Unforgiven

Unforgiven(zoie) He gave my life meaning. The regret Vlad brought upon me is unbearable. how could anyone live like this? When he hung under the ceiling my heart stopped, and is still bleeding. I felt a surge of anger and despair with my heart. I tried to scream but silence filled me. Sometimes i'm scared of the quiet, it always screams the truth. After he did i could hear Vlads voice haunting me, that's how i ended up in here, the asylum! Yes i'm schizophrenic and i also have PTSD. You can't really blame my mind for the illness, not every 14 year old girl finds her boyfriend hanging from a ceiling then gets raped by his dad after his funeral, and i'd rather not go into detail with that either. Those images pop in my head randomly, as i walk through the white halls of the asylum my mind turns black, sometimes i forget my name, where i'm from, and sometimes even why i'm here. When i do remember my heart explodes with anger. He ruined my life because he wasn't strong enough to take an asshole at school down. so what, he gets bullied, i get bullied just as bad and now worse. But i love him with all my heart, even though he destroyed me, and my mind, and my life. Sometimes i feel the thought of him was worth the pain. You ever had the feeling of being watched? Someone noting your every move just to sabotage your life? that's how i feel on a daily basis. Though me holding anger apon him ended.

My mother died while i was locked up in this hell house and my uncle gave me her old journal. By the yellow tint to the pages i could tell it was old. The first 709 pages was her childhood, then her pragnacy with me, then her life with her only child, then how she was going to kill Vlad. My heart stopped. How could she possibly do this? She knew i loved him. Did she do it out of jealousy? Or did he do someting to make her hold such a grudge upon him? Mom never could hurt someone so brutally. at this point i wanted to be the reason for her death, for taking something so important to me away. he's gone forever. That night my schizophernia acted up highly, I yelled as loud as i could to make them stop. The throbbing of my brain reminded me how bad i wanted to die. I opened my eyes finding nurses around me, holding me by each of my limbs. i jerked as hard as i could to get free but sadly it didn't work. The nurse jabbed a needle in my arm, sending a stinging sensation through my vein and his face blurred as i saw black. i heard a voice, it was familiar. It was Vlad! My eyes swung open finding myself in my room back at home in Louisiana. I jumped up, finding Vlad in my bed with a concerned look on his face. i looked in the mirror finding myself sane, no blood vessels popping out of my forehead, no bags under my eyes from lack of sleep, i looked like how i used to be. As i walked outside my bedroom door into the white halls of the asylum, i turned back, seeing my bedroom, my head spun in confusion. Then i looked into my bedroom doorway. Vlad grabbed me and slung me onto the bed and held me down. He stuck a needle in my arm and sent off the stinging liquid, but this time it hurt way worse. My visions blurred with blood. his beautiful face faded out of my vision and in his sweet voice his words were "good night." Then my bloody vision turned to black and my heart stopped and my last breath turned into a "i love you".

THE END