerbread men I make with grandma every Christmas.

My big sister sighed, at a loss with me. She did not understand why I could not be like other girls with their cheap make up and cosmetics from Ardene’s and Claire’s.

“But Avery,” She frowned, “You barely play with anyone else!”

“Yeah I do!” I retorted, “I play with Eric and Jared next door!”

I saw frustration etch across her perfect face and knew immediately I had said something to her disapproval. “But they’re boys Avery, and you’re a girl!”

“So?” My voice rising, “They’re much more fun to be with than other girls!” I refused to wait for her reasoning, and angrily stormed off the patio. Every time the weather was nice, she’d try to paint my nails on the patio, much to my disgust and annoyance. Dad and mom had tried telling her that I had other interests but she just did not get it in her pretty head.

I flopped in the shade of our cherry tree in our expansive lawn’s corner. I loved the outdoors and did not mind the fact that every time I did so, my clothes were streaked with grass stains.

I gradually dozed off while resting on my stomach, my chin resting on my arms. The afternoon was burning hot but the shade provided the perfect temperature for a snooze in the hazy summer afternoon. I awoke after a couple hours and the shade had expanded due to the setting sun. I was about to roll over and get off the lawn when I overheard Louisa giggling on the patio. I quickly shut my eyes and lay still once more. Judging from the way she was talking and giggling she was decidedly on her cell phone. After further listening, I concluded that the person on the other end was definitely a boy.

“I know, right!” Louisa giggled. I cringed. Nothing irked me so much as to have to lie here, listening to her on her cell phone. The last time she had caught me listening though, I had gotten in big trouble and I was definitely not prepared to face the screechy Louisa wrath again.

“Tonight? As if I’ll even be able to leave this stuffy house!” She whined. She paused, listening to the boy on the other end.

“You’re kidding right?” She gasped. “I can’t. My parents will kill me.” I stiffened. What were they talking about? What was happening tonight? I felt guilty about listening to their conversation but I really had no choice.

“Oh my gosh Tyler really?” She giggled into the phone. “You’re so sweet you know?” another giggle escaped her. “Okay I’ll do it.” I was surprised at the determined tone her voice took on and the sudden change. “Don’t. It’ll be so much harder to leave then.” She paused sighing. “Okay I’ll see you in a few.” A pause, “Yeah okay, I get it! Bye Tyler.” She giggled once more then hung up. I heard her push her chair back.

Assuming she had finished, and hoping she'd left, I slowly rose to my feet. However, a quick glance informed me that I had assumed wrongly. Louisa was still stretched out, texting with a rather silly grin. As soon as I realized her head was turning to me, I slowly stretched my arms above my head and opened my mouth in a humongous yawn; hoping against hope that she would dismiss this as a coincidence. However, I knew that this time, something suspicious was to take place as a result of this phone call and Louisa would be more determined than ever to ensure that I had not heard something not meant for me. My heart sank and my dread increased as I approached the patio. Louisa had taken the trouble to get off her perch and was now standing tall with her hands on her hips, her lips pursed in a determined line.

“How long were you there?” she interrogated suspiciously, getting straight to the point.

“I don’t know, since our last conversation a couple hours ago? Why?” I asked back. I have learned from experience to give her the bare facts, selectively.

“Did you hear anything?” She inquired, worry fleeting across her face.

“Like what? Is there something I was supposed to hear?” I returned as innocently as possible; my face a blank mask of ignorance.

“No!” She laughed forcefully, her tone rapidly changing from interrogative to dismissive. “It was probably just me.” She muttered settling back onto her seat and logging back onto her phone.

“What was it?” I asked, wondering what excuse she would fabricate.

“Nothing much.” Her grey eyes refused to meet mine.

“Sure Louisa.” I replied knowing deep down that as long as I did not interfere with her secrets, she would not care what I did.

I strolled past her, slipped off my grey slippers, which apparently matched my eyes according to Louisa, and stepped into our house.

“Hey mom.” I greeted as I opened the refrigerator, taking out the lettuce which needed to be dressed for dinner.

“Helping me tonight?” Mom asked, pleased that I had the initiative to do so. She was boiling pasta and preparing gravy at the same time.

“May as well.” I shrugged, “I don’t have homework.” Mom nodded approvingly and began draining the pasta. I poured the salad dressing into the salad and proceeded to toss it. The two of us set the table of four in a comfortable silence.

“How’s my little Avery?” Dad asked as he entered the dining room, pulling me into a hug and kissing the top of my head. I may be in my pre teens but to dad, I would always be little despite the fact that I was up to his nose at five foot four.

“Not much, the usual summer day.” I decided against telling them about Louisa right now. I may have heard wrongly anyways.

“You didn't go over to Jared and Eric’s?” Dad asked.

“Nah. I was hoping we could watch the stars tonight so I took a nap.” I replied hopefully.

“Which explains the grass stains?” Mom cut in pointedly. I glared at her but quickly turned back to dad.

“Sorry Avery.” My heart sank as he rolled his sleeves before rinsing his hands under the tap. “I've got work that needs to be done by ten tonight.”

“Okay” I whispered halfheartedly before stepping outside to call Louisa in. “We’re eating,” I said shortly before stepping back in, not waiting for her reply.

“Sorry sweetie, I promise we’ll do it as soon as my workload lightens.” Dad apologized. I nodded and sat myself between my parents at our square table.

“Did you call Louisa?” Mom asked, filling our plates.

“Yeah, she’s probably coming.” I rolled my eyes.

Dad pushed his chair back to call her in again when she entered, quickly sliding her hot pink phone into her pocket. Mom and dad both frowned at this. After several tense minutes, which were only filled with the sound of chewing, dad broke the silence.
“So how was your day Lou?”
“Boring as usual.” She muttered, examining her fork.
“Did you clear up your old school stuff?” Mom asked.
“Mom!” she whined, “School just ended-“
“A month ago.” I interrupted, earning a glare and a weak kick from beneath the table. I returned the kick though with much more force.
“Ow!” she complained, reaching down to rub her shin. I quickly spoke up without giving her a chance to complain to our parents.
“Mom, are Eric and Jared coming over tomorrow?”
“It seems like they want you to go over.”
“Yes!” I jumped happily in my seat.

If looks could kill, I would be incinerated by those deadly looks Louisa was shooting me across the table. Dinner proceeded without anymore major fireworks. It was seven thirty by the time we had finished cleaning up and the sun was just beginning to set. Dad was in his study furiously typing. Mom was trimming the hedge while I dangled from the tire swing in our front yard. I was so preoccupied in my thoughts on the afternoon that I did not hear mom calling me in until she waved a pair of clippers a few feet from my face.

“Huh?” I snapped out of my thoughts.
“Time to go in.” Mom smiled at me over her shoulder as she stored the clippers and various gardening tools in the garage. I rose, dusted off my shorts and headed to my room.
I changed and brushed my teeth, switched on the mini fan in my room and flopped onto my bed with my favourite plant fact book. I began reading by the light of my bedside lamp.

A few hours later, I suddenly awoke with my face creased into a page about sunflowers. My lamp had been switched off by either mom or dad while the fan was still providing a breeze. I was about to get up and return my book to my mini bookshelf when I heard the stairs creak. Quickly setting my head back down on my book, I hushed my breathing. I had decided to get up again after a period of silence when I heard the door squeak open then click shut. Hurrying, I swung my legs over my bedside and tip toed out the room. I glanced down the hall, coast clear.

Peering down the stairs, all I saw were luminescent patches of moonlight in our now silent and dark house. I softly crept to my room. As I lay on my back, my mind wandered to this afternoon. Or was it yesterday afternoon? A glance at the clock informed me it was one thirty AM. My mind replayed Louisa’s conversation from this afternoon. Not being able to do something tonight... I sat bolt upright. Tonight! Could the creaking have been caused by her? For the second time, my feet swung onto the cold floor but instead I tiptoed across the hall to Louisa’s room. I knocked softly. No response was given. Perhaps she was asleep? But why did I feel like there was an uncanny connection between yesterday afternoon and the hallway noises? I twisted the doorknob and slid into her aqua blue room. Her bed was mussed and several garments were scattered around her colour coded room but there was no sign of Louisa herself. I glanced at her tiny radio, one forty seven AM. Where was she? I entered her walk in closet but soon retreated due to the super sweet intoxicating perfume scent. I slowly wandered back to my room. I did not bother attempting to sleep anymore. I was too disappointed in my sister. I finally managed to doze off but soon awoke. For the umpteenth time tonight I glanced at the clock, five after three. I tossed and turned but could not get comfortable. I needed to do something. Before I knew it, my feet had brought me back to Louisa’s room. I glanced around; everything was exactly the same way as it was at one forty seven. I began picking up her clothes and hanging them back in her closet. I was about seventy five percent done when I heard the door squeak open. I continued organizing her clothing as calmly as possible though my hands shook slightly.

A hand wrapped around my wrist. The aqua blue nail polish was a dead giveaway.

“What are you doing in MY room?!” She hissed; I could smell something on her breath suspiciously like alcohol.
“Cleaning up for you.” I replied as if the answer was not obvious enough.
“At three forty five am?” She whispered angrily.
“I couldn’t sleep.” I murmured, twisting myself out of her grasp and hanging a blue top in the closet.
“Yeah right,” she snapped sarcastically, “Spying you mean.” I could hear the venom dripping from her voice.
“No.” I replied with an even voice as I scooped up the last garment from the hardwood floor.

I turned around in time to see Louisa sway to her bed. I shook my head; she looked way too drunk for her own good. She sat on the edge to take off her pumps.
“Go back to sleep you sneak!” She hissed at me. I blinked and crossed my arms.
“Where were you?”
“None of your business.”

I released a harsh laugh and tossed her a set of pyjamas. “Uh huh, from one thirty to three forty five in the morning. Right.” I stepped to the door but for a drunk, Louisa moved pretty quickly.
“You aren’t tattling or else-“
“Ooh is Louisa afraid of getting told on? What are you going to threaten me with? Huh?” I taunted.
“I’ll tell mom you forgot to water her plants and made the plants’ leaves shrivel up by watering them in the hot afternoon.” She was leaning so close I could smell her alcoholic breath.
“Blackmail huh? Nice try!” I snapped. I shoved her to her bed, gave a little wave and scampered to my room, ensuring I locked my door behind me.

When I finally fell asleep, I heard the satisfying sound of a doorknob jiggling.

I rose at my usual six thirty to find dad already sipping his coffee in the kitchen.
“Morning Dad.”
“Morning Avery. How’d you sleep?” He asked.
I shrugged and poured myself the usual bowl of cereal. Dad gave me a piercing look but I refused to describe the reason behind my moodiness.

Dad left as soon as he drained his coffee, giving me a kiss on the cheek as I read the newspaper.

A glance out the window told me mom was busy weeding the garden. We never needed to hire landscapers because between mom and me, our garden was in perfect shape.

I joined her shortly and we gardened in companionable silence, revelling in the glorious summer morning. We paused at lunch time and were surprised to find Louisa setting out grilled sandwiches for the three of us. She avoided eye contact with me and indulged in small talk with mom. I picked at my sandwich, to tell or not to tell?

After lunch, I was picking blueberries while mom was inside cleaning up the interior of our property while Louisa was again on the patio chatting on her phone.
She was not aware of my presence as I was crouched behind the bushes. I froze when I heard what she was saying.

“Hey Tyler! Thanks so much for last night.” I knew immediately this was the same Tyler as the one she had been talking to yesterday afternoon. “Yeah for my first university party I did pretty well right?” I cringed, wondering what had happened at this particular party. “I’ve got to be more careful though. My sister suspects something.” My ears perked up at this. She giggled, “No you don’t. She’s six years younger and such a tomboy.” I rolled my eyes, I'd heard this countless times. “Anyways, she hasn’t said anything. No not yet... What?!” I frowned; this was not tattling. “No!” Louisa was shaking her head vigorously. “I’d never do that! She’s my sister! That’s horrible!” A pause as Tyler replied. “Another one tonight? When do you sleep?” She laughed at whatever answer Tyler gave her, “Okay I’ll try. See ya, Bye.” She hung up and began typing instead. My bucket was full and I longed to go back in but I was not in the mood to confront her again. Especially since I could not say I had been sleeping. To my relief, she soon went inside and I quickly followed suit. I made a beeline for mom who was organizing dad’s study and noted Louisa sprawled on the couch with a laptop in front of her as I jogged to the stairs.

“Mom?” I asked as I wandered into the study.
“Hmm?”
“Can I talk to you?”
“I’m all ears.” She offered me an encouraging smile as she continued feeding the paper shredder with paper.
“Lou snuck out last night.” I felt relief flood through me. Mom whipped around to face me, speechless. I continued in a whisper, “I think she’s planning it again tonight.”
“Are you sure?” Mom asked in a hoarse voice.
I nodded in the affirmative and felt my eyes water. What if something had happened and she had not come home?
“We’ll talk to her. I just wonder why you never told me or dad.” Mom assured me, pulling me into a hug.
“I-I- didn’t think of it.” I stammered. “I wasn’t sure and then when she left, I was too disappointed.
“What else do you know?” mom quizzed, pulling back to study my face.

I sighed and pulled away completely to grab a Kleenex, then recounted the entire events of yesterday afternoon and today’s early morning hours.
“Drunk?” mom forced out in disbelief.
I nodded sadly, “But not too much. Just her breath smelled weird and she was a bit tipsy.”
“Okay Aves, Dad and I will have a little chat with her. We’ve really got to put a stop to this. Thank you so much for telling me.” Mom pulled me into another hug. “Now you run along to Jared and Eric’s; they’ll be waiting by now.” I grinned excitedly. “Oh and I packed some snacks for the three of you. It’s all in the picnic basket in the kitchen.”
“Thanks mom!”

I scampered to my room to pack my magnifying glass and fact books. As I entered the kitchen, I bumped into Louisa. She rolled her eyes at me.
“You’re such a tomboy Aves.”
I stuck my tongue out childishly. “Better than being drunk.” Her eyes widened and she stepped towards me but I quickly grabbed the basket and beat it out of the house.

I was just stepping out of the house with my bag on my back and the basket in my right hand when I remembered a crucial piece of information I had forgotten to mention to mom. I dodged past Louisa who was still standing in the kitchen doorway and dashed up the stairs to find mom on the phone with dad. The door was shut so that no sound escaped. I quietly entered, making sure I shut the door behind me.

“No Rob. It’s gone too far. We have to talk to her now! I don’t care! Family is more important than work isn’t it?” mom hadn’t noticed me standing wide eyed. “Okay I’m expecting you back in two hours max.” She caught sight of me, “Wait gimme a sec.” She said to dad then turned to me. “What’s the matter Avery?”
“Uh,” I twisted the hem of my shirt. “Lou agreed with Tyler that she was gonna meet up with him again tonight.” There. It was out and I was free at last.
Mom sighed and put her mouth back to the handset. “Rob we have to do it ASAP. Aves just told me she’s planning to do it again tonight...Yeah Avery’s here... sure.” Mom smiled tiredly then handed the phone to me.
“Hi dad.” I chirped.
“Hey sweetie. Are you heading out right now?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. I’ll make this quick then. Thank you so much. I know how hard this is for you to go against your sister but we really appreciate it. I don’t think Lou realizes she has such a great sister-“
“Dad!” I complained, but I couldn't prevent the grin from stretching across my face.
“I mean it Avery.” Dad’s voice was serious now. “You’re growing to be a beautiful woman from inside out. And your mom and I can’t thank you enough-“
“Dad! I have to go now!” I whined, though my heart swelled from all the compliments.
“All right okay.” I could hear the smile in his voice, “How about some stargazing tonight hmm?”
“Yes!” I cried, victoriously throwing a fist into the air.

Long after I had left and was racing down the driveway, I could still hear my dad’s deep chuckle and see my mom’s glowing smile in my head.

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