Paper Stars

Paper Stars(Samantha Lim) Lady Gaga’s Born This Way was in beat with my friends’ euphoric mood. I could feel them moving their bodies as the song continued to shower upon the whole bus. I, on the other hand, just hummed low in my heart. My humming came to a decrescendo when THAT black incident came back to haunt my memory. A year had passed but my neurotransmitters were still coated with the rustiness of the year. Deep inside my heart, I was thinking, “No, I wasn’t born this way!”...

It was in February that the catastrophic incident happened to me. I was born to wealthy parents. My father was a wealthy Taiwanese magnate whereas my mother was born a Russian who worked as a full-time model. I had everything I asked for which made lots of people envy my blessed life. However, I never knew that father was piled up with debts. Mother and I only knew about it when loan sharks came to mess our house, sprayed our house with paints and they even threatened to kill Mother and I if Father failed to pay back his debts on time plus all the interest written in black and white. I was scared stiff but I held on to Lao Tze’s words which go, no one could change the bad for the better as everything had been arranged by Tao (way). Father chose the escape route. He flew to Taiwan, leaving his beloved wife and daughter behind.

One night, while we were all leading our fitful sleep, I felt cold palms on my neck. I chose to ignore it but that icy palm continued to shake me, wanting me to turn over. Without curiosity, i turned. Expecting to see my mother, but i saw a black, gigantic figure instead. I held on my ground when i saw a total stranger at my bedside while staring at me ferociously. I froze to a crystal-lattice when my retina caught the sight of a fork in one of his hands. Moments later, he grabbed my neck and held me up. Oh, I couldn’t feel the atmospheric pressure at all. Suddenly, he moved his hands with the fork backwards and then ALAS! I was on time to let out a bloody cry before I fainted.

The next day, i woke up as usual. But, it was a bit different. I just couldn’t open my eyes.

“What’s wrong with my eyes? Why can’t I see a thing? Mother! Mo..” I shrieked before an unfamilliar voice arose.

“Chill, kid. For your eyes, it just has to be plastered for several months as you’ve just injured your eyes. Don’t you remember what happened to you?” she said. There was a long pause and awkward silence before she continued, “as for your mother... she departed to be with God this morning. I am Mrs. Stowe from Angel’s Orphanage. You will be under my care for now. I am sorry for telling you this and condolences, my poor kid.”
I broke in to a million tears but there was no use. God had painted my world black. It felt like a dense black cardboard without edges. I was blind. Mother was gone too. How on Earth am i going to survive? From a princess in my family to a nobody in the end. I felt the stabs in my heart and I knew that these wounds from the stabs would not recover forever. It was the fault of that man and his fork! He sored my eyeballs with that fork and I wondered how my mother suffered before she closed her eyes. May God bless Mother..

“Annie! Annie! Stop daydreaming and let me help you get down the bus!”

It was Erica. My schoolmate in Saint Maria’s. I was jostled by her call. 12 miles had gone by without my knowledge. Seemed that I was too into the flashback and then i was back to reality again. It was Miss Celine’s Chemistry class. My fingers browsed through the Chemistry textbook which was translated in Braille for me. I still couldn’t remember the Periodic Table of Elements. I broke into silent tears until I felt a warm touch on my palms. I knew that it was Miss Celine from the perfume she wore. She helped me up and brought me outside, to the empty land behind our private school. I could feel the cool breeze brush past my sorrowful face. The smell of acrid turf tickled the sensory cells of my nasal cavity.

“Annie, look at that ferris wheel over there. Although you can’t see it you’re experiencing it now. Life is like a wheel, a moment you’ll be above, another moment you’ll be below. You’re at the bottom right now but no worries, sooner or later, you’ll be at the top,” soothed Miss Celine.

I loved Miss Celine. She was the person who would uplift my mood every time happiness backfaced me. She was the person who enriched and cherished my life with all the beads of her kind thoughts and words. Time flew. It was time to go back to the orphanage again. As soon as I stepped into the orphanage, Mrs. Stowe came over to me and told me a good news. The hospital had found an eye donor for me. I was enlightened and overjoyed and... It was just too good to be true! After a year of darkness, I could actually see the colours of the world again. I couldn’t believe my luck, or rather my fate! Mrs. Stowe suggested me to undergo the operation the next day so that I could recover earlier. Soon enough, I was admitted to the ward that very night.

“Miss Annie Teng. Miss Annie. All right. Open your eyes slowly, slowly. Very good. Now, tell me, how do you feel?” It was Dr. Clayton’s voice.
My vision got sharper than usual. There, I could now see!! Hurray for myself! I saw Mrs. Stowe with Dr. Clayton. I looked at myself in the mirror. I just looked so different. My shoulder-lengthed hair had reached down to my waist. However, the most critical change is the eyes. I wondered if God had sent a pair of angelic eyes for me from heaven. This pair of eyes was just too perfect. It was like a pair of turqoise contact lenses. It had a glassy look. I just wanted to ask Dr. Clayton about my eye donor when my ward door opened with a squeak. A slim and slender lady with blonde, layered hair with sunglasses walked in with another lady who seemed to be the maiden of the taller lady.

“Hello, Annie. How do you do?” the tall lady finally spoke.

Wait. Her voice sounded exactly like Miss Celine’s. Yes, she was Miss Celine. I was so happy that i slipped down off my bed, ran to her and gave her a great hug. I started to observe her carefully as I’d never seen her before. She was indeed very beautiful. Suddenly, I realised the sunglass covering her eyes.

“Err, Miss Celine. Are... are you blind too?” I asked in a shuttered voice.
She seemed to shove a little before she said, “Umm.. Let’s not talk about me. Remember me telling you that you’ll be above someday? Your day has arrived. You should be happy about it and worry less about me. I’m... I’m okay. Well, I got to go now. I wish you luck in your years to come, my dear girl.” She patted me before turning towards the exit. We looked at each other blankly. In the base of my little heart I was puzzled. “Do you see the ferris wheel over there... Well, now girls. Please open up to page 98 of your textbook and page 80 of your Braille, Annie.” Miss Celine’s words had just whizzed through my mind for a second. No, Miss Celine wasn’t blind before.

Suddenly, Dr. Clayton’s voice broke the silence. “Miss Annie, it seems that you know Miss Celine Hardy very well. I do not know how to begin but I would like to tell you that... SHE IS your angel. SHE IS the angel sent by God to give you this pair of beautiful eyes. I’m sorry to tell you late as I’ve promised Miss Hardy to keep this secret.”

Once again, my heart broke into pieces. I did not know what to do. Why were there so many twists and turns in my life? Why? I held on to my tears and dashed out of the ward, out of the hospital’s main entrance. I turned my head left and right, back and front to search for Miss Celine. I did not see anyone. I continued running based on my instinct. I had pure conscience that Miss Celine was still around. Running against the wind current made me feel sad and tensed. “Don’t give up, dear girl. You can do it and you’ll definitely grow up to be a woman of character one day. By then, I’ll be old and frail to salute this iron lady..” “...sooner later, you’ll be at the top...at the top...” I thought that I was psychologically ill as I kept hearing Miss Celine’s voice.

My thoughts and imagination came to a halt when I saw a crowd surrounding something. Some snapped photographs, some busy talking in their iPhones and Samsungs. I heard people saying that a lady had been knocked down by a car. If I weas not mistaken, I heard a sudden wail. I lifted my foot and ran towards the crowds. I squeezed through the crowds to get to the centre. To my utmost surprise, I saw my beloved teacher, Miss Celine lying in a pool of blood on the pavement, fingers still moving weakly. I fell to my knees.

“Miss Celine!!!! Miss Celine, please open your eyes, please... Look at me, I’m Annie!” my voice fell when Miss Celine opened her eyes slowly. But, she couldn’t see anything of course. I reached for her bloody hands.

“An..nie.. Do take good care of my eyes. See the world for me. Always count the stars at night. If you see an extra star, it would be me. I’ll always be up there for you. Goodbye for...nnow” Miss Celine closed her eyes and went.

From that day onwards, I go to church every morning. I fold paper stars and sing lullabies for Miss Celine in memoriam every single day. I collected a few bottles of paper stars and threw them into the Fairy River, let it flow with the water current until it reaches Miss Celine in heaven. That night, I looked up into the night sky and saw an extremely shiny star. I knew that Miss Celine had received my paper stars...