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- Story Listed as: Fiction For Adults
- Theme: Drama / Human Interest
- Subject: Comedy / Humor
- Published: 08/04/2013
Community Responds to Unusual Cornfield
Born 1948, M, from Johnson City, TN, United States© 2013
Farmer Seed Tosser planted his entire farm with seed corn.
As far as the eye could see, Farmer Seed Tosser planted row after row of the yellow vegetable. Farmer Seed Tosser named every row of corn. Since he was a Christian, he chose names from God’s Word, the Bible.
He appropriately named the first row of corn after Adam, the world’s first man. Unlike his human counterpart, however, the row-of-corn Adam was not formed in an adult state. Instead, he grew from a long line of seed corn, planted in deep, dark, fertile soil of the earth.
The second row of corn was named after the Old Testament book of Daniel. This row of corn insisted on waving his ears to praise and glorify the God of heaven with worship and prayer.
In addition to several other Old Testament books and characters, cornfields also were named after New Testament books and characters. John the Baptist, Apostle Paul and Mary were among the New Testament cornfield names.
The corn row named after John the Baptist always seemed to crave an unusually large amount of water. The row named after Apostle Paul produced numerous varieties of corn. Every ear in this amazing variety was marked with a cross with a substance resembling blood. Farmer Seed Tosser called this variety of corn “Jesus Blood Corn.” The row named after Mary produced the largest and most beautiful ears of corn in the entire cornfield.
Farmer Seed Tosser was so proud of his cornfield that he ran ads in the local newspaper promoting the farm. The ads drew the attention of the local television station, which decided to air a 30-minute special about the farm.
Groups from schools, churches and other organizations around the area visited the farm. Everyone was very anxious to see Farmer Seed Tosser’s cornfields.
The enterprise proved to be extremely profitable for Farmer Seed Tosser. Over the course of the summer, he earned several thousand dollars from the tours.
Farmer Seed Tosser opened a small gift shop inside the farm’s office. Next to the shop, he installed a countertop, on which he placed a guestbook.
Visitors were asked to write brief statements in the guestbook about the cornfield. Joshua, a 10-year-old boy, wrote, “These rows of corn sure are pretty, and they do a great job of praising the Lord God.”
Jackie, an 11-year-old girl, wrote, “What a great-looking cornfield! I can’t wait to take some ears of corn home, cook them and cover them with melted butter and salt and eat them!”
After Jackie completed her entry, another 11-year-old, a boy named Jeremiah, wrote, “Jackie and Joshua, both of you are right. But the best thing I can say about this place is it is just so corny!”
To contact the writer of this column about speaking engagements, including Christian Comedy Fundraisers, and/or puppet ministry, please email raysofson@gmail.com.
Community Responds to Unusual Cornfield(Greg Miller)
© 2013
Farmer Seed Tosser planted his entire farm with seed corn.
As far as the eye could see, Farmer Seed Tosser planted row after row of the yellow vegetable. Farmer Seed Tosser named every row of corn. Since he was a Christian, he chose names from God’s Word, the Bible.
He appropriately named the first row of corn after Adam, the world’s first man. Unlike his human counterpart, however, the row-of-corn Adam was not formed in an adult state. Instead, he grew from a long line of seed corn, planted in deep, dark, fertile soil of the earth.
The second row of corn was named after the Old Testament book of Daniel. This row of corn insisted on waving his ears to praise and glorify the God of heaven with worship and prayer.
In addition to several other Old Testament books and characters, cornfields also were named after New Testament books and characters. John the Baptist, Apostle Paul and Mary were among the New Testament cornfield names.
The corn row named after John the Baptist always seemed to crave an unusually large amount of water. The row named after Apostle Paul produced numerous varieties of corn. Every ear in this amazing variety was marked with a cross with a substance resembling blood. Farmer Seed Tosser called this variety of corn “Jesus Blood Corn.” The row named after Mary produced the largest and most beautiful ears of corn in the entire cornfield.
Farmer Seed Tosser was so proud of his cornfield that he ran ads in the local newspaper promoting the farm. The ads drew the attention of the local television station, which decided to air a 30-minute special about the farm.
Groups from schools, churches and other organizations around the area visited the farm. Everyone was very anxious to see Farmer Seed Tosser’s cornfields.
The enterprise proved to be extremely profitable for Farmer Seed Tosser. Over the course of the summer, he earned several thousand dollars from the tours.
Farmer Seed Tosser opened a small gift shop inside the farm’s office. Next to the shop, he installed a countertop, on which he placed a guestbook.
Visitors were asked to write brief statements in the guestbook about the cornfield. Joshua, a 10-year-old boy, wrote, “These rows of corn sure are pretty, and they do a great job of praising the Lord God.”
Jackie, an 11-year-old girl, wrote, “What a great-looking cornfield! I can’t wait to take some ears of corn home, cook them and cover them with melted butter and salt and eat them!”
After Jackie completed her entry, another 11-year-old, a boy named Jeremiah, wrote, “Jackie and Joshua, both of you are right. But the best thing I can say about this place is it is just so corny!”
To contact the writer of this column about speaking engagements, including Christian Comedy Fundraisers, and/or puppet ministry, please email raysofson@gmail.com.
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