THE TRIAL OF CARTHAGE(Charles E.J. Moulton) Lucius was just as much a career soldier as Atronicus.
Both were wealthy men with militias of their own and slaves who were loyal. They were very kind men and it was said of them that a slave employed in the household of these strong military hunks were lucky indeed. The servants would be well-fed and well-clothed and even be able to listen to recitation of Ovid every week or hear some ballad sung by a Roman vocalist. If they were lucky, slaves in these houses would even get to taste the pheasant or peacock in honey sauce and grab a cup of wine after hours.
Both Lucius and Atronicus had studied collectively, they had served in many wars simultaneously, they had walked the roofed pavements of Rome together flirting with the women. Nowadays as yesteryear, they would sit in the thermal baths and enjoy the distinction of warmth. Feeling the hot fire of the heated floor oven and the subsequent ice cold water was elation to say the least.
They would speak of their wives Agrippina and Lucilla, who gave them loyal love. They would speak of what countries they would conquer next. They would speak of laughter and war and love.
Technically, Atronicus was under Lucius. When it came to orders, Lucius gave them and Atronicus saw that they were carried out. It was rumoured that there was a male bonding there beyond the platonic, but most people were so impressed by their manhood that even thinking that was silly. They were the richest men of their province and so no one dared question them.
The day they were assigned to sail from their headquarters at the tip of the boot of the prefecture over the Mediterranean was a joyous day. They had been given the Caesar’s explicit orders to negotiate a primary peaceful pact with the foreigner and offer him a good trade and a possibility to get out of the whole deal as a champion.
The Carthaginians were renowned scoundrels and much too scrawny for any Roman. A messenger had been sent over to Carthage months earlier announcing the arrival of the Roman officials. Much later, a reply arrived that said that their counterparts Mohamba and Coco were awaiting them at their citadel in Carthage.
The trip over the sea past Crete and onto Carthage was one plagued by many storms, but as they embarked at the port their sea sickness was over. They glorified themselves with their golden armour and thanked Jupiter and Mars for the opportunity to mutually explore the possibility of expanding the Roman Empire.
They found the city very beautiful, but much more primitive than Rome. The fields and the crops were studied carefully as were the harbour and how it could be invaded with a legion or a fleet of boats.
Arriving at the citadel, they found the two dark skinned gentlemen named Mohamba and Coco quite annoying. They were dressed in very colourful costumes with impressive feather head dresses. The two Carthaginians bowed and the Roman men raised their hands in a salute that spoke of true grit.
Lucius and Atronicus raised their right arms and called out:
“Hail Caesar!”
“With honour I greet you on our humble terrain,” Coco said.
“How has your trip been, dear gentlemen?”
“Very well, thank you,” Atronicus answered. “That in spite of quite heavy storms.”
“Yes, well,” Mohamba interrupted, “there is nothing like a hurricane to wake the senses, eh?”
The four men laughed as men tend to do when they are faking their way through a negotiation.
“We have prepared some entertainment and some food,” Coco said. “We shall enrich your stay with local custom.”
At once, they were taken to a table and served a very rich tasting fish with spices not quite coherent with Rome’s. Then again, the drone of Rome would assimilate the bee of Carthage and the distinctiveness would be added to their own.
The entertainment was lovely and the girls were dark and pleasant. After a sweet moment’s pleasure in the tent with some soft females, the two Roman legionnaires returned to the negotiation table.
“Let us get down to business,” Mohamba said. “What have you to offer?”
Atronicus smiled: “We shall provide you with a grand compact of our own crops and riches from our land on a regular basis if you promise to grant us your loyalty. In exchange, you will be part of the greatest empire that mankind has ever seen.”
Mohamba sniggered and replied: “It is lucky we speak a bit of Latin. The question is: do you speak our tongue? Do you know what we feel? Or we just stupid brutes to you?”
Lucius laughed: “Do we need to? Soon, you will all speak Latin. There is no doubt, gents, that you are articulate and fine men, but Rome is Rome. We have an obligation to the Gods to protect our heritage. You shall receive our trading goods at a regular basis and in exchange you will find us very kind and gentle neighbours. I guarantee, every province that has joined Rome has been blessed with the finest infrastructure known to man. What say you?”
Mohamba held up his hand, again in a fake gesture of friendliness that would be copied by many a later businessman.
The two Romans sat there by the open window overlooking the Mediterranean. They were eating olives and flirting with the women they had just made love to, sitting on pillows in the tent outside.
The two Carthaginians stood by the sandstone pillar fumbling with their gold and ivory canes. They spoke of other provinces having said no to Rome and ending up paying dearly for it. It was however obvious that these people could not just come and take over, thinking they were more worthy than anyone else.
As Mohamba and Coco sat down, they flashed their own ivories so brightly that Lucius and Atronicus sat back in their cushions.
“Pecunia non olet?” Coco laughed. “Veni, vidi, vici?”
Lucius shook his head. “Excuse me?”
Mohamba smiled. “It is obvious you do not know who you are dealing with here. We are an aged territory and we have fought more enemies than you can imagine. We do not want to be integrated into the great empire, because we find ourselves better than you. Egypt is closer to us than Rome and you stole everything from them already.”
Atronicus stood up, interrupting Mohamba: “We are unique in every way and we have the means to destroy you. We are offering you a very generous contract to live well and be a part of Rome.”
Coco laughed. “If we do not want to give up our identity and will fight you lads to the last man, what will you do?”
“Arrive with our legions with fleets of ships and spray salt on your fields in order to avoid anything ever growing here again.”
Mohamba clapped twice and two gentlemen arrived.
“See these two Roman pigs out to the door. The next time we see them we shall be at war. We will not sacrifice our self esteem.”
Lucius and Atronicus stood up, lifted their right arms and shouted: “Hail Caesar! Down with the enemy! Remember that we gave you a chance to save yourselves.”
No sooner were they gone did Mohamba and Coco sit down and map out a plan how to conquer the Romans when they arrived.
Lucius and Atronicus had tried to offer them sense and sensibility. Words, words, words, nothing would make Carthage give up its’ pride. Their loss. Rome would also not stand forever.
They did not care that Carthage was now going to fall.
After all, now they had a new place to take their wives to on vacation and new cities where to explore female companionship. Grapes and olives and wine and bread were brought with on the ship.
Soon enough, the two Roman chancellors were aboard their vessel back to Rome. They were laughing and singing and getting very drunk, while Mohamba and Coco were desperately trying to figure out a way to save their land.
Lucius and Atronicus only had two things on their minds: the dinner that was waiting for them back home and the fact that they would now most likely get a promotion. They were going to become war heroes on a ship that would conquer a new province.
What was even better was that it had great food and fantastic women. All the while, Mohamba and Coco were mapping out an impossible plan, whilst salt was being poured onto the field of their land even as they spoke.
Organized genius had an evil trait.
It was called Rome.

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