in heaven(HAN SOO MMUN) when only few days are left is there still a chance for me to see her in heaven??


IN HEAVEN
"hurting her was his biggest mistake, seeing her was his last wish"
kyuhyun's pov
standing in the middle of a sea of people
i see some carrying thier baggages, making phone calls, some waiting for their flight in the benches
but out of this crowd
there's only one person my eyes are dying to see
"JIWON!!!JIWON!!!"
i saw her .her back was facing me but i know it's her
she looked at me.her eyes were filled with anger.
those eyes that once showed love for me
those eyes that once shed tears because of my foolishness
and she's walking away
leaving
i can't let her go away
no!!
i ran and tried to chase her
but then i failed
a punch landed on my face
"SO YOU STILL HAVE THE GUTS TO GO HERE!!AFTER WHAT YOU'VE DONE!!!"
it's siwon,jiwon's brother
"i'm sorry.please i'm begging you, don't make her leave please,i love her, please"
"love her??that's the exact words you said when i gave my trust to you.i thought you'd never hurt
her,YOU ARE MY BESTFRIEND!!you made my sister cry!!!you cheated on her!!"
"i will never do it again!believe me pls!!"
"do you think i'm that stupid!!!do you really think i'm gonna belive you!!back off,we're leaving!!!"
"dude."
"stop callling me that i don't have a bestfriend like you!!you're a jerk!!!"
he walked away
"JIWON!!!!"
i tried to call her hoping she will give me a chance
she stopped..
:))
walk towards my direction
and...
*slap*
"does it hurt kyu??"
"jiwon.."
i can see tears about to fall from her eyes
"oppa's right you're a jerk.you are the worst jerk i've ever met.i loved you.*sobs*believed in every word you said.trusted you.despite of the playboy reputation you have.oppa was your bestfriend,i thought
you'll never hurt me*sobs*i thought you'd love me,but i was wrong"
"jiwon,i'm sorry,i love you"
"i do not believe you anymore.goodbye."
i grabbed her hand
"jiwon i'm begging you please stay"
siwon pushed me and i fell to the floor
"oppa stop.let's go"
"jiwon!!!"
i can see her back facing me again
but she's not looking back
she will never look back
the sight of them leaving
her words that torn my heart into pieces
her goodbye
the reality that she's already gone
are my worst nightmare
"KYUHYUN!!!WAKE UP"
it's my noona
"neh??"
"breakfast is ready downstairs"
"araso i'll go there,i'll just fix myself"
that dream again
again..
since that day,that dream haunts me,even at my sleep
my terrible past.
the past that i cannot forget
the past that i cannot erase
the past that i cannot bring back
CHO KYHYUN
i used to be a campus hearthrob
girls screaming whenever i pass
handsome
i have the face that can make a girl pass out
intelligent
since first year i was the top of my class
rich
my father is an acclaimed neurologist
we own one of th prestigious hospitals in the country
i was also a varsity player
team captain of the football team
back to back champion
every girl's dream boyfriend
and because of that
i became a playboy
and yes,i did cheated on m girlfriend,jiwon,
but i do love her
i do,until now..
i was a jerk
i was stupid
i was a fool
never realized her worth
never realized how i really love her
and that was the biggest mistake of my life
but she's gone
she left
never coming back
and me??
i'm dying...
i have a heart disease
just one year left
that's what my doctor said
i went downstairs and went to the dining table.my mom,my dad and may older sister,ara, is there.
"good morning :)"
everyone smilled back at me
"dad,how's yoonsung,your patient??"
"he's stable now"
"great :)"
my dad put his spoon and fork down with this sad look on his face
"dad,wae??"
"i did saved yoonsung,but you, my own son,i..i..."
"dad,stop!!you are not be blamed of!!this not your fault.please stop dad!!"
"but you're dying and i cannot do anything,i'm one of the acclaimed doctors of the country"
"you're a neurologist dad not a cardiologist,"
i tried to put on a smile
"that's life"
actually a fake one
my father is a doctor
but he still can't save me
ironic huh..
i went back to my room
after a while noona went in
"kyu.your medicine"
i took a dose of my medicine wiith this thought on my mind,why am i still taking these??do they really work??
i'm still dying
"noona"
"hmm"
"gomawo :)"
"welcome kyu!!"
"no i mean for everything"
"kyuhyun,it's okay:)"
"just wanna say before it's too late"
"kyu,don't talk like that.have hope"
"i'm just being realistic"
"miracles happen kyu"
"really??"
"yes"
i smiled
she left
since the day i was diagnosed noona was the one taking care of me
since then her smile changed
she smiles just with her lips but not with her heart
maybe because of my condition
i miss the times when we would hangout together
play at the arcade
eat at our fave restaurant
i looked at my calendar
a few months left
only a few months
but if i were to have my last wish
it would ne to see jiwon
say sorry
 where are you??
just one more chance
even an hour will do
i just wanna be with you
i jsut wanna hear your  voice
just before i go...
just before i give up the fight...
i talked to my dad
"dad.."
"yes,kyu??"
"can we talk??"
"about what??"
"i wanna go find jiwon"
"but kyu"
"i know, my body is weak,my heart is weak,i'm dying in months but dad, no matter how i take care of myself i ,no matter how many medicines i take i will still die,it's nonsense,so please please let me find her"
my sister walked in
"CHO KYUHYUN!!"
"noona..."
"stop being a fool,will you?!!you will not die,do you hear me!!"
"ara,stop.please understand kyu"-dad
"what do you mean??you're letting him go!!"
"yes"
"dad,are you insane??"
"you're going with him"
"but.."
"cho ara!!no buts it's an order!!"
"araso!!"
and then it did happened
we left for madrid
we arrived there
everyday we're at the sreets,giving out leaflets with jiwon's face on
hoping someone would recognize her
we even tried going to radio and tv stations
one night after a day at the streets
i felt a difficulty in breathing and a discomfort in my chest
noona started to panic
"let's go to the hospital"
"but noona......i can't...."
"nuh michussuh??we have to"
"but i might get confined i can't waste a day at the hospital,jiwon"
noona just gave me my medications
fortunately it stopped
"sleep now okay"
i slept
that was probably midnight
i heard sobs
"noona"
i can see her wiping her tears
"kyu i thought you're sleeping??"
"are you crying??wae??do you miss home??you can go i can take care of myself"
"no,i won't.i'll stay with you,okay.noona will never leave you."
"but eventhough you're not saying it i know i'm giving you a hard time noona"
"kyu, i don't care.noona loves you very much.i will never leave you.get that dongsaeng??"
"noona.."
he hugged me
tears started falliing from my eyes
"how can i pay you??"
"you din't have to.just stay with us,too.okay.never leave us huh??"
i can't say yes
i know i can't fulfill that promise
i cried harder on her back
she was crying,too
too many tears had been shed
because of me
and all those tears will all be nonsense
because
i will still die
months passed
my clock is ticking so fast
just one month left
and still no jiwon
eotteoke??
i can feel my body getting weaker and weaker each day
jiwon just an hour
a minute
or even a second
one last please....
we're on a plaza when i saw a familiar face
the face i used to plaly football with when we're liitle
the face i am with during the best and worst parts of yesterday
my bestfriend
the same face who punched me in the face
the one i betrayed
the one who can never forgive me
i gathered up my courage and walked to him
with every step flashbacks started to play
our first game
our first fight
our first win
all the memories when we're still little
my promise
my piromise to never break his sister's heart
and how i broke that promise
"siwon"
he faced me
"what brought you here.we're happy now"
"please i need to talk to jiwon"
"no.i will never let you.just go back to korea,find a new girl,it's your talent,right??"
i knelt to the ground
"siwon please i'm begging you"
"ARE YOU REALLY INSANE!!STAND UP!!NO MATTER WHAT YOU!!NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY NOTHING WILL CHANGE!!GET LOST!!"
noona came
"KYUHYUN!!!"
"noona.."
"what do you think you're doing.stand up!!"
she saw siwon
"siwon??"
"you too??"
"kyuhyun i said stand up!!"
"no!!"
"siwon you need to know something"
"what ??"
i hold noona's hand
"no,don't tell him.he doesn't have to know"
"he does,kyu"
"what is it??"-siwon
"kyuhyun...."
"noona please"
"no kyu i have to say this"
"what is it??"-siwon
"kyuhyun has a heart disease.he only has one month"
i looked down
i don't know what was siwon's reaction
i just heard his voice
"follow me"
i stood up and we followed him
will he take us to jiwon??
am i really going to see jiwon??
we walked
until we reached a hospital
"is jiwon already a nurse or a doctor??"
"i didn't tell you to ask questions just follow me"
i shut my mouth
we reached a room
her walked from that room
siwon talked to her
then approached us
"kyuhyun long time no see"
i smiled
"where's jiwon??"
siwon and his mother exchanged gazes
"she's in there"
"but why??"
a very deep breath introduced her next sentence
"she's comatosed,oone year now"
my world crashed in that instant
"co.....co...coma??why??"
"she was involved in a car accident that damaged her brain"
"can i see her??"
"yes of course:)"
i walked in
she's there lying in bed
sleeping
with these machines making weird sounds sorrounding her
i saw a chair beside her bed
i sat there
tears starts to flow
her face was still the same
her skin was still as silky as before
her nose is still as perfect as the old times
her lips are still kissable
and her eyes althogh they're closed
i know they're still pretty
"jiwon, i'm not sure if you can still recognize my voice.it's kyuhyun.the jerk.the stupid.the fool....the one that made you cry before.i'm sorry.i was a fool,i did not realized how much i love you,how much i need you.
 i love you,jiwon.i still do."
i stopped when i saw the neckalce i geve her on our first monthsarry on her neck
"why are you still weating this??you should've thrown this a long time ago..do you still love me??"
her eyes
shed tears
she cried
but she's still unconscious
"i'm sorry i made you cry again"
tears fell continously from my eyes
"please wake up,promise you'll wake up okay.if you still love me,you'll wake up.i'll wait.just let me hear your voice again just before i leave this world"
i leaned and kissed her forehead
"i'll be going now but i'll be back. i promise"
i walked outside
"thanks for letting me talk to her"
"don't mind it,she needs that too"
i smiled
"we're going thanks again mrs.choi"
siwon wasn't there
i miss my bestfriend
if i can just bring the old times back
bring y bestfriend back
"DUDE!!!"
"noona,i think i'm too tired i'm hallucinating already"
she giggled
"siwon is calling you stupid"
"what??"
i turned around
and i saw him smiling waving at me
he's coming closer
"dude!!"
he hugged me
"is this real??"
"yes of course"
"you have forgiven me already??"
"yes kyu,you're my bestfriend"
"dude.."
i cried on his back
"kyuhyun be a man will you,stop crying"
i can say fromhis voice that he's crying
"you're gonna fight right??"
"you're gonna stay"
"we're gonna start again.like waht we had before"
"yes dude,i will"
THE NEXT DAY
"noona wake up!!!"
"kyuhyun aish!!!"
"noona let's go to jiwon!!"
"araso araso!!"
after a whilie we went to the hospital
i saw siwon sitting on the benches
he looked at me
he's crying
does this means
no......
"kyu,jiwon she's gone"
"no i do not believe you,you're bluffing,right??"
he shook hi head
after a while a group of men walked out of the room
with this bed with wheels on and a white cloth
i took the white cloth off
and saw jiwon
i touched her face
"jiwon.....jiwon wake up!!!please!!i thought you still love me!!am i wrong??"
"jiwon open your eyes.i do not believe them you're not dead,you're gonna wake up!!i'm gonna wait for you!!jiwon i want to hear your voice please!!"
i hugged her
"kyu stop"
pulling me away from jiwon
"no siwon,no!!!i wll not leave her again!!noooooooooo!!!"
but i was weak they pulled me from her
"no don't  take her !!where are you taking her??i'm going with her!!"
"kyu stop your heart"
"nan sanggwan eopseo!!i'd rather die!!just don't take her away!!"
they startes waliking away
"JIWON!!!NOOO!!!COME BACK!!JIWON!!!"
noona decided to go back to the hotel because i need to rest
"i'll just buy some foods outside"
she left
i'm tired
i closed my eyes
i'm too tired
i saw myself lying in bed
noona came back
she passed through me
what??
then she cried beside me
trying to wake me up
noona!!!i'm here!!yah!!  can't you hear me??
does this mean??
"kyu bear!!"
that voice
she's the only one calling me that way
"jiwon??"
she smiled
and reached her hand for me
i hold her hand
still smiling
she was wearing white
she's like an angel
we walked
holding each other's hands
until we reached
a paradise-like place
green grass
flowers of different colors
so peaceful
i know what this means
this is the new beginning i' m wanting since that day
with her
the girl i love
i promise to love her
never to hurt her again
she looked at me
"kyuhyun,saranghae"
"jiwon,nado saranghae"
-IN HEAVEN
 

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