Once but Forever(Ananya) ONCE AND FOREVER
By Ananya Dontula

I stood over the valley gazing dreamily at the green grass which flew in the wind like wheat on the prairie. This was no prairie though. It was a crime scene. Even as I looked at this place I could see the night when yellow tape ran on every border and police cars ruined the silence. Even today it was as quiet as a temple. The far off honk of the rare car was all that could be heard. I glanced at the worn path and noticed a scrap of metal glinting at me in the sunlight. This scrap itself took me back...

"Come on!! We are so late!! You are too much of a slowpoke!" Malini shouted at me. "Hah. She can't do anything fast. We will never make it on time." Chitty agreed. Even as they said this I smiled at them and yanked my brush through my hair. "You guys are naturally beautiful, poor unfortunate souls like me who have to work for it" I giggled at them. "Blah blah. You complain too much. We are leaving without you then. Bye!" Malini blackmailed me as she pulled Chitty out the door."

That night will never leave my mind. I flew back to reality, even though the past was a better place. Freedom was what we had that day and freedom was what we abused. If only I had known that it was the last time I would be together with Malini and Chitty I would have never ever let go. I took a careful step on the path and made my way slowly down the valley. It was all my fault. Everything that happened. I looked down and saw a red patch in the dirt. It reminded me of blood. It took me back again...

"Wow! Awesome party yaar! Seriously I can't believe Nimi's parents allowed this much." Chitty shouted over the blasting music. "Well. I don't see why not. She's already spoiled. She probably threw a tantrum." Malini remarked. I gave her a glance but couldn't help but smile. Malini could be rude and mean but she was fun and hilarious at times. Her blueish grey eyes complimented her devil smile and gave her that look of someone who has a lot of fun. And she was. Someone who has a lot of fun, not a devil. I guess she was both. Chitty too was fun in her own way. She usually hid her pale face with a wave of hair and big framed glasses. She was a shy and reserved person, unless she was with us.

And reality approached me again. I had made my way to the bottom of the twisting valley path and to the small tree stump which stood limply in the grass. I took a deep breath and bent down in the wet soil. Taking out a small pen knife I slashed the tree stump viciously. In my dreams the tree stump was bleeding and it was broken. I still shouldn't blame this tree or the stump that's left of it. It's my fault. I was the one responsible for it and I am the one who will take the blame. I glanced at the stump again and went back to the past.

"How will we go home?" I asked. It was almost twelve in the night and all three of us were a bit high. We had a little bit of alcohol and we had worn ourselves out dancing with everyone from our class. Malini leaned against a stool and groaned "I forgot. Who's the least drunk?" Chitty and I raised our eyebrows and gave Mailini a look that said I-Wanna-Live-Please-No-Driving. "Oh blah blah. You are such grandmas. Let's have some fun!" she said loudly. "Mal.. We are not grandmas. We are people who care about, umm, I don't know... LIVING!!" I screamed in her ear. Chitty burst out laughing at us and me and Malini followed suit.

A sudden tug of reality hit me like a brick in the head. I fell back on the grass and let my eyes shut as tears escaped from them. The pen knife fell harmlessly across the valley floor and I was suddenly sobbing. Even though time passed I couldn't bring myself to be the same person I was before. My hands aimlessly reached to my cheek and fingered the scar that bordered my face and ran down my neck disappearing into my shirt. Vivek always kissed me and told me I was still beautiful but that's hard when I had the scar. The scar took me to the worst part of the night...

Malini had somehow forced me to drive and she was chatting with Chitty in the back seat. We were driving along a deserted lane in the darkness at one AM. That should have been my first clue to stop and call my parents. We didn't though. I lost my gaze on the road as I turned back to face Malini when the sudden glare of another car beamed at me. "Aaah" I screamed losing control of the car. I was pulled off the road and we went tumbling down the valley. In the fall the car headlights seemed to have stopped working and my seat belt kept me in my seat. My friends were not that lucky.

I don't remember much after that. I just remember waking up in a dark hospital room with my parents crying next to my bed. Vishnu, my brother, was asleep in a corner. The first thing I said was "Where's Chitty and Malini?" But at those words my parents cried more. My mother kissed my head and said "Beta. At least you are safe" I didn't understand those words then but the truth slowly dawned on me. Party, Driving, Crashing. "What happened?" I demanded. My father started...
"You were in the car with your friends. You lost control over a sudden valley and fell off the edge. Then the car tumbled down the ridge and crashed sideways into a tree. Chitty died instantly with a severe head injury. A branch of the tree had broken the window glass and pierced Malini down her middle. She was in pain and alive until we brought her to the hospital a while ago. You blacked out after hitting the tree. Only the splinters of Wood and shards of glass pierced your face honey."

I went back to the valley. Just to see how it was. The month after the accident. It was in perfect condition. No one with a look could tell anything happened here. Kicking the dirt with my foot I uncovered a shiny object. It was Malini's necklace. The one she never took off. The one which she got from her father before he left. She loved it to the core and never let anyone touch it. I have it now. On the days of the funerals and the days following I was in a constant state of gloom and self hate. Cursing myself every ten seconds for the whole time. I couldn't sleep or eat or live in peace.

I stopped. No more of this horrible memory. I don't want it and I don't need it. I just want my friends back. I want us to be the three musketeers again. I want us to laugh at everything and everyone again. I want the joy of life to come back. Days feel like rain just falling by every year. I want to see Chitty signalling me the answers in an exam and Malini cracking jokes. I want to spend the night in their houses and stay up all night watching scary movies. I want my friends back!

The valley beckoned me back and I wiped tears off my face. What's past is past but I can't let go of it. I know their memory will haunt me forever and that night will never leave me in peace. I don't want to forget anymore. I want to remember my friends. I want them to be there in my heart in that special place and never leave. Cause no matter what happens I Love Them. And they live in my memories...

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